| Author | Message | ||
     Indy_bueller |
There are approximately two billion children (persons under eighteen) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second--3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them--Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance--this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 mps in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now . . . sorry. Merry Christmas! | ||
| Ezblast |
Yes, but Santa has magical powers that make him and the Dear proof against such stuff, slows down time and allows him to do all that in a leisurely fashion with time to tuck in the very young and enjoy some milk and cookies - lol - I'm sorry son - Santa's beyond your science as of yet, however, keep trying - its amusing! GT - JBOTDS! EZ  | ||
| Crusty |
It's been proven that Bumble bees can't fly, also. | ||
| Nevrenuf |
i hope that doesn't get published into any christmas night story for kids. and don't you know that time doesn't just slow down but it stands still christmas eve. and his bag is a portal that allows him to pull toys out of it all night long. | ||
| Indy_bueller |
Uh, relax folks, it was supposed to be funny. I didn't write it, I copied it from someplace. | ||
| Xbrad9r |
Wilt Chamberlain said that he had sex with more than 20,000 women...take into account that he died at age 63 and that he probably didn't get started until age 15...that would mean that he had to average 420 per year, 35 per month, over 8 per week during that time frame... | ||
| Ezblast |
Hell - thats doable! GT - JBOTDS! EZ | ||
| Loki |
I figured out how he stops time and travels point to point. That and get it all done with out breaking a sweat. WORMHOLE technology! | ||
| Mortarmanmike120 |
Do you mean wormhole technology for Santa or Wilt Chamberlain? The later would definitely give new meaning to the phrase. | ||
| Mr_grumpy |
Hell, I'd settle for dying at 63 in those circumstances, I expect the death certificate stated the cause of death as "Shagged out"  As for Santa, the Sleigh & reindeer are just a cover for a teleportation device operated by the elves. | ||
| Nevrenuf |
i wouldn't doubt that wilt had that worm hole also |
