| Author | Message | ||
     86129squids |
OK, since this is the QB, and dang near all thing are allowed, many more distasteful than this subject, here goes: Hemhhorroid surgery.  My GF's brother had the procedure done last Tuesday, after suffering for years. As of today, he's not had his first actual bowel movement, but this morning he passed gas and even then hollered quite a bit. (!!!) I've heard that the first BM is like passing a fistful of treble hooks. Dear BW friends, other than the Percosets and laxatives he's been prescribed, what can be done to help him through this horrible time? Thanks in advance for any good advice, and I do apologize for bringing up such a heinous anus topic. Yeesh.  | ||
| Aesquire |
I just went through a week of anesthetic & opioid system paralysis so tell your buddy I'm sympathetic. The drugs basically shut down your internal involuntary muscles and the movement they do. You want gentle and most important, softeners to ease the transition back to normal. Plenty of fluids. Don't want anything to dry out. Miralax, or generic Polyethylene Glycol 3350 powder for solution, ( I have a bottle of the generic Clearlax from TopCare in front of me ) laxative & stool softener. Tasteless and transparent when stirred in water. No gag or Blech! issues at all. Other than that, follow the doctor's dietary advice. Might avoid hot wings for a bit.  | ||
| Sifo |
 Of course, I may not give the best medical advice. | ||
| Ourdee |
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| Hootowl |
I suggest a bidet toilet seat. Imagine wiping after passing the treble hooks. No, thank you. | ||
| Cityxslicker |
A table spoon full of olive oil 1/2 hour before every meal. Old wrestler trick to clean dead weight out of the Colon ....and there are pounds of it It will of course lube the chute like a slip and slide, treble hooks be damned. | ||
| 86129squids |
Got home a little while ago from work. My GF is already in bed, but at around 430PM EST he got started. Finished about 530, and went to bed. Skipped the horse race. Apparently he hollered soprano the whole time... Hoot- maybe Amazon has something... I honestly know nothing about them except the concept. Seems like tearing off your own fingernails with your teeth might be better than what he's dealing with. | ||
| 86129squids |
@city... interesting. We need to prove his "rectum retread" for the stream, before the river, and whether any barges can pass. (!!!) And, I claim copyright for "Rectum Retread". We actually canned some homemade yellow tomato salsa a couple of years ago, hot enuf to be called that. @Aesquire, I'll look into that. Today's his first ride on that rollercoaster. | ||
| 86129squids |
Hoot- done. Delivery Monday. Then I gotta make it all operationable. | ||
| Aesquire |
You're buddy might want to avoid olive oil induced purging until after he heals up. He doesn't need violence. Softening meds are the ticket. You don't want bricks and bellowing. Smooth whimpers for a bit are the best you can hope for. This isn't a laughing matter to him. So check for inappropriate cards at the store. He'll treasure them more later. | ||
| Zac4mac |
I went that route a few years back. My first BM after surgery was the size of a pea and I was screaming at any deity I could, as I slammed 2 Percodans with a double-shot of whiskey. After that pain went away tho, I now feel it was well worth it. Z | ||
| 86129squids |
+1. He said that if he could've grabbed a gun, he would've put himself out of the misery. NOT good. Given that he had put off things for WAY too long, his surgery had to be fairly extensive. I've heard from several peeps that even though the recovery is excruciatingly painful, once it's over life is a LOT better. In the meantime, I'm hating it SOOO much by proxy... got a very mild case of the H's now myself, weirdly, and CAN'T IMAGINE the pain he's dealing with. Hoot, et al, FWIW here's what I'm hoping will show up tomorrow... http://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-320-Non-Elect ric/dp/B00A0RX2UI?ie=UTF8&psc=1&redirect=true&ref_ =oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00 Thanks for all the good advice- except for you, Tom, ya jackhole...  | ||
| Etennuly |
Consuming about 25% more water than one wants to drink will help. Senna natural laxative pills are pretty much non violent, and can be taken in fairly large(as required)quantities if needed. Just before launch a shot of the "clear stuff" will distract if nothing else. | ||
| 86129squids |
Ben-Gay?! I'd like to see him anesthetized properly when he's dropping the kids off at the pool... Otherwise, I've got some ideas for a "Hell Raiser" sequel... | ||
| Etennuly |
Keep the 'Ben-gay' out of the picture! It would be a disaster to get that on ones wiping hand to bleed through some TP! He'd have to call the fire department!   | ||
| Crusty |
Well; while it's true that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that hemorrhoids are a pain in the ass, most constipated people just don't give a shit. (yeah; it's no laughing matter to the poor bastard who had the surgery, but after seeing Ben-Gay reference, I realized that it's OK to crack a joke about it) | ||
