| Author | Message | ||
     Wolfridgerider |
Sitting together on a train was Obama, a Texan, a little old lady, and a young blonde girl with large breasts. The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap.. When the train emerges from the tunnel, Obama has a bright red hand print on his cheek. No one speaks. The old lady thinks: Obama must have groped the blonde in the dark, and she slapped him. The blonde girl thinks: Obama must have tried to grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled the old lady and she slapped him. Obama thinks: The Texan must have groped the blonde in the dark. She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead. The Texan thinks: I can't wait for another tunnel, so I can slap the shit out of Obama again. | ||
| Road_thing |
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| Notpurples2 |
I don't get it. Why does the mexican want to slap Obama? | ||
| Jumbo_petite |
Wolf and Not purple. You are both funny!!!! | ||
| Hootowl |
"Why does the mexican want to slap Obama?" For smuggling guns into Mexico? Why are there Mexicans in Texas? Do you mean hispanics? Hate to break it to you friend, but he's still a Texan. Texas was full of Mexicans until Texas broke away from Mexico, and they all became Texans. Texas later became a state and they all became Americans too. If you live in Texas and call yourself a Mexican, you probably should think about repatriating yourself. | ||
| Madav8tr |
Funny to not funny/political in just over 3 hours  | ||
| Notpurples2 |
I "lived" in Houston for about a year. Meaning I was there about one weekend a month when I wasn't working. I lived in overwhelmingly hispanic neighborhood. Some of the locals thought I was crazy to live there but I was never worried. I was more worried driving through a "ghetto" in mississippi than I ever was to live in a "ghetto" in texas. So to get back to the funny here's another texas political joke. In the fall of 2000 a group of Texans are driving down the road, whooping it up, drinking beer when they get into an accident with bus load of nuns, killing everyone. So the Texans go straight to Hell. When they arrive the Devil is shocked to see that they are not in agony and he demands an explanation. "Well, sir, we're from Texas, and we're used to the heat," says one. This infuriates the Devil and he cranks the thermostat up to its highest setting. The lost souls all over hell start wailing. "I'll check on them in the morning and see how they like THIS." He snorts and disappears in a ball of fire. The next morning, the Devil shows up at the Texans' camp site, and sure enough they are showing some signs of discomfort. They have taken off their 10 Gallon hats and are fanning themselves. One has even rolled up his sleeves. "Well, sir," explains a Texan, "when you have been on a cattle drive in Lubbock during August, this ain't hardly nothing." The Devil is now so angry he is seeing red. "Those damn Texans seem immune to heat, let 's see what happens when I turn OFF the heat," he says as he heads to the thermostat. "I'll check on them tomorrow." So in the morning the Devil arrives at the Texans' campsite, and they are all whoopin' and hollerin' and drinkin' the beers from the ice chest in the back of the pick up, now that they have ice to chill them with. The wail of the lost souls is deafening but the Texans are partyin' like there is no tomorrow. "I don't get it," the Devil says, completely defeated. "I tried to roast you and it had no effect, and then I tried to freeze you and you are partying. You Texans are made of tough stuff. But why are you celebrating?" A Texan takes a swig from his beer and replies, "Look around! Hell is frozen over. That's just gotta mean there is another Bush in the White House." | ||
| Pwnzor |
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| Leftcoastal |
I was under the impression that a "Texan" was basically a Mexican that was trying to get to Oklahoma, and ran out of gas. Was I mistaken? | ||
| Mr_grumpy |
A Texan rancher is on vacation in Ireland, tracing his roots, when he stops in a village pub for a drink. "Who's the biggest landowner in these parts?" he bellows. A small fellow sitting in the corner looks up & says "That's probably me, I own the biggest farm around here." "How much you got?" asks the rancher, "Ooh pretty big, getting on for 500 acres" comes the reply. "But that's tiny" bursts out the Texan, "Why my ranch is so big I can drive in a straight line all day & still stay on my own land" Taking a swig from his pint the Irishman says "I know what you mean, I had a car like that too." | ||
| Moxnix |
Why is Texas so big? No one else wanted it. How do they do with dead cowboys in Texas? Drain the b.s. out and bury them in a matchbox. Man, I had to reach back in history for those 2 Texas jokes. |
