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Johnboy777
Posted on Sunday, September 07, 2008 - 11:50 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

I always thought I knew funny; now I'm not so sure, anymore.

I heard this joke at a recent office party this past week, and thought is was just great, I mean really funny (come to think of it, I was the only one that laughed) - then I told it to a few people (including my wife and the girl that cuts my hair) and nothing. Zillch!

As I was thinking about this joke over the last few days, I flaskbacked to what Cynthia Bates wrote on my yearbook, years ago...."John, may God Bless, don't ever lose your sense of humor". All this time, I never realized you could lose it. So you can see my concern, with all of this.

Opinions, please.

...........................

A woman walks into the doctor’s office, and says, “Doctor I’ve been off work, sick in bed, for two weeks".

The doctor says, “what do you do"?

The woman says, “I’m a prostitute".

The Doctor looks her over and says, “here, take this, you’ll be back on your knees in no time".


......................

Well ...anybody?

.
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Electraglider_1997
Posted on Sunday, September 07, 2008 - 12:07 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

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Geopatr
Posted on Sunday, September 07, 2008 - 01:07 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

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Court
Posted on Sunday, September 07, 2008 - 01:09 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

If you heard that at an office party someone may have a great sense of humor but they're not too bright . . . that'd get you fired without delay in most firms.
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Froggy
Posted on Sunday, September 07, 2008 - 02:33 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

I thought it was funny, but yea obviously like all jokes with sexual references, there is a time and place for it.
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Johnboy777
Posted on Sunday, September 07, 2008 - 03:03 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Oh Christ, now all of you 'Politically Correct' brain-washed types are going to ring in, aping what you 'think' you're supposed to say, in this situation, or that situation, and pat each other on the backs.

Just F*cking Great!

.
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Danger_dave
Posted on Sunday, September 07, 2008 - 03:44 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

I don't think it's a PC issue. Just taint that funny really.
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Johnboy777
Posted on Sunday, September 07, 2008 - 04:39 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Oh hell, Danger Dave, maybe it lost something in the translation - try this:

A Sheila wulks into a doctor’s office all cheesed off, and says, “G'day Doc, I’ve bean off werk, sick een bed, for two weeks".

Doc says, “easy on, Sheila, what do you do"?

Sheila says, “I’m a prostitute".

Doc looks her up 'n down, and sez, “here, take this, she'll be apples, Sheila, you’ll be back on your knees in no time".

Sheila says, "Onya Doc"

.
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Danger_dave
Posted on Sunday, September 07, 2008 - 06:14 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

An older man approached an attractive younger woman at a shopping mall.

'Excuse me; I can't seem to find my wife. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?'

The woman, feeling compassion for the old fellow, said, 'Of course, sir. Do you know where your wife might be?'

'I have no idea, but every time I talk to a woman with tits like yours, she seems to appear out of nowhere.'
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Danger_dave
Posted on Sunday, September 07, 2008 - 06:15 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Everything is funnier is Aussie. :-)
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Svh
Posted on Sunday, September 07, 2008 - 06:23 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

The Aussie version is funnier. Like them both though
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Danger_dave
Posted on Sunday, September 07, 2008 - 08:41 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

>>Sheila says, “I’m a prostitute". <<

According to google it would be a

'Mallee root'

Although I've never heard it used.

http://www.dagree.net/aussieslang/slang_m.html


She would be 'A mole' or 'A pro' in the vernacular.
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Jphish
Posted on Sunday, September 07, 2008 - 09:18 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Johnboy - Yeah...that would pretty well be a career staller (like being in perpetual skip mode) if not an ender, at most places I've worked. A polite chuckle was all I could muster out of it anyway. So...no, not REAL funny. I still like the chicken, horse, Harley story though. (I suppose one could substitute Buell here) But as funny as it may be, I wouldn't be sharing it with my admin assistant at work...or at an office party. Rule of thumb for todays litigious work environment: If ya wouldn't put it in a memo, ya probably better not put it in words either.
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Jphish
Posted on Sunday, September 07, 2008 - 09:22 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

PS - Of course that only goes for the US - don't know the tolerance level for such in other parts of the world.
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Choyashi
Posted on Sunday, September 07, 2008 - 10:53 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

My internist referred me to a female urologist. I saw her yesterday and she
is gorgeous. She's beautiful and unbelievably sexy. She told me that I
have to stop masturbating. I asked her why and she said, 'Because I'm
trying to examine you...'
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Danger_dave
Posted on Sunday, September 07, 2008 - 11:19 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

'If the woman isn't comfortable seeing you masturbate - she shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus.'
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Cityxslicker
Posted on Monday, September 08, 2008 - 03:01 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Gawd, next you will all be disparaging how you can tell the Head Nurse at the Hospital.... She is the one with the holes in nylons at the knees.


Lord forgive me and be with the starvin pigmees down in New Guinea
(this is normally where the pic of Barry the Bueller Guy goes, but I am on the cr@ptastic Win Box at home, so imagine it in your heads)
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Zynthaxx
Posted on Monday, September 08, 2008 - 05:05 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

@Johnboy777: It's definitely a joke, and it works here in Sweden too. Actually my wife laughed out loud at it. Note, however that none of us are very PC, nor do we take ourselves or our respective genders very seriously.
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Blk_uly
Posted on Tuesday, September 09, 2008 - 01:17 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

have you guys heard about the new antidepressant for lesbians it's called tri-dicagain.
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Electraglider_1997
Posted on Tuesday, September 09, 2008 - 07:26 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Now that's really funny BlK_uly.
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Johnboy777
Posted on Wednesday, September 10, 2008 - 03:14 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

A lesbian frog to her girlfriend, "I guess we really do taste like chicken"

.
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Blk_uly
Posted on Wednesday, September 10, 2008 - 06:22 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

What do you get when you cross a donkey & an onion? An a## so sweet it brings tears to your eyes!
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Mad_doctor
Posted on Monday, September 15, 2008 - 04:33 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Kind of reminds me of the two gay Irishmen, Patrick fitzgerald, Gerald fitzpatrick.
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