| Author | Message | ||
     Crusty |
Let's Offend Everybody! Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem? A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat. Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A. A different bar. Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby? A. Sum Ting Wong. Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A. A speech impediment. Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek ? A. Because they're not going to work in the future either. Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal along with a recipe. Q How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word? A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell, 'BINGO!' Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale??? A. A northern fairytale begins, ..'Once upon a time...' A southern fairytale begins,.... 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit.' Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States | ||
| Nevrenuf |
hey, i really enjoyed those days at the bars that our dad took us to crusty. why you gotta make fun of us.  | ||
| Lemonchili_x1 |
I'm offended! There's no Australians in the list!  | ||
| Nevrenuf |
looks like he isn't an equal opportunity offender graham | ||
| Fahren |
How many Wellesley girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? "It's women, ... and that's not funny!!!!" | ||
| Slaughter |
Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None - they screw in hot tubs | ||
| Fast1075 |
My life is incomplete...I don't know any back handed thing to say about Australians....but the Irish one is right on cue...LOL...I'm half Irish.. | ||
| Slaughter |
Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb: A: 202 - 1 to hold the ladder, 1 to handle the bulb, 200 to "share the experience, man" | ||
| Andymnelson |
My brother owns a couple of restaurants (one of the is The Independent in Minneapolis), and had a good friend managing for him. Said friend stayed late one day and got drunk, then went missing. They discovered he was in the bathroom with a girl, then knocked on the door. He (wasted) opened the door with his pants around his ankles the the girl half naked and said "What?". Yeah...he got fired. The joke running around after that: Q: How many Independent managers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None, they screw in the bathroom.  | ||
| Xb12xmike |
Why did the mexican throw his wife off the cliff?? TE Killa! | ||
| X5thxgearxfreak |
Why don't Mexicans barbecue? Their beans fall through the grates | ||
| Doughnut |
How many cops does it take to escourt a subject down stairs? None, he fell. | ||
| Doughnut |
Police officer pulls over a car and says to the driver, "Sir, your eyes appear to be watery and blood shot, have you been drinking?" To which the driver responds, "Officer, your eyes appear to be glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?" | ||
| Jaimec |
Q: What's black and blue and floats on water? A: People who tell Aussie jokes. | ||
| Doughnut |
Know why gangstas don't go line dancing? Every time they hear "Ho down!" they think someone shot their sister. | ||
| Jaimec |
Wonder how many people here will get this one? Definition of a "pair of pliers:" Two Filipino pilots. | ||
| Froggy |
Lemonchilli - http://stuffucanuse.com/aussie_windows/aussie_wind ows.htm | ||
| Hootowl |
Ah, Jaimec,why you you gotta pick on the Pillipinoes? | ||
| Ratyson |
Wonder how many people here will get this one? HA... I knew that one as soon as I started reading... Learned that one in the Navy. Ok.. so... Whats Black, White, and Red and cannot walk through revolving doors?? A: A Nun with a spear in her head. I dunno what it is about that one... but I always chuckle.} | ||
| Sayitaintso |
What sound does an Italian's car with a flat tire make? wop wop wop | ||
| Jaimec |
Hootowl: I figure it's okay if I pick on my own people. It's an accent I grew up with. Funny thing, but I never even noticed it until someone else pointed it out to me. True story: My cousin Chris' nickname when he was a young boy was "Perry." How did you get "Perry" from "Chris?" That's easy... his name was: Chris-toe-PER! (Message edited by jaimec on January 29, 2010) | ||
| Zane |
What's the difference between cops in Florida and cops in Los Angeles? In Florida we go bar hopping, in LA they go night clubbing! (rimshot) | ||
| Hootowl |
Jaimec, that was my way of telling you I got the joke | ||
| Nm5150 |
How many welders does it take to screw in a light bulb? One,he just holds the bulb and lets the world revolve around him | ||
| Stalker |
I thought the ducaits went wop wop wop.... But daygo fast! | ||
| Fast1075 |
I am offended and outraged by the deliberate omission of Rednecks from this thread...I demand immediate attention  | ||
| Doughnut |
If ya wear a dress that is strapless with a bra that ain't. . . | ||
| Doughnut |
Know how the Scot found the sheep in the tall tall grass? Very appealing. |
