| Author | Message | ||
     Rainman |
Hey, I wanna join! I had my tonsils out and got a real bad papercut on my tongue sending out a mass-mailing for the local conservation group opposed to a new shopping mall! | ||
| Pammy |
"The guys that do it standing pass, the guys that do it squatting fail." "Evidently some people believe you have to buy (and wear) the Harley Davidson panties at the same time you buy your Buell." Not a guy, but I am a "squatter". Also, I do wear panties...burlap or not.(alot of you newer guys won't get that) I work on my own bike, without whining(or throwing tools, it's how you can tell I am NOT a man). I actually find it meditation-like at times. I had some extrordinary challenges with the Yellow Beast, got pissed off, got over it, upgraded it and moved along. Oh and as for what the body will endure... and I have mentioned it before. Twice I have done this...carry a live squirming being for several months and then deliver said being through a passage WAY too small for afore mentioned delivery.... Someone contact the resident Mom(Kristi/Ulywife) she'll give me a big ol' AMEN!(no pun intended) Ha Ha Ha, you start that petition, Dave and I'll be one of the first to sign it! No whiners(or weiners) | ||
| Spiderman |
I rode a S1 over 650 miles in one day, then drank 20 PBR's. Woke up at 7am and headed to East Troy! Can I too be an instructor?  | ||
| No_rice |
i wonder if thats what i had between my toes when i was younger. i just kept cutting and pulling the thing off when i took a bath. talk about a bloody mess. i wasnt about to tell anyone i had an extra toe growing on my foot! one time after i ripped it out it just never came back. it sure was down inside there. more about the dog bite... the dog bite was actually one of my wolves. the female was in heat, i was in his way, he got pissed and decided to try and move me. atleast thats what i figure started it. the ex wife had the female on a leash and i had the male. the female was alot calmer when the male left her alone so we had them split while we were walking them. my leash got tight as we were walking and i turned to see what was up. i caught a quick flash and i swung at somthing by reflex. that something was my wolf. i caught him full speed with my fist in his head, but not before he managed to split me from about the middle of my cheek, around my chin and part way down my throat. obviously you know what he was going for. all i saw was a little spray of blood and no pain so i thought he just nicked me. he hit the ground and as he was trying to get to his feet again he bit me in my side. i have some holes where the eye teeth went in. he didnt get a good hold because i swung at him again. caught him right in the eye and ended up apparently breaking 3 of my knuckles on his head, atleast i think thats when i did that. he hit the ground again and this time when he jumped at me i put my left arm infront of my face. he got a damn good bite on that. if you look at an exray of my forearm and wrist you can see where his eye teeth took chuncks out of the bone. i kept puching him in the head and he just kept shaking my arm around and wouldnt let go. so i ended up dragging him almost a block back to my house by the bone in my arm. if you know how hard iot is to drag a dog with planted feet by his leash think about that for a minute. now by the time i made it to my garage i was completely pissed. not scared as i probably should have been. i pulled him halfway through the walk in door of my garage and slammed his head in it a few times but nothing. i even picked my arm up and swing it at my garage wall knocking a hole in it. the funny part is that proved to me even more what adrenalin can do. i piccked that wolf off of the ground by my forearm and swung him. litteraly the day before i was barely able to pick him up with both arms around him. i had tried to guage his weight compared to my english mastiff. the wolf made my mastiff look small and thats hard to do. i drug him past the kennel where my old american rott was. JJ was flipping out and banging against the kennel. i thought hey... JJ will go after him and he will let go. so i started opening the gate. then i stopped and thought, man JJ is like 12 years old and tired. even if he does get the wolf to let go the wolf will kill JJ and then be running loose. so i just shut the get and dragged him up the porch steps and into the entry way. now during this time my (now ex) wife had gone to find a gun. she has never held, loaded, or shot a gun before or since so it was a hard thing in itself. i had the wolf pinned up against the wall in a corner while i had to explain to her how to load my 12 guage. she gets a shell in and is about 2 foot away when i keep hereing the gun go click click. i am yelling for her to stop. the shell's she would have had to have put in were bird shot. at 2 foot that thing would take part of me with it. i got lucky because she hadnt figured out the saftey. i explained to her how to turn it off and told her to shove the barrel right against his side. she did, and boom! right in the heart. now my problem was i was so tangled up in the leashe i couldnt do anything and my left arm didnt work to help me with that. she got me untangled and called an ambulance. the whole time im telling her to hang up because i wasnt going(dumb)! finally i looked at the floor and noticed the puddle of blood that i was leaving on my carpet. i started bitching about that and made her open the door so i could go outside and bleed in the snow, lol. it took 45 minutes for the ambulance to make it the 8 blocks to my house. another hour and a half for the doctor to show up at the emergancy room(isnt there a reason its called an EMERGENCY ROOM?!!) during that wait at the hospital i got up and walked out once until my dad and stepdad informed me that i would be in even worse shap if i didnt get back in there. i even got to watch a nurse put her fingers in my mouth and stick them out the side of my face. that was a little different. man i rambled alot, and miss spelled plenty but im tired of typing lol | ||
