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Buell Forum » Big, Bad & Dirty (Buell XB12X Ulysses Adventure Board) » BB&D Archives » Archive through August 30, 2006 » SLAYER'S Misc. Sayings, Stories, News, & Jokes Thread » Archive through February 21, 2006 « Previous Next »

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Snub13
Posted on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 11:47 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Bindy, I would have replied sooner but I was chewing gum.

I can't reply now either because I'm thinking
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Crusty
Posted on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 12:15 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

I have to agree that black Ulys are classy. Not quite as classy as orange Ulys, but they are classy.
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Dudeman
Posted on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 12:57 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Once you go black, you never go back -)
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Bindy
Posted on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 06:59 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Actually after making that statement, I just realized I am amongst exceptional men, you guys can ride Buells, so therefore I take back that statement.

But Snub you've got me worried, you take your time my friend, stay calm, obviously you have not ridden for a while and are confused.
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Bindy
Posted on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 11:31 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Hey Dudeman, love ya photo, nice bike and great color.

Crusty, I will take that in the fellowship that it was given and forgive you for being misguided in your color choice.

Take Care Be Safe Stay Upright
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Snub13
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 06:32 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

river

Some women say there is a waterfall in this photo. I still can't see it.
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Bindy
Posted on Sunday, February 05, 2006 - 08:37 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Snub13 I am in trouble.....

I cant see the waterfall just a drop dead beautiful BLACK Uly.

What does this mean? I am trying not to worry as Opto assures me I am all woman, but no matter how much I stare at the picture I cant see the waterfall.
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Snub13
Posted on Monday, February 06, 2006 - 09:42 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Have no fear Bindy, I'm sure your are all women if Opto says so....

Please note in my post that I said "some women.." The ones who can see the waterfall must have some sort of genetic abnormality.

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Dragon_slayer
Posted on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 - 08:56 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

A biker stopped by the local Harley shop to have his bike fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.
On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and an anvil. He stopped by the feed store/livestock dealer and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However,struggling outside the store he now had a problem: how to carry all of his purchases home.
While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?"
The biker said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 1616 Mockingbird Lane. I would walk you home but I can't carry this lot."
The old lady suggested, "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm, and carry the goose in your other hand?"
"Why, thank you very much," he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.
On the way he said, "Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time."
The little old lady looked him over cautiously. Then said, "I am a lonely old lady without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?"
The biker said, "Holy smokes lady! I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"
The lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket and I'll hold the chickens."
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Bindy
Posted on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 - 09:07 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Hi Ya Dragon, I have missed you welcome back!!!!
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Dragon_slayer
Posted on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 - 10:01 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

LEE & FRIEND

Hey, Lowflyer.
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Dragon_slayer
Posted on Sunday, February 12, 2006 - 01:04 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Choosing a wife:
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.
Men are like that, you know.

P.S. There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
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Electraglider_1997
Posted on Sunday, February 12, 2006 - 03:48 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

The priest told this at church today during the sermon (truth!). I laughed out loud until I remembered where I was. Before the sermon one of the readings had to do with Jesus healing a leper.

Our priest started the sermon by telling everyone that infants get skin problems on the face because they have to get used to different foods. He said this woman he knew had an infant with bad skin irritations of the face and she took the baby onto a bus. The bus driver took a look at the baby and without thinking blurted out to the mother that she had the ugliest baby he had ever seen. She couldn't believe that he had said this and she was greatly agitated as she went to the rear of the bus where she sat near another bus rider. This guy could tell she was very disturbed about something and asked her if everything was OK. She told him that the bus driver had insulted her when she got on the bus. The guy told here that the bus driver is supposed to greet bus patrons and could be fired for such rude behavior and she should go back up there and tell the bus driver as much. He then said, " Go on up their and give him a piece of your mind and don't worry I'll watch the monkey for you".
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Dragon_slayer
Posted on Thursday, February 16, 2006 - 11:05 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Today's topic: Opinions!
Ok, the last two days I have been bitting my tongue while reading postings on the "Big, Bad, & Dirty". I had to keep checking to make sure I had not strayed into the "Quick Board" section. Why? Because there seems to be a lot of correcting, and preaching going on about the opinions expressed by others.
I am all for others expressing their opinions and sharing their knowledge, even if I do not agree with them. Imagine that! And yes, I also would like people to see my views, and to share with them correct information. But I think most of us respond better to a friendlier touch. The old saying comes to mind, "you can lead a horse to water but, you can not make her/him drink!" To do other wise is like "beating a dead horse."

