| Author | Message | ||
     Old_man |
> 1.NAMES > > > If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will > call > each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. > > > > If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to > each > other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. > > 2.EATING OUT > > When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a > $20 , > even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything > smaller > and none will actually admit they want change back. > > When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. > > 3.MONEY > > A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. > > A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on > sale. > > > 4.BATHROOMS > > > A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving > cream, razor, a > bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. > > The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A > man > would not be able to identify most of these items. > > 5.ARGUMENTS > > A woman has the last word in any argument. > > Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument. > > > 6.FUTURE > > A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. > > A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. > > 7.SUCCESS > > A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. > > A successful woman is one who can find such a man. > > 8.MARRIAGE > > A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. > > A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. > > > 9.DRESSING UP > > A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the > garbage, > answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. > > A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. > > > 10.NATURAL > > Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. > > Women somehow deteriorate during the night. > > 11.OFFSPRING > > Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about > dentist > appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears > and > hopes and dreams. > > A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. > > >12.THOUGHT FOR THE DAY > > Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two > people > remembering the same thing. | ||
| His_and_her_buells |
 Brilliant! i'm forwarding a copy of this to my wifes email, she'll love it. | ||
| Corporatemonkey |
and a towel from the Marriott. Now THAT is funny  | ||
| No_rice |
lmao, thats pretty good! | ||
| Doerman |
A man looks for many women to satisfy his one need. A woman looks for one man to satisfy her many needs | ||
| Spdkls |
a woman goes to the garage and spends 300 bucks on an oil change and some other things the tells her broke on the car. a man will spend three hours under the car just trying to get the damn oil filter off, as long as nobody else ever touches his car. | ||
| Djkaplan |
> A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving > cream, razor, a > bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. Heh... the towels I use for shaving are the little pool towels with a blue stripe from the La Quinta Inn. |