| Tq_freak |
I once clipped off a skin tag mole with toe nail clippers. I don't recommend that haha FT, I thought I was the only one to ever do that. damn did it hurt and the damn thing came back. So I did it again and have been good since then. | ||
| Danger_dave |
>>Ha Ha Ha, you start that petition, Dave and I'll be one of the first to sign it! << The warrior princesses will be exalted in the new order. | ||
| Socoken |
Dry ice works great for removing warts. Its cheap and easy to get. I was going to post about how I shot a framing nail into my hand at work the other day, and just pulled it out with a pliers and went on working and no one noticed, but after reading No Rice's story, I wont. That is an incredible story, especially the part where you slammed his head in the door. Thats a tough sumumabitch there. | ||
| Danger_dave |
A few solid days surfing in the pacific ocean gets rid of warts too. | ||
| Danger_dave |
And before the conversation inevitable moves to other bodily functions lets's just remember there are ladies here too orrright. Make the statement and they will come, oh yes, they will come.  | ||
| New12r |
Damn Tim! I thought getting chewed up by 2 German Shepards was rough, but I got nothin on that. I have had 6 concussions Gone through a windshield of a Mustang Broken my neck More road rash than I can recall So many stitches I have lost count A few broken teeth Sprains and jams and the such. 1 torn ligament I got more but whew, I am gonna stop for now. | ||
| Thumper74 |
I met a really cute woman at BestBuy a couple weeks who had broken her hand playing videogames. How hardcore is that? To be fair, it was tennis on the WII system and she whacked her hand on a bookshelf. I've got tons of scars from mountain biking, but nothing major. | ||
| Ft_bstrd |
Great story NR! Odd that the greatest plague to modern man has become the removal of plantar warts (in odd and disturbing ways).  I also CAN'T STAND errant nose hairs. I keep a Swiss Army knife in my call at all times and use the tweezers from it to pluck them out while I drive, little bastards. Some of them are like an inch long, and I swear they have gray matter attached to the end. I have been known to use a set of needle nose pliers if they're handy. | ||
| Thumper74 |
I hate seeing people with errant nose hairs, it looks like there is a spider crawling out of their nose. | ||
| Rick_a |
I rode a real clip-on (not those over the triple tree wanna-bee's) and rearset shod S1 1500 miles from North to South in three days across these fine United States during the fall. My luggage included a pair of dry socks, wallet, and .45 Auto. As many times as I've wrecked screwing around on the Buell, I only have nightmares of car crashes (with the wife driving  ). As many times as I've hurt her mechanically, I always bring her back a little bit stronger. I too, have taken to small surgeries unto myself (I didn't know moles can bleed for days) and have also shot a 16 penny nail completely into my hand with an air-nailer and soldiered on (them metal barbs really hold on, too). I've also pierced myself over a dozen times 'cause I don't like spending the money on something I can do myself. The one thing I regret is not having my ribs looked after that I broke as a kid. Them things have never been right since. Ah well. I'm the only one I know of that's walked off a blown knee (took about 4 months). I figured the tennis ball sized fluid pocket was probably not a good thing, but being able to walk somewhat meant it'd probably be ok eventually. I had walked on two over-extended knees as a kid so I figured I could get over it. Hell, I could go on forever, but that'll do for now. I must be becoming a P*ssy as I will be relegating the S1 as a track bike as soon as I can afford the supermoto of my dreams. | ||
| Freezerburn |
So the question No Rice, is it also No Wolves? That is one nasty tale. | ||
| Ulynut |
Down with the whiners!!! Great idea DangerDave! | ||
| Ft_bstrd |
I'd love to have been inside that dog's head. "Yeah, Dad, I'm the bad ass. I'm still clamped onto your arm. Whatya gonna do about it? I'm a bad ass, I'm a bad ass, I'm a...hey what's that thing Mom has?" | ||
| Buellinachinashop |
"I say the plantars wart and subsequent removal was worse than my broken collar bone AND appendicitis rolled into one." I removed Plantars warts on my feet with a bobbie pin and tweezers. Took me an hour on each foot to dig them out. When I got down to the fleshy core, I pulled the rest out with tweezers. | ||
| No_rice |
