| Author | Message | ||
     Dragon_slayer |
WELCOME, FEEL FREE TO STAY AWHILE. POSTINGS ARE WELCOMED HERE! | ||
| Dragon_slayer |
A guy walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be thousands of dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks. "What's up with the jar?" "Well, you pay $10 and if you pass three tests, you get all the money." The man certainly isn't going to pass this up. "What are the three tests?" "Pay first, those are the rules." says the bartender. So the man gives him the $10 and the bartender drops it into the jar. "OK," the bartender says. "Here's what you need to do: First - You have to drink that entire gallon of pepper tequila, the whole thing, all at once...and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, There's a pit bull chained-up out back with a sore tooth.You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands. Third. - There's a 90-year old woman upstairs who has never had an orgasm. You've gotta make things right for her." The man is stunned. "I know I paid my $10, but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila, and then do those other things..." "Your call," says the bartender, "but your money stays where it is." As time goes on and the man has a few drinks, then a few more, he asks, "Where ez zat tequila?" He grabs the gallon with both hands and downs it with a big slurp. Tears are streaming down both cheeks, but he doesn't make a face. Next, he staggers out back where the pit bull is chained-up and soon the people inside the bar hear a huge, noisy, scuffle going on outside. They hear the pit bull barking, the guy screaming, the pit bull yelping and then silence. Just when they think the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar, with his shirt ripped and large bloody scratches all over his body. "Now," he says, "where's the old woman with the sore tooth?" | ||
| Doncasto |
Wouldn't this be better suited for the Quick Board? YMMV. | ||
| Lowflyer |
No. | ||
| Skyguy |
Three mice drinking at the bar.... First mouse downs a shot, turns to the other two mice and says "I am so damm tough I steal the cheese right off mousetraps"! Second mouse downs a shot and says "thats nothing, i chop up them Decon tablets and sniff them like they are cocaine"! Third mouse downs a shot and pushes is stool back and heads for the door. The other two mice are like "Hey whats up"? Third mouse says "Aww, I gotta go home and screw the cat". | ||
| Dragon_slayer |
Hey Don, thanks for dropping in! No, this thread is intended as a Uly owner resting stop. A place for bull and fun while posting the more serious stuff on other Uly threads. Many of us read and post on both this area and the Quick Board. Two different areas with two different feels. Being a Uly owner, I relate to this area better. I hope the others feel the same. Only time will tell! | ||
| Snub13 |
In truth Don, this is the only way that Dragon Slayer can control his urge to hijack every thread he reads. If you need any other clarification my name is Rich Early, just drop a line. | ||
| Dragon_slayer |
Snub,  | ||
| Solarbri |
A monkey is smoking a joint up in a tree. A lizard walks by and sees the monkey and says,"What are you doing monkey?" "I'm smoking a joint, come on up." So the lizard goes up in the tree and smokes with the monkey. After some time the lizard says to the monkey, "I'm thirsty. I'm going down to the river to drink some water." So the lizard goes down to the river to drink and being sooo baked, he stumbles head first into the river. Well the crocodile, who's been watching the strangely acting lizard, helps him up out of the river and asks, "What you been doing lizard?" The lizard says, "I've been smoking a joint up in the tree with monkey. You should go check it out!" So crocodile goes to the tree where the monkey is still smoking and says, "Hey monkey, what are you doing?" The monkey looks at the crocodile and says, "Dude! How much water did you drink?"  | ||
| Grimace308 |
Q: Why didnt hitler drink tequila? A: It made him mean. | ||
| Pbransonii |
Leave it to somebody to bust up a perfectly good party with a Hitler joke. | ||
| Pbransonii |
So, to honor his wife, a guy has her name, "Wendy," tatooed on his ding ding. He soon finds out that when he is unaroused, all he can see is "We" and the "y." A few months later he and his wife are on vacation in Jamaica. After a few Red Stripes, he heads to the John. While standing there, a Rasta guy with dreads and all comes in and does his business in the urinal next to him. Well, after hearing all his life that Rasta dudes are so well endowed, the guy just has to have a look. So he glances down and there on the Rasta guy's ding ding he sees "We" and a "y." He's so surprised that he grabs his own ding ding and pulls it out straight and says "Hey, look. We both have the same thing tattooed on our dingers." The Rasta dude, totally unflappable, looks down and discovers what is going on. He smiles and says,"Ha, ha, ha. No mon. Mine say, 'Welcome to Jamaica. Have a nice day.'" | ||
| Brat |
