| Author | Message | ||
     Crusty |
In less than 72 hours, my life has gone totally haywire. On Wednesday evening, my wife announced unexpectedly that she was moving out this weekend. We only have one car, and she's taking it, so it's going to be rough getting around for the next month or so, 'till the weather breaks. We both signed the mortgage, and we owe more on the house than it's presently worth. Without her income, I can't make the payments, so I have to consult with an attorney to determine my best course of action. Short sale? Bankruptcy? I don't know yet. I'm thinking that I'll probably have to move, though. That means that I have to lighten the load. I'll have to sell the XT and the NoMar, the Torpedo heater and the compressor, and all the Buell spare parts and farkles in the garage. Then, my job ended yesterday. That wouldn't bother me much, as it wasn't that good of a job, but the timing just fits with everything else. The main thought that keeps running through my head is that Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans. I have a friend who works on an island in Micronesia. It's 80° F there all the time. Day, Night, winter, summer. He says that it would be a good place to unwind for a while and get my head straightened out. Maybe I'll take him up on it... | ||
| Wolfridgerider |
I don't know what to say... I'm sitting here with my mouth hanging open in disbelief.... It may be hard to find the window that just opened... but its there, somewhere. You are in my thoughts... and that is a understatement (Message edited by wolfridgerider on February 12, 2011) | ||
| Badlionsfan |
Why is she entitled to the car? A coworker of mine just "repo'd" his wifes car after leaving her. He found out that she's cheated all the time since they married over 15 years ago and their twin daughters 99% aren't his. Good luck. | ||
| Kenm123t |
Crusty keep your head it wil get better. First take care of your self do not let anger take hold it will hurt you worse than the object of it. 16 years after my divorce I'm happier in all around better off than my ex and she hit me for well over 7 figures. If you want to talk some time pm me. | ||
| Hughlysses |
Wow- hang in there, Crusty. | ||
| Ratbuell |
Right there with ya Crusty. If you have an urge to move to MD, I could use a roommate...and there's always room for another Buell in the garage. Good luck, man... | ||
| Bbbob |
about seven years ago I went thru something similar...marriage ended (8 yrs) & laid off at the job (18 yrs) in the same month. It sucks going thru it, but I'm in a new state, different career & married a wonderful woman just over a year ago. The job is more fun, I live in a better climate & the marriage is more passionate & has more "depth" then the 1st. It may take a while but you'll land on your feet... | ||
| Froggy |
+1, Crusty, you were the last person on earth I'd except this to happen too. | ||
| F_skinner |
Add me to that List John. I hope it works out for both you and Terri. Like Ratbuell, if you ever get the urge to come to Colorado we can put you up. John, your one of the best, if not the best, Bueller on the planet. As you go through this just know that Lynn and I are praying that things will drop into place sooner rather than later. It sounds like the world is wide open at this point. Take advantage of it. Frank | ||
| Spdrxb |
Yes thats a lot to take on at the same time. However take a deep breath go outside and look at the world in front of you. Things could be a lot worse. Take it one step at a time. I'm not too far from you, If you need help with anything let me know. (Message edited by spdrxb on February 12, 2011) | ||
| Nittanyxt |
 Crusty, The door's always open here! What field are you in? | ||
| Paint_shaker |
Crusty, Keep the faith brother! | ||
| Johnnymceldoo |
That sucks man. On the bright side though its a new beginning once you get through the muck. | ||
| Rocketsprink |
Wow John. I am stunned and sadden by this news. I think getting away for a while would do you a world of good. Truly sorry to hear this. You never know what life will throw at you. Keep your head held high my friend. | ||
| No_rice |
damn crusty, im very sorry to hear that. but as others have said, the only thing to really do is keep an eye open for the good things. and dont just walk away from everything. if she's walking out, unless the car is in her name alone, you have just as much right to it. as for the house. same deal. she still has to pay on it until a different solution is figured out. bikes, toys, sell the things that arent payed for, but dont make rash decisions to dump the things that are for quick cash. i sold my ss nova years back trying to hold things together a little longer. had to file bankruptcy anyway so i should have just kept it. it was paid for. i regret making that rushed decision. i cant tell you things will end up for the better. but i can tell you if you need an ear there are many people here that will gladly lend one. and anything else you may need. take care and dont let sadness be the only thing you let cross your mind. | ||
| Blake |
So sorry to hear this news John. Please remember to protect yourself re bank accounts, credit cards and the like. I think your idea about consulting an attorney is excellent, a good divorce attorney. Don't start selling stuff before you do. Check all cell phone records, credit cards, computers and email accounts for evidence of any kind that may benefit you. Look for web site cookies from online dating sites and the like. Your attitude seems amazingly balanced. Hang tough amigo. This is happening to a bewildering number of friends and family. What the heck is going on! | ||
| 86129squids |
WTF, friend?! Good advice so far- "DEFEND YOURSELF." When the preliminaries concerning that are covered- heck, I'd say a trip to Micronesia might be just the thing... Good luck! | ||
| Cataract2 |
Sorry to hear that man. Keep your head up and looking forward. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. | ||
| Americanmadexb |
Wow is right. Very sorry to hear that John. I agree with everyone else. Lawyer up and defend yourself. Good luck buddy! | ||
| Moxnix |
