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Buell Forum » Quick Board Archives » Archive through March 03, 2008 » Differences between men and women « Previous Next »

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Old_man
Posted on Saturday, March 01, 2008 - 12:37 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

> 1.NAMES
>
>
> If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will
> call
> each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
>
>
>
> If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to
> each
> other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
>
> 2.EATING OUT
>
> When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a
> $20 ,
> even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything
> smaller
> and none will actually admit they want change back.
>
> When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
>
> 3.MONEY
>
> A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
>
> A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on
> sale.
>
>
> 4.BATHROOMS
>
>
> A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving
> cream, razor, a
> bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
>
> The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A
> man
> would not be able to identify most of these items.
>
> 5.ARGUMENTS
>
> A woman has the last word in any argument.
>
> Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument.
>

>
> 6.FUTURE
>
> A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
>
> A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
>
> 7.SUCCESS
>
> A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
>
> A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
>
> 8.MARRIAGE
>
> A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
>
> A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
>
>
> 9.DRESSING UP
>
> A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
> garbage,
> answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
>
> A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
>
>
> 10.NATURAL
>
> Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
>
> Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
>
> 11.OFFSPRING
>
> Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
> dentist
> appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears
> and
> hopes and dreams.
>
> A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
>
>
>12.THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
>
> Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two
> people
> remembering the same thing.
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His_and_her_buells
Posted on Saturday, March 01, 2008 - 01:13 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)


Brilliant! i'm forwarding a copy of this to my wifes email, she'll love it.
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Corporatemonkey
Posted on Saturday, March 01, 2008 - 02:16 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

and a towel from the Marriott.

Now THAT is funny : )
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No_rice
Posted on Saturday, March 01, 2008 - 03:42 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

lmao, thats pretty good!
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Doerman
Posted on Saturday, March 01, 2008 - 11:24 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

A man looks for many women to satisfy his one need.

A woman looks for one man to satisfy her many needs
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Spdkls
Posted on Saturday, March 01, 2008 - 01:43 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

a woman goes to the garage and spends 300 bucks on an oil change and some other things the tells her broke on the car.

a man will spend three hours under the car just trying to get the damn oil filter off, as long as nobody else ever touches his car.
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Djkaplan
Posted on Saturday, March 01, 2008 - 02:28 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

> A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving
> cream, razor, a
> bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.


Heh... the towels I use for shaving are the little pool towels with a blue stripe from the La Quinta Inn.
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