Just my opinion, but do you get my point?
Thank you and goodnight!
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Crusty
Posted on Friday, February 17, 2006 - 05:09 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

You mean something like. LIVE AND LET LIVE ?
What a novel concept!
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Lowflyer
Posted on Friday, February 17, 2006 - 08:31 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

I just feel this overwhelming urge to make everyone as smart as I am. What better way to facilitate that than to bestow upon them the inherent wisdom of my opinion?
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Snub13
Posted on Friday, February 17, 2006 - 12:12 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

I learned an important lesson from one of my Drill Sergeants' quite a few years ago.

"Opinions are like a*#holes, everyone has one and they usually stink"


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Lowflyer
Posted on Friday, February 17, 2006 - 12:38 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

My dad used to say the same thing. I think I replied with, "How many a$$holes did you have to sniff to figure that out?"

He then threw me up a flight of stairs.
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Snub13
Posted on Friday, February 17, 2006 - 12:52 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Lowflyer, are you sure we aren't brothers?
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Dragon_slayer
Posted on Saturday, February 18, 2006 - 10:08 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Yes guys, you are Black Uly brothers. I forgive you anyways. Man that hurt!
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Bindy
Posted on Sunday, February 19, 2006 - 08:06 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

It is my opinion ...

That information given is based on a question asked, and that a person answers that question on the basis, that they have experienced or heard of the problem, and have found or heard of a resolution that they feel may help.

This information is usually given in good faith, and in the hope that it may help the person who asked the question.

There is normally no expectations other than to help, except perhaps, (if the information given is useful to the person who asked the question) an acknowlegement that it was useful or actually resolved the problem.

However, as I have previously said this is only my opinion, and so therefore clears me of any opinions from anyone else because I have not made a statement that requires anyones opinion.

However, again in my opinion what normal follows are opinions by others as to whether the information given is correct or suitable.

It has been my experience and is also my opinion that this is usually done by people who did not ask the question in the first place, and have not given information on the question asked.

For some strange reason this group can only give opinions on other peoples information but never seem to be able or in my opinion be brave enough to make a statement of their own.

It is my opinion that opinions are given when the person giving the opinion is not confident enough to give information or make a statement, so therefore they rave on with opinions to draw attention away from the question so that they are not required to commit themselves to any information that people might have an opinion on.

Opinions require no response as they are only opinions and believe it or not but here in Aussie are not even accepted in a court of law.

And in the words of the great Forrest Gump thats all I have to say about that.
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Bindy
Posted on Sunday, February 19, 2006 - 09:08 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Oh by the way, you may have an opinion as to whether you think opinions require a response or even an opinion as to whether Forrest Gump is great or not, but personally I am not interested in your opinion.

However someone else may wish to listen to your opinion and therefore you are free to express it.
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Crusty
Posted on Sunday, February 19, 2006 - 09:11 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Actually, my opinion is the most important one of all; at least as far as I'm concerned.
Especially when it comes to how beautiful orange Ulys are.
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Bindy
Posted on Sunday, February 19, 2006 - 09:27 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Crusty I believe you have made a statement and I agree with your statement that Orange Uly's are beautiful.

However the Black Uly just caught my eye, just my taste I guess.
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Snub13
Posted on Monday, February 20, 2006 - 11:21 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Well, Bindy.......you cleared that up!

But that's just my opinion and from my last post you can take it for what it's worth!

My opinion of your opinion about Crustys' statement is that you know what your talking about! Black Ulys rule! (in my opinion.)



What were we talking about?
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Dragon_slayer
Posted on Monday, February 20, 2006 - 08:15 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Cripes, time for a joke!

Dear Cooter,
Me an Sue Ellen have divorced. The judge gave her the double wide and the pickup.
So, like the court order said, I delivered the truck before 2 o'clock yesterday afternoon. I took a picshure fer proof that I delivered it...wanted to make shor she found it when she got home!!!
How's your day going? See ya later,

Your Buddy,
Bubba

"Git er done!"


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Bindy
Posted on Monday, February 20, 2006 - 08:25 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Well you did ask Dragon

Next.........
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Dragon_slayer
Posted on Tuesday, February 21, 2006 - 08:07 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Ok Bindy!

How to tell the sex of a Bird
This Is AMAZING!!!
Until now I never fully understood how to tell,
The difference Between Male and Female Birds.
I always thought it had to be determined surgically.
Until Now.
Which of The Two Birds Is a Female???
Below are Two Birds. Study them closely...
See If You Can Spot Which of The Two Is The Female.
It can be done.
Even by one with limited bird watching skills.
*

*

*

*

*




Ok, are you happy now?
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Bindy
Posted on Tuesday, February 21, 2006 - 10:18 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

yes Dragon I am happy now

But I dont suppose you know what the male bird is raving on about.
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Dragon_slayer
Posted on Tuesday, February 21, 2006 - 10:46 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Her spending habits?
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