Micronesia offers "the geographic solution," being far from the problem and giving you time to experience the emotional cheese grater with the distractions of being in paradise with an ocean view allows. All the best. | ||
| Etennuly |
 Wow! It is the only word I've got. Sounds like some good advice so far. Along with don't panic. John, to the best Bueller I know, I wish you the best. | ||
| Fahren |
Crusty, I don't know you, but all of a sudden, I feel as if I do. I'm sorry for all the hassles you will have to go through, but I am optimistic, since I'm very sure it is all going down for a good reason. Since you are sure you will not be able to make payments on the house, your best bet is to go for a short sale. Try not to let it foreclose; try not to go bankrupt. Here is a video that, while the guy is trying to sell his product/services, also gives you some good, basic info to get you started thinking about it. The other stuff is small, compared to the debt on the house. Get out from under that as fast as possible, and the rest you can deal with. | ||
| Oysterman |
I feel your pain. I agree with everyone else, get a lawyer. However, try to get one that you're familiar with or that someone you trust recommends. My partner went thru a divorce not too long ago. She didn't do much research on the lawyer she hired. I think the lawyers on both sides drug it out WAY longer than necessary just to line their own pockets. She also wrongly lost custody of her kids in the process. Guess the point I'm tryin to make is that getting a lawyer is necessary, just be careful. An incompetent and/or $$ seeking one can do you more harm than good. | ||
| Ourdee |
If one of the bikes is paid for, keep it. Get your own lawyer, don't share one. I'm sad for both of you. Heal my friend. | ||
| Rotzaruck |
Good Grief! How do these things keep happening? It's like a disease, that nobody cares to cure. Society is heading down the slippery slope faster and faster. Do protect yourself, you have to. Your brain is probably out of whack, think things through, be patient. If you take off, be sure you are running TO something, and not away. Try to talk to her, she can't run away either. Wherever you go, there you are; with whatever was wrong in the first place. After all that, understand my track record is not so good either, so my advise.....? I will have both of you on my list. Rotzaruck | ||
| Swampy |
I don't know you personally Crusty, but you are a luck man, you didn't have to make the decision, it was made for you. Unfortunately you are in for a rough go for a little while. I am assuming you are married, and you are getting a divorce. If your wife signed the mortgage she is still liable for it. You probably need a great bankruptcy scum sucking bottom feeder. Since wifey works, depending on your state you may be eligible for a little spousal support. Bankruptcy allows for the dismissal of certain debts, mortgage, loans, credit card. What I am saying is you may be in a better situation than 72 hours ago. I would suggest NOT looking at debt consolidation, those are as flakey as payday loans. Do not do anything until you consult with a bankruptcy scum sucker (you will understand my contempt after you pay for one for a while, maybe put a mega retainer on the credit card you are going to see about having dismissed...LOL) Don't sell anything yet. Good Luck, carry on, life is still great. | ||
| Swampy |
What I ment to say was this: http://www.motorcycledaily.com/2011/02/buell-are-t he-worst-of-times-also-the-best-of-times/ | ||
| Cityxslicker |
micronesia and a 125 cc moped for the summer. life will reset its priorities accordingly. protect what is yours. off sell what you wont pay to store, simplify simplify simplify. you will find it is very liberating. Living in a converted garage after selling a house in a down market and getting burned in a relationship that was 17 years old, and I thought was secure... I come to find out she thought it was stale, and when my paranoia instincts caught up to me, and I turned on the inspection, she flunked in the first afternoon. Never let your guard down. or be too confident in your stance, as with the last MMA bout, you are liable to get kicked right in the jaw when you were looking for a punch ! | ||
| Crusty |
Your brain is probably out of whack, THAT is an accurate understatement. Right now, I know that I can not think well, so I'm running on autopilot. Some things that I won't do are try to get the car away from Terri; it's her car. When I get a few bucks ahead, I'll buy a used Ranger or S-10 beater. I will not seek, nor accept any form of alimony. I will find a way to support myself. When I was a (literally) starving hippy, I had too much pride to panhandle, and I haven't changed in that regard. I will be able to collect Unemployment compensation, so I won't be completely hosed, financially. I've found, at other crazy times in my life that going away for a short while helps me to put things in perspective. If I do go to Micronesia or Australia, it won't be to run away from my problems, it will be to step back and clear my thought so I can sort out my priorities. Of Course, I might just ride down to Daytona for Bike Week, and see the races in a couple of weeks. Watching a fast Buell kick ass on the track might be all I need. Plus, I could also take some Demo rides, see the Short Track races and maybe even find some good BBQ (though I doubt it will be as good as the Dinosaur). For right now, I'm going to keep a low profile, put one foot in front of the other and try to do the Next Right Thing. Thank you to the folks who sent me supportive PMs. It really helps. | ||
| Brumbear |
Crusty Spring is almost here Hope Springs eternal!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It aint much but njbuellowners.com always has something cooking come on down and pal around if your lonoking to ride this spring everyone is always welcome on any ride we do. If it helps ya clear your mind map a ride out organize some preruns and such and we can feature it in the run of season events. Like I said it aint much but we are always doing something and need folks who have some time and experience to come round. Dave |
