Author |
Message |
Ratyson
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 03:43 pm: |
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You know.. something you probably would have heard your grandpa say... Post em' up examples: Don't eat anything bigger than your head. If a tree don't fall on me... I'll live till I die. If it's got wheels, or tits, one day it will cause you trouble. (Said to me a long time ago by an old machinist at a place I used to work) |
Slaughter
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 03:51 pm: |
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Do that for 100 years and you'll live to be an old man. |
Mortarmanmike120
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 03:57 pm: |
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Before you start getting serious with a girl, you might wanna let me know who her mother is. (We lived in a small county and my Grandad was the original sly ole fox) |
Mortarmanmike120
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 03:59 pm: |
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His other favorite: "if ya shake it more then twice, you're playing with it" |
P_squared
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 03:59 pm: |
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"If you're going to do it, do it RIGHT or don't bother doing it at all." |
F_skinner
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 04:01 pm: |
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I won't look for them till I see them. If you did that to yourself imagine what you would have done to me. Do as I say not as I do. Here is a nickel, see if it will fit in the light socket. I saw a quarter on the highway, go find it. Go get me something to beat you with. |
Fast1075
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 04:01 pm: |
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"If you're dumb, yah gotta be tough" |
Dbird29
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 04:06 pm: |
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If they are that bad/stupid/etc you don't have to get them because someone will. |
Mortarmanmike120
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 04:12 pm: |
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Whenever we had dinner (there were alot of us) and somebody new was there, he'd tell em: "The bashful go hungry, you better get in there" I miss him. |
Hughlysses
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 04:14 pm: |
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Beauty is only skin deep...but ugly goes right to the bone! (my Dad) |
Svh
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 04:18 pm: |
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Overheard last month in Greensboro NC as stated by a manly lesbian by the pool: "Holy shit! If the pool is colder than my beer I don't get in." (Message edited by svh on June 16, 2009) |
Not_purple_s2
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 04:21 pm: |
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My favorites from my dad "Don't do that, it hurts" - this was always stated after I hurt myself. "Don't look at me in that tone of voice." |
P_squared
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 04:36 pm: |
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"We've got a rule, you eat whatever you put on your plate. If you don't you're being rude to the cook." He passed away on 4/15. I miss him. |
Swordsman
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 04:38 pm: |
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"Wish in one hand, s#!t in the other, and see which one fills up fastest." One of my favs from my Dad. ~SM |
Hootowl
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 05:32 pm: |
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"Heavens to Murgatroyd!" I miss my grandpa |
Tq_freak
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 05:57 pm: |
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"you cant make chicken soup out of chicken Sh!T" "Thats like a sore pecker......ya cant beat it!" |
Ft_bstrd
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 06:02 pm: |
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"I'll take two of those. One to shit on. One to cover it up with." "That fell apart like a cheap piece of fruit cake." "That was as pretty as a wave on a slop bucket." |
Hr_puffinstuff
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 06:07 pm: |
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If you're going to do something wrong, do it right. |
Kowpow225
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 06:15 pm: |
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The world would be pretty boring if we were all the same. -Dad |
Bhillberg
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 06:34 pm: |
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If you don't have time to do something right, you don't have time to do it over again. |
Buellhusker
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 07:13 pm: |
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Rich or poor its nice to have money. Don't be so busy that you don't have time to make money. |
Just_ziptab
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 07:27 pm: |
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Don't help till we get caught up. |
99savage
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 07:29 pm: |
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"Good enough is very best" Wise old professor or machine design. |
Ourdee
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 07:30 pm: |
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Keep your penis out of the payroll. Don't steal it if it's not worth more than a years pay. |
Road_thing
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 07:33 pm: |
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"Boy, you could f**k up a junkyard." rt |
Tq_freak
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 07:53 pm: |
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"Boy, you could F**K up a wet dream" |
Ferrisbuellersdayoff
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 07:59 pm: |
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My Grandfather was a Doctor of Education at Univ. of Cinci. Only a fool brings a knife to a gunfight. Horses need love too. You want sympathy? Its in the dictionary between Sh!t and Syphillis. You're gonna fall off of there and smack your head. And I'm gonna laugh. Bring me my foot so I can wedge it up your ass! Guy shows off his new .45 at the bar once to scare the bartender and granddad said "I own one of them but its bigger." Guy says theres nothing bigger and he'd like to see someone prove him wrong. Granddad pulls and aims a .510 at the guy and says "You wont be having an open casket funeral after I pull this trigger. Drop it and get the F@#K out of here." Cops werent happy with his vigilante views but the bar gave him free drinks for life. |
Ulynut
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 08:21 pm: |
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Never get in a pissing match with a skunk. |
Glitch
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 08:37 pm: |
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Doin' what I can with what I've got |
Gjwinaus
| Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 08:42 pm: |
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An alternative to marriage ( from my Dad) Get yourself a vacuum cleaner, washing machine, a pressure cooker, (this was before microwave ovens)and get yourself to a cat house once a week. Some of the best advice I never took. |