| Author | Message | ||
     Cj_xb |
ZERO GRAVITY When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens Would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C. The Russians used a pencil. Enjoy paying your taxes--they're due again ! | ||
| Bluzm2 |
CJ, Not sure if that's true (seriously doubt it). Back in the NASA heydays of the 70's John Q Publik could buy a "Astronaut Pen" from Fisher for about $15.00 They worked up side down and under water. They used a pressurized cartrage of some sort. I used to have one, it was pretty neat. Also, I wouldn't want to be the one to have to use a pen in an area that was 300 C. Me thinks you may spontainiously combust! They have gone up a bit in price since then, here's a link if ya want one! http://www.thewritersedge.com/fisher.astronaut.cfm Brad | ||
| Bartimus |
Bluzm2, CJ is on the right track, NASA did spend big $$$ developing a pen to write with. Russia was smart and just used a pencil. ha ha ha That sounds so typical. I worked for NASA for 12 years doing R&D on the Orbital Maneuvering Engines (OMS) and the Main engines back in the 80's and early 90's. It is amazing what they will spend $$$ on. And why not? It's not their money, it was ours!!! | ||
| Bluzm2 |
Bartimus, Check out www.spacepens.com neat history of the astro pens. Fisher developed the pen in the 50's, NASA started using them in 1968 after a two year test period. | ||
| Cj_xb |
Guys, I put this under a JOKE thread, I just thought the idea behind it was funny as hell !! Doesn't matter about the pens, you get the idea !! CJ  | ||
| Fiery_xb |
CJ, That just makes it even funnier.  LMAO Fiery | ||
| Dasxb9s |
CJ... You are not seeing the big picture!!! Being a non-government employee... you don't understand the complexities of it all... as to the pen... ink can't be easily erased to alter government documents at a later time... thus making a "permanent record" for science and historical purposes, what if the US Constitution had been written in pencil... think of what may have been altered over the course of history by a militant radical and a common eraser. A permanent record is something the Russians can't do with their pencil... plus it would be necessary to also acquire pencil sharpeners which adds cost to their solution. Air filtration systems would have to be maintained more often due to the debris created by the eraser particles becoming airborne in the weightless environment... and the cost of additional erasers as we all know the eraser is usually consumed before the full pencil is consumed... then there is the waste disposal of the small remainder of the pencil consisting of the metal band which holds the eraser and the remaining wood when the pencil is too short to use further. Though the pencil adds insignificant weight to the flight cargo limits... the addition of sharpeners, air filtration equipment, supplement erasers, and waste of what is not consumed impacts on the weight cargo limit that could better be spent on scientific payload or deploy-able payload... thus wasting precious cargo limits! Then consider pilferage... by employees and politicians wanting a memento of their contact with the space program. If you have a crew of 7... then only 7 pens would be needed and easy to account for... however a box of pencils with the NASA Space Shuttle logo would quickly be pilfered... thus preventing a record to be maintained once a crew member consumed the usable portion of the pencil... and then discovered the spares had been pilfered. Add the cost of ground security needed to prevent the loss of valuable item... "data recording device, wood construction, with attached deletion device, pencil, one each". The space pen is the perfect solution to the real issue... and not the short sighted solution the Russians accepted to cause collateral cost to other systems impacted. Plus the fact that the majority of pencils are a foreign product... and the cost to produce a made in America pencil would skyrocket the cost of each pencil... making the expense to produce an American pencil cost prohibitive... not to further consider the U.S. workers in the pen factories impacted by a non-US product being used by the government... thus losing more US job to foreign workers... causing labor problems... strikes... lost jobs... a negative impact on the US economy. I have heard these arguments about the cost of things such as the NASA pen... and you don't understand that these things are custom build to government specifications. I once questioned the expense of such contract items until I started using these items. Through government requisition I obtained a "carpenters" hammer... at the cost of $375.00 from our office budget. I went to Kmart and bought what APPEARED to be an identical hammer for $3.99. I took a common 4x4 post and drove a large nail into said 4x4, and I had to hit the nail 12 times. On the same 4x4 using the a nail from the same box... I drove the nail with the procured hammer from the federal supply schedule. I was amazed!!! I only had to hit that nail 3 times to drive it to the head... THERE IS A DIFFERENCE!!! The cost saving of decreased labor justified the cost of such items!!! I am sure you all know what an elephant is... ...it is a mouse built to government specifications!!! | ||
| Cj_xb |
Holy Cow !!!  | ||
| M1combat |
Thank you CJ... A good joke thread . So Das... Do the govt. toilets flush better than others? Do THEY keep permanent record? Can they be used upside down or in a zero G environment? What about dust particles? Do you still get that "cloud" of bad smelling air with them or is there a Mil-Spec fart filtering device associated with the toilet? :P | ||
| Mikej |
Oh please don't bring up the subject of astronaut sanitation, please don't. | ||