nope! i still have my wolf Arctic that i have had for many years. he was around before and is still around after. he has had to put up with a black bear cub, cougar, and a lynx along the way also. as well as many other dogs. i watched him have my german rott and my mastiff backed into a corner one day when they thought they would gang up on him. that was entertaining. i never even got into getting jumped during highschool one night by a guy with a baseball bat. needless to say when you get blind sided by a bat to the side of the head you hit the ground fast. but when you stand back up with blood running from your nose, mouth, and ear and start swinging as your swearing everyone starts to run. including your friends! lmao! he ended up in the hospital instead of me. that did do some long term damage to my head though. i have had problems with my ear ever since. lets not forget the voices.... or the constantly shaking hands. i got lucky. i know a guy that got hit in the head by a bat and ended up in a coma for 3 months. that seemed to be the weapon of choice when we were younger and you didnt resort to bullets. most of my friends never thought id turn 21 much less 30. some mornings when i try to get up i kind of wonder what id feel like if i took it easier growing up. the thing is, i really am pretty laid back and easy going. | ||
| Mikexlr650 |
norice, damn, i've been around schutzhund dogs for years and can just imagine the clamping force that wolf must have had. if you've never seen what a large canine is capable of you can't imagine what old fido can do to tissue and bone. | ||
| Pammy |
"The warrior princesses will be exalted in the new order." Hey, that would be great on my new card.... Maybe we can just ridicule the whiners individually...A little dogpiling goes a long way.  | ||
| Old_man |
Buellinachinashop We're both self surgeons, I once removed a helmet cyst from my forehead with a razor and a flat blade screwdriver. | ||
| Jlnance |
I once clipped off a skin tag mole with toe nail clippers. I don't recommend that I attempted that with wire cutters. The thing was way up on my inner thigh, where it's nice and sensitive. I thought I'd just snip it off and it wouldn't be a big deal. I started to squeeze the cutters and all of a sudden I'm laying on the floor in agony. As the pain subsides, a thought enters my mind: Numb it with ice. Works great. Can't feel a thing and it doesn't bleed either. Now standard procedure for my self surgeries. | ||
| Madduck |
Thought to remember, when you have a large vicious dog hanging off of one arm, pick it up as high as you can and punch it in the chest with your free hand. the shards of ribs will kill it faster than a shotgun blast and it will let go. Ribs are very weak and brittle, and yes I've tryed it at home and it still hurts like hell once in awhile. | ||
| Slaughter |
I suppose I'm in touch with my feminine side. That being said, I've gone racing with broken feet and broken hands. Refused morphine in the ER with broken ribs and cracked vertebrae (it WAS a bitch being moved into the CT scan, I gotta say) I pee sitting down when it's dark or I'm tired - because I also have to clean the bathroom floor... and frankly I don't like the sensation of the piss splattering on my legs. Ditto for the water-filled flushing stand-up-pissers at work. Maybe you guys can't manage a strong enough of stream to splash or maybe you really do like splattering your legs and pants - or mebbe its jes dat yer wimmenz does yer cleanin fer yas... | ||
| Danger_dave |
My boy 'Tarzan' was attacked by a mad pit bull. Survived by ramming his thumbs into its eyes and throwing it 10' over a fence. | ||
| Jlnance |
When I was young and had no sense ... I was drilling holes in a piece of sheet metal for a project I was working on. All of a sudden I feel an electric shock. I distinctly remember thinking "I can't be getting shocked, this is a double insulated drill." Then I realize I've drilled a hole through my finger. I'm bleeding on the floor. I get it fixed and call a friend to drive me to the hospital. Well my parents weren't home when this happened. I wasn't home the next day when they got back from their trip. But I hadn't cleaned the blood up. So mom walks into a house with no son and lots of blood. She wasn't pleased. | ||
| Buellerandy |
I've handled a full size wolf hybrid...a punch to the ribs will only piss it off. Will it let go? Possibly, but the next time it will make sure not to confuse your arm for your neck. I remember one day playing fetch with him, he'd make you work to get the ball from him. But if you started getting too rough for his liking, he'd come back with a good size stick and break it between his jaws just to remind you that he isn't some ankle biter. Very intelligent creatures. (Message edited by buellerandy on December 20, 2007) | ||
| Igneroid |
Pammy wrote: Twice I have done this...carry a live squirming being for several months and then deliver said being through a passage WAY too small for afore mentioned delivery.... Hahah. Carol Burnette said the best way to describe childbirth is to grab your bottom lip firmly with both hands.......and stretch said lip over your head. Women are tuff!! | ||
| Slaughter |
+1 to Pammy and women If men had to suffer childbirth, civilization would end in one generation. |
