| Author | Message | ||
     Brotherbuell |
Many of my BadWeb brothers will be traveling to Daytona soon. As we all know the venue will be present many "opportunities". In order to minimize the damage to the reputation of this fine Forum, I thought I would post the following rules to follow while away from home. International Rules of Manhood 1 - Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. 2 - It is okay for a man to cry under the following circumstances: a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master. b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse. c. After wrecking your boss' car. d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game". 3 - Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed. 4 - Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within twelve hours. 5 - If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her. 6 - Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However, complain at will! if the temperature is unsuitable. 7 - No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly forbidden. 8 - On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest. 9 - When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing. 10 - You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend. 11 - It is permissible for a man to drink a fruity alcoholic drink ONLY when you're sunning on a tropical beach...AND it's delivered by a topless waitress...AND it's free. 12 - Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts. 13 - Unless you're in prison, never fight naked. 14 - Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed 15 - If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything. 16 - Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers. 17 - A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman, must remain sober enough to fight. 18 - Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy. 19 If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer. 20 - Never join your girlfriend or! wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response. 21 - Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights: a. Yeah, Baby, Push it! b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder! c. Another set and we can hit the showers! 22 - Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need. 23 - Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary. 24 - The morning after you and a girl, who was formerly "just a friend", have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling w! eird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail her again, before the discussion about what a big mistake it was, occurs. 25 - It is acceptable for you to drive her car, but it is not acceptable for her to drive yours. 26 - Thou shalt not buy any vehicle in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange, yellow, or sky blue. 27 - Any female who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!", gets a vibrator. End of story. 28 - There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever. | ||
| Cochise |
10 - You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend. That one is my favorite, also on that same one, you can get your lady to voluntarily go under the covers after such a situation by saying, "I'll bet you I can spit on the ceiling, *HOCK*!" and under the covers she goes, then you hold her under!! Wheee!! | ||
| Smitty808 |
26 - Thou shalt not buy any vehicle in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange, yellow, or sky blue. http://www.godzuki.us/DSCF4527.JPG http://www.godzuki.us/melt05%20(9).JPG Forgive me fellow men....for I have sinned!  | ||
| Scooterroid |
When in Daytona: One (1) man per motorcycle, please. Anything else is just wrong. | ||
| M1combat |
Butts to nuts ain't right. | ||
| Djkaplan |
"28 - There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever." Nothing wrong with watching the womens figure skating competition during the Olympics. Every 4 years, I become an enthusiastic fan - the outfits get skimpier every decade. I'm also an enthusiastic fan of womens gymnastics every 4 years. I never break the 4 year rule, though. | ||
| Spike |
26 - Thou shalt not buy any vehicle in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange, yellow, or sky blue. I take exception to that one too, even though I don't currently own a vehicle of those colors. This one should be amended with some consideration to the performance of the vehicle. Something along the lines of: "Thou shalt not buy any vehicle in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange, yellow, or sky blue, lest the vehicle is fast enough to interrupt a passenger mid-sentence." | ||
| No_rice |
lmao now those are funny! | ||
| Blackbelt |
Yeah i had a yellow ZR2, so my bad, but i pulled many a people out of the ditch and took it mudding more than once during the short time i owned it. And i would love to have a Yellow ROUSH Mustang.. <~~~~ acception to the rule in my book.. | ||
| Wyckedflesh |
Butts to nuts ain't right. Oh I don't know...I can think of a few off the top of my head that would work well...Jessica Alba...for isntance... | ||
| M1combat |
Well fine... but I meant man butts to man nuts  . | ||
| Paint_shaker |
Probably not a rule and more like advice... The police in Daytona work long, long, long hours with little to no days off from the Daytona 500 to well after bike week. This MAY cause grumpiness and a tendancy to be a jerk. Ride smart, ride safe. If pulled over, be polite. Can't wait to hear the XBRR sing!!! | ||
| Sandblast |
Blackbelt- my Mom just got a Roush Mustang, not yellow though, white with blue stripes. Its a neat car, the whole interior seems to be made of high quality carbon fiber, and it goes pretty good. Sounds great too. | ||
| Sandblast |
Why cant you have a brown truck? | ||
| Buell_nm |
 The things you learn about men, when you least expect it. | ||
| Coolice |
#26-What about the orange Uly's? Yellow S-1,XB9R?? Paintshaker has the best rule......Just have fun! | ||
| Paint_shaker |
Yeah... what gives with the brown truck... UPS uses them!!! LOL | ||
| Captpete |
re: Brown trucks Rust (real rust) is the exception. | ||
| Kdan |
Well fine... but I meant man butts to man nuts As opposed to the other kind of nuts? |
