| Author | Message | ||
     Iman501 |
got the idea in the "how tall is Erik" thread, so lets hear your best chuck norris jokes (or Erik if you still prefer) i'll start chuck norris doesnt go hunting, for the word hunting means the chance of failure, chuck norris goes killing | ||
| Froggy |
They are facts, not jokes. Thread title fixed. | ||
| Cobradave93 |
After partying all night, Chuck Norris doesn't throw up, he throws down. | ||
| Bearracing |
When Chuck Norris does push ups.. hes not pushing his body up.. hes pushing the whole earth down. | ||
| Drkside79 |
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door | ||
| Firebolt32 |
Chuck Norris doesn't wipe his ass. His ass wipes itself! | ||
| Joshinga |
Chuck Norris can eat a rubiks cube and shit it out solved.  | ||
| Squintz |
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of his head. | ||
| Firebolt32 |
 That's not his real chest hair. That's Chewie's fur after talking to much smack! (Message edited by firebolt32 on April 23, 2010) | ||
| 007blast |
Chuck Norris urine is more valuable the gold in many third world countries! | ||
| Ferrisbuellersdayoff |
A company once canned his sweat and put it on the market, he wouldnt allow them to use his name. So now its called Red Bull | ||
| 007blast |
Bigfoot was once spotted by Chuck Norris, however after staring at bigfoot for a while Chuck proceeded to pull his pants down thinking it was a competition. Bigfoot ran into to the woods crying never to be seen again. | ||
| Jredx1 |
Chuck Norris went on vacation to The Virgin Islands, afterward they became known as The Islands. | ||
| Gunut75 |
So now its called Red Bull  | ||
| Swordsman |
A company once canned his sweat and put it on the market, he wouldnt allow them to use his name. So now its called Red Bull That explains a lot... now I know why it tastes horrible. http://www.nochucknorris.com/ ~SM | ||
| Glitch |
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer, too bad Chuck Norris doesn't cry. | ||
| Bikertrash05 |
When Chuck Norris jumps into a pool, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris'd. | ||
| Drkside79 |
Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe. | ||
| Phelan |
Every piece of furniture in Chuch Norris' house is a total gym. | ||
| Phelan |
The only time Chuck Norris was ever wrong was the one time he thought he was mistaken. | ||
| Ohio_xb12 |
Chuck norris doesn't sleep...he waits. Chuck Norris is actually dead. Death just hasn't found the balls to tell him yet. | ||
| 2008xb12scg |
Chuck norris, sly stalone and Arnold go to heaven. God says he's looking for a new right hand man and wants to know how the each qualify. Sly tells God how he made Rocky and taught the value of never giving up. Arnold tells God how he got a whole generation off thier fat a$$es to exercise and stay in shape. Chuck Norris looks at God and says "you're in my chair" | ||
| Not_purple_s2 |
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray as breath freshener. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... The only thing fear has to fear is Chuck Norris Napoleon had a Chuck Norris Complex. Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink. Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush. Chuck Norris can kick start a car. | ||
| Jaimec |
I guess with his show going off the air, there's no love for Jack Bauer? | ||
| Cobradave93 |
If Jack Bauer's show included Chuck Norris, it would still be called 24, but it would be that because Jack would only last 24 seconds with Chuck. That would only last 24 seconds long because of a 23 second commercial. | ||
| Cochise |
Chuck Norris has the greatest poker face of all time...He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, an old maid card, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO. Chuck Norris is due to have lunch with Charles Bronson. If you're going to be there and want to see them, don't look directly at them, get a shoebox, poke a hole in it, cover your head and only look at the reflection on the back of the box (Message edited by cochise on April 23, 2010) | ||
| Cochise |
Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off. When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side. | ||
| Froggy |
This reminds me, a while back I was channel surfing and Walker was on. I only caught a few minutes of it, but whatever was going on, Chuck was in the hospital in a coma. I said to myself "Good thing he had a stunt double for that scene." | ||
| Sknight |
24 has gone pretty soft the last few seasons. Putting Chuck in charge would liven things up. Also because of the aforementioned fact that Chuck doesn't sleep, he waits, 24 would have to be renamed Infinity. It would also represent the number of victims to the roundhouse kick. | ||
| Rotorhead |
Chuck Norris doesn't get written on bathroom walls, the bathroom walls show up behind Chuck Norris |