Mickey Mouse is getting a divorce from Minnie, the judge says "Mr Mouse, you can't get a divorce purely because Minnie is stupid" Mickey replies "Your honour, I didn't say she was stupid, I said she was f*&^ing Goofey"! | ||
| Dragon_slayer |
A saying for today: People say, "Shit Happens!" I say, "You don't have to step in it!" | ||
| Bindy |
Mouse went out with the Giraffe, after the date he staggered back to the bar to his mates. After downing a bourbon he looked at his mates and said out of breathe "Between her yelling Kiss me....Make love to me, I feel like I've run a marathon!  | ||
| Dragon_slayer |
Bindy, what an image! Did the mouse have track shoes on?  | ||
| Bindy |
a saying for today Just remember when you ride a bike on the road you are pretty much a SUPER HERO to the general driving public..  THE INVISIBLE MAN/WOMEN!!!!! | ||
| Dragon_slayer |
Tip of the hat to LOWFLYER for this one!  Some guys never see the falls, and most women see it in seconds! | ||
| Lowflyer |
Lowflyer's honeymoon...  | ||
| Lowflyer |
Random ad...  | ||
| Lowflyer |
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| Dragon_slayer |
NEWS FLASH!  Colin Edwards trashes factory ride after hearing that the new Buell XBRR was now available! | ||
| Crusty |
In 1994 I was traveling with my two Australian friends from Byron Bay to Cairns on our bikes. (They had Harley soft tails, and I was on an XJ 900 Yamaha). Once we got above Bundaberg, we were riding through mostly Cane plantations. At one point a Ute (pickup truck) pulled out onto the road ahead of us with a full grown cow tethered in the bed. I was leading my friends at the time, but keeping a safe distance behind the Ute and its bovine passenger. Suddenly, I noticed the air behind the cow was very blurred and my face felt damp. I grabbed my brakes so hard that my friends thought my engine had seized. I explained what happened, and they noticed that their faces had felt damp, but they didn't know why. Fortunately, there was a petrol station a short ways ahead, and we stopped and washed our faces thoroughly. Now I wear a full face helmet. | ||
| Dragon_slayer |
AHH Crusty, bonding with nature were we?  | ||
| Snub13 |
He, He... Crusty, I had a similar situation on the hi-way but luckily I was in my truck. | ||
| Bindy |
Hi Guys, been away hope you missed me Been to the Tamworth Country Music Festival  really HUGE event here in Aussie. Not usually my cup of tea, but my Dad is a bit of a Country and Western Legend here in Aussie and he asked me to go ( first time in over thirty years) so thought I better do the right thing. What a hoot, bestest time I have had in I don't know how long. They shut down the traffic to the Town and it just becomes one BIG PUB CRAWL!!!! It was all free and you just walked in and if you did not like the place you moved to the next. The music ranged from country to blues to rock to just the most amazing!!!  The coppers (police) where great and everyone was there for a good time.... no BAD vibes, people where dancing on the bars and tables. What Opto and I call the pensioner set (over 60) where raging and singing "Who the F&*k is Alice" it was a scream!!!! Uly is just hooning along and Bindy Buell is as sweet as ever. Opto is totally absorbed with getting something to defeat the ECM and working on the Spark to stop pinging. Opto has built a LCD display to be mounted in Bindy's instrument cluster. I love it could not care less about it's practical use just love the fact it says "GOOD GIRL ON A BAD BINDY, LETS RIDE JANNELLE"  Anyway still on a natural high from the weekend, Dragon and Snub13 wished you could have been here.  Take Care Be safe Stay Upright Bindy | ||
| Dragon_slayer |
Hi Bindy, hell yea we missed you! Welcome back and sorry I could not join you. I was so disappointed that I had to pacify myself by taking a trip to the Cleveland motorcycle show. Got to met four of the Buell Motor Co. people. Hi, Peggy, Nick, Brian, and Dave! They were very interested in my opinions about my Uly. Psss, do not tell Opto, Snub, and Lowflyer, but after my discussion with the Buell staff, I would not be surprised if the color black is no longer offered!  | ||
| Dragon_slayer |
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| Dragon_slayer |
With the high rate of attacks on women in secluded parking lots, especially during evening hours, the Minneapolis City Council has established a "Women Only" parking lot at the Mall of America. Even the parking lot attendants are exclusively female so that a comfortable and safe environment is created for patrons. Below is the first picture available of this worlds-first women-only parking lot in Minnesota .  | ||
| Bindy |
God loves a person who TRIES and he loves you Dragon  I am sure that Peggy, Nick, Brian and Dave would have nodded and agreed to anything you said at the time,  However...CLASSY IS CLASSY and Buell knows what class is and that is BLACK BUELLS!  Ah Dragon, now I know why Opto lives in fear of going to the shops with me in my car  I now can see it from a man's perspective, you men just can not park and save space at the same time and this makes him feel inferior. Oh that's right guy's can not do two things at once |