| Spiderman |
There is actually a camera in the space shuttle's toilet so you can make sure you are "Docking" properly. LOL | ||
| Dasxb9s |
CJ... When ever you need the federal government explained to you... just drop me a line... I gave you the short answer. I did not go into the aspects of trying to sharpen a pencil while space walking... or the hazards of a puncture of a pressure suit from the sharp point... or the issues of the construction of said pencil being made out of a combustible material in an oxygen rich environment... I could go on!!!!!! M1 Since you asked.... The toilets in the cells are heavy duty stainless steel and cost about $2500.00 each (installation not included) in the courthouse I work at there are about 28 spread throughout the detention areas. So that is about $70,000.00, thank you tax payers. I am sure that the employee toilets are slightly less... and they flush oh so silently... emitting a pleasant "spring fresh" aroma... sounding like a peaceful waterfall... making it a most pleasant experience one could dream of... HOWEVER... the toilet paper is made by the Acme Sandpaper and Abrasive Company... too coarse to be used to smooth the bondo on your car restoration. It could be placed on a Dewalt angle grinder... and you would never have to replace it... as the grinder would wear out before the toilet paper would ever smooth out! The paper towels are produce by an anti corrosion surfacing company... you could take a case and drop it into the Mariana trench... let it sit there for a thousand years... be recovered to only find it had absorbed not one drop of water... it's like trying to dry your hands with a piece of titanium! | ||
| Sbelleque |
I heard the developers of the toilet used in the space program had to find a way to condense the solid waste, one of the designs had a small impeller in the outlet tube that would liquify any solid wastes...kinda like a smoothy....so in the space program the shit can and will hit the fan hopefully on a regular basis | ||
| Aesquire |
Russian jet fighters are built to send back the engines to the factory, very frequently. They don't do more than simple work in the field. In space, a k-mart relay will weld itself shut (vacuum welding) the U.S. solution was to develop relays that work in vacuum, & are real light. (gold contacts!) The Soviet solution was to put the relay in an airtight metal can. This required the U.S.S.R. to make bigger boosters, & scale up the difficulty & cost of the whole missle/space program. The U.S. milspec system buys hardware that masses less than the paperwork. Weigh the documentation of all the parts & I'll bet you an aircraft carrier masses less. | ||
| Blublak |
Uh.. Would that be an unladen aircraft carrier or a fully outfitted and crewed vessel.. after all, you know that there is quite a change. I've seen a lot of govt. paperwork in my job as well.. Good Lord! Twenty Five pages on how to seal and unseal letters and packages.. hehehehehe.. God you gotta love it huh? Later, | ||
| Lake_bueller |
Makes more sense to me to use one of these . . . . . . . . . .  | ||
| Phillyblast |
Don't tell me you guys are goig after TO too! (speaking of jokes) | ||
| Aesquire |
Sharpies outgas. I'll take a $15 space pen over a drunk/sick/dead space station crew. Felt tips don't work in vacuum either. edited by aesquire on March 11, 2004 | ||
| Dullorb |
The unladen aircraft carrier, would that be African or European. | ||
| Oldguy |
Das - That was a hammer you bought at K-Mart. The tool you procured through the Federal stock system was an inertial driving device for inter-fibrous friction fasteners. The government would never waste the taxpayers money on such a mundane item as a hammer. Nor would they require a government employee to use such a common device. | ||
| Blublak |
Dull... What is your favorite color? Heheheheheeh.. We'd better stop before we start singing about lumber jacks and other things that will weird out some of the other members of this board.. LOL.. Later, | ||
| Bartimus |
see what you started CJ ??? | ||
| Cj_xb |
And to think, I thought everyone would add their own jokes !! CJ | ||
| Mikej |
Ya try to be serious and everyone gets funny, ya try to be funny and everyone gets serious. Kinda frustrating, ain't it.  That reminds me of a song someone I knew a long time ago used to sing around the campfire at the fishing/biking camps, it went something like this:  "I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay...." I'll depart now before someone throws a Yorkshire brick at me.  | ||
| Tripp |
lol, "sleeps all night and he works all day, wears high heels and a bra"!!! good one mike have'nt heard that in many years! | ||
| Bomber |
Jerry! Dude! Where ya been, man? | ||
| Cj_xb |
NEW WORDS FOR 2004 Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a Cube farm and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiney. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The J-Lo and Ben wedding(or not) was a prime example. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again. 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found" meaning that the requested document could not be located. OHNOSECOND: That miniscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously farting while passing through a Cube Farm. | ||
| M1combat |
oooh, cropdusting sounds fun... too bad we have no cube farm around here... | ||
| Hootowl |
There you go... http://www.schemp.net:82/lumberjack.wav | ||
| Hootowl |
A little boy caught his dad putting on a condom one night and asked him what he was doing. The father looked around with embarrassment, and finally settled on a response. "I'm trying to catch a mouse" To which the boy replied: "What are you going to do when you catch it? F%#k it? |
