| Author | Message | ||
     Pilot |
Q. What do you call a bunch of cows? A. A herd. Q. What do you call a bunch of fish? A. A school. Q. What do you call a bunch of Harleys? A. A trailer load. borrowed from brisbane bikers.com | ||
| Spooky |
Pilot, Please no more jokes. I'm in pain.  | ||
| Pilot |
An elderly gent walks up to the bar of a biker hangout and asks.Who owns the pit bull terrier tied to a harley out front? The biggest baddest smellyest biker replies. I do and what of it? My dog just killed it replied the gent. Wow did he do that the bbsb asks? Gent replies ,Your dog choked on mine. | ||
| Pilot |
go to www.brisbane bikers.com and read the rest yourself. my cut and paste key wore out | ||
| Philip |
dude walks into a bar. orders a beer and then walks around talking to a few of the patrons. later he's sitting at the bar, talking to the bartender. dude says, i'll bet you 500 dollars i can stand on your bar and piss into this beer mug from 10 feet away without missing a single drop. bartender says no way, your on. dude sets the mug on the bar, jumps up on the bar and proceeds to piss on the bar, the bartender, several patrons and everywhere but into the mug! bartender is laughing his ass off and all kinds of excited about winning 500 dollars. says how could you make such a bet that you could't possibly win? dude says see those three guys over there crying? i bet each of them a thousand dollars i could stand on your bar and piss all over it and you and some customers and you would be absolutely jumping for joy! | ||
| Hootowl |
Three blonds walk into a bar, order a pitcher of beer, and proceed to the nearest table whereupon they begin drinking and cheering each other shouting "45 days!" This goes on for quite a while. Some of the other patrons of the establishment begin to wonder what all the hoopla is about, and one gentleman decided to find out. He asks them what they are so worked up about, to which they replied, "We bought a puzzle that said 3 to 5 years on the box and we did it in 45 days!" | ||
| Newfie_buell |
These are good, glad I started this one. Pilot, those are hilarious!!!! CJ - Are you teaching the Mens Classes at the community college!!??!! | ||
| Cj_xb |
Newfie, I wish !! LOL CJ XB | ||
| Newfie_buell |
Yeah I bet, If you did we all would be signing up for cooking class!!! hehehehehehe Was that a Joke????(glad she is not within arms reach - I'd be beaten) | ||
| Timbo |
An Australian goes on a safari in Africa, taking his pet dingo along for company. One day, the dingo starts chasing butterflies and before long discovers that he is lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch. The dingo thinks, "Gee, I'm in deep trouble now!" Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dingo exclaims loudly, "Bugger me dead, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew," says the leopard. "That was close. That dingo nearly had me." Meanwhile, a monkey had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree. He figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes. But the dingo sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving Aussie dingo." The dingo sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, "Man, what am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dingo sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet. Just when they get close enough to hear, the dingo says, "Where the bloody hell is that monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard." | ||
| Cj_xb |
How to Tell If You Are a Redneck You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey watch this." You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan. Your junior prom had a daycare. You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen start your engines." You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels. Your front porch collapses and kills more than five dogs. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge. One of your kids was born on a pool table. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it. | ||
| Buellmule |
You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen start your engines." CJ XB, That is exactly how my 7 yr. old Niece sings it. lol But ya know, she's from Texarkana. She's a keeper! | ||
| Newfie_buell |
OH Shit, I just got that!!!!"Gentleman, start you engines" I just really lead a way too sheltered life up here in the North Atlantic Ocean!!!!! My contribution to the jokes: Why Men shouldn't babysit!!!!  edited by Newfie_Buell on October 09, 2003 | ||
| Newfie_buell |
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| Newfie_buell |
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| Newfie_buell |
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| Cj_xb |
Aaawwww, the little guy on the scooter getting a ticket is soooo cute !!!! CJ XB  | ||
| Spiderman |
A Preist a rabbi and a Nun walk into a bar. The bartender says what is this a Joke? | ||
| Cj_xb |
Spidey, I don't get it ????  | ||
| M1combat |
The rotterdam kid rocks... He was my background for a while  . | ||
| M2me |
Spidey, I get it!  edited by m2me on October 09, 2003 | ||
| Newfie_buell |
An American, Upper Canadian and a Newfie were in a bar telling stories about whose local was the best. The American says "Back Home we have a place called Jims, and when you buy a beer Jim gives you one free" The Upper Canadian says "Back in Toronto when you buy two beer at O'Malleys , O'Mally buys you two beers" The Newfie says "Back home at Captains, you buy two beers the Captain buys you two beers, you buy two more the Captain buys you two more, then you get lucky!!!" The American & Upper Canadian says "Wow what a place - did that really happen to you?" The Newfie replies "No it didn't happen to me, it happened to me Sister | ||
| Ray_maines |
An American tourist is in a car wreck in Australia. He wakes up the next day in a hospital bed surrounded by Doctors, Nurses and medical equipment. Realizing he is badly hurt, he asks the Australian nurse nearest him “Did I come here to die?” She replies “Why, no Luv, you came here yesterday.” | ||
| Phonemanjustin |
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw." | ||
| Phonemanjustin |
Did you hear about the disaster at a major U.S. University? A team of scientists were cloning monkeys and one of them blew up. The researchers are now trying to determine what went wrong by sifting through the Rhesus' pieces | ||
| Sgtbuell |
That's bad. | ||
| Spiderman |
LOL CJ think about how most bar jokes start and it will slowley come to ya  | ||
| Cj_xb |
slowley come to ya Dang, I'm getting it now, sure am SLOW about it though !!! DUH !!!  | ||
| Iamike |
I told my wife the 3 blondes in the bar one, she still doesn't get it. Of course she's a blonde. | ||
| Cj_xb |
And your point would be ??? CJ XB  |
