| Author | Message | ||
     Mr_grumpy |
1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? 2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? 3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? 5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? 7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? 8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist? 9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? 10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? 11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? 12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence? 13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? 14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's licences of bald men? 15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered if Chinese mothers use toothpicks? 16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the post? 17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. 18. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning. 19. Ever wonder about those people who spend two pound a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: 20. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? 22. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea, does that mean that 1 enjoys it? 23. Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when you send it by sea it is called cargo? 24. If a convenience store is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the door? | ||
| Texastechx1 |
7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? MMEEEEEEE! | ||
| Iamike |
Where I grew up we had a town nearby called Lisbon. We always wondered if the residents were called Lisbions. | ||
| Swampy |
Curley from the Three Stooges, eleventy one, eleventy two, eleventy three, eleventy four.... Number 24: The doors are locked on the Cosey Mart up the street because it keeps people from getting in after O'dark thirty, and robbing the place. | ||
| Danger_dave |
How come only one hole in your watch band gets all the action? | ||
| Pkforbes87 |
"How come only one hole in your watch band gets all the action?" I find that the other holes are too loose/tight. | ||
| Limitedx1 |
"how many pairs of pants does it take before you realize, you need a catch can?" (tube riders only, lol) | ||
| Doughnut |
14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's licences of bald men? BAL | ||
| Spiderman |
2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? And what if it is a mixed baby, would it be a pole-hole? | ||
| Court |
I can't answer the question but I can tell you that the Polish girl who asked to have her picture taken with me after my speech last Tuesday sure changed my opinion of Polish gals! | ||
| Spiderman |
It's all about the Polaks   | ||
| Cobra |
Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? | ||
| Doerman |
Why do California Freeways have toll lanes | ||
| Doughnut |
If con is the opposite of pro. . . . . . is Congress the opposite of progress? | ||
| Hootowl |
"6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?" If his name is Bernard Madoff, it makes perfect sense. | ||
| Dropnstyle |
Why do kamikazi's wear helmets? Why do they swab the area of a lethal injection? are they afraid of infection? If nothing sticks to teflon how does teflon stick to the pan? | ||
| Mr_grumpy |
Court, I've known about Polish girls since we used to deliver truckloads of televisions there after the wall came down. Ditto Czech girls & Hungarians too. Remind me to tell you sometime........  | ||
| Danger_dave |
Polish = great rack. | ||
| Cityxslicker |
Ah I do love me some E block womenz, best thing that ever happened to Europe was when the Wall came down.... and French women discovered perfume was not a substitute for bathing. | ||
| 4dwuds |
Why do they call them apartments when they are so close together ? You don't need a hot water heater, if the water was hot, you would not need to heat it, You need a cold water heater. | ||
| Mr_wizard |
Why do you park in a driveway and drive on a parkway? Why are astroids in space and hemroids on your ass? If there were 8 days in a week what would the 8th day be called? | ||
| Swordsman |
I visited the Czech Republic for a wedding. I told my wife we couldn't stay... it would put too much of a strain on our wedding vows. I'm devoted, but DAMN!  ~SM |