| Aesquire |
The "problem" is better solved with softeners than pressure. Bulk style laxatives, like Metamucil, provide fiber to increase the bulk of output. Not what's needed here. Laxatives that crank up the muscle contractions to move the cargo are also not needed here. Post surgical constipation is a combination of dehydration and paralysis of the involuntary internal muscles by the anesthesia and the opiate pain killers. The pain meds can keep the problem going for days past the usual 2-3 day wait. In your buddy's case he's got a combination, and a real good reason NOT to crank up bulk or pressure, so stool softeners and a bit of patience is the key. For him far better squirts and living near the can than logs and bricks. Hydration, as mentioned above, is also vital. Understand the bottom part of the digestive tract is designed to pull the water out of your output. So you are fighting the natural system, just by drinking more. ( in fact in an emergency, poor quality water is "safer" uses as an enema instead of drinking it, as your system will absorb the water and filter out many contaminates. Not metals and viruses unfortunately, so boiling before "application" is suggested... I've never tried this, and am content to leave it theoretical ) | ||
| Etennuly |
That is the great thing about natural Senna pills. They work by increasing water absorption in the bowel. Drs told me for my condition take as many as needed when a flair up occurs, but "I didn't say that and I don't want to hear about how much, wink wink". Probiotcs help a great deal also. Who here would say they feared to "crack" a joke about a problem most people back into!  | ||
| Pwnzor |
Tell him to listen to one of Obama's speeches... that ought to get those bowels empty in a hurry. Works for me every time, turns my guts to liquid. | ||
| Court |
Plus ..... Any pain will pale in comparison to watching a neighborhood organizer try to act like a leader. | ||
| Figorvonbuellingham |
When I had back pain from a ruptured disc that pain killers couldn't touch, my doctor told me to take two 500mg Motrin and two extra strength Tylenol, with food. That combo really helped. I was so numb I couldn't feel my dick. Dunno about my ass hole though, didn't try feeling it. | ||
| 86129squids |
"I realized that it's OK to crack a joke about it" Good on ya for punnin'... Vern, thanks for the tip on Senna. We're having a time keeping on him to drink his water, so that's good to know. We were just discussing what to do for dinner- my sweetie has cooked chicken noodle soup, beef noodle soup, red beans/rice/greens/kielbasa (THAT was what "uncorked" him the first time)... I'm craving some shrimp, veggies and pasta, believe we'll do that this evening. If anyone here has some other good ideas about what to feed him (NO corn, NO hot sauce, NO dairy), holla. | ||
| Aesquire |
No popcorn. No nuts. But by all means buy a bag of crackerjacks and threaten him with them ! Try fruit juices. Hard to stomach water sometimes. You always hear how coffee and caffeinated drinks don't replenish water. Because they stimulate urination. Only partly true. Over twenty years dealing with heat issues while camping, fencing ( layers of cloth armor ) and rattan fighting ( armor & padding ) in mid summer have shown me you need about one & a half pints of coffee to get one pint of water into a human. So a 20 oz. bottle of coke etc. Is still a 12 oz. Net gain. (Message edited by aesquire on May 23, 2016) | ||
| Sifo |
I'm glad to not have any personal experience with this, but don't they make suppositories for this sort of stuff? Perhaps some Vaseline would also help. I would hope that the paperwork they released him with would offer some of the best advice though. | ||
| Teeps |
Cityxslicker Posted on Sunday, May 22, 2016 - A table spoon full of olive oil 1/2 hour before every meal. Castor oil... for that old school 2 stroke race track smell. | ||
| Aesquire |
Also the authentic WW1 fighter ace effect. The rotary engines in, for example, the Sopwith Camel, used a total loss oiling system, and castor oil. Sitting in a castor oil mist behind the engine, pilots often had ONE thought on landing, and it wasn't reporting in. One reason for the scarves and brandy was considered the proper preventative. Even if you didn't eat the oil mist it was absorbed through the skin & lungs and had the same bracing effect. | ||
| Teeps |
Cheers, Aesquire. I did not know that! | ||
| Dwardo |
I had the same situation. I actually found that the best thing was to have a hot bath after every BM. Otherwise nothing really helped. The best thing is to realize that it will end eventually. What was funny was my surgeon gave a pamphlet touting a new procedure they had that was supposed to be much less painful. It had a picture of a happy couple riding a bicycle on the cover. Well, if anybody could ride a bike after that ... | ||
| Fast1075 |
Just don't mistake Ambesol for Anusol!!!! | ||
| Etennuly |
Keep the beans and greens away for a while. Gas and fiber are not for this SIT- uation! Unspiced chicken, applesauce, and simple plain white bread. |
