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Dasxb9s
Posted on Sunday, June 13, 2004 - 01:29 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

So..

There I am, in the bike shop tinkering, thinking about working on the race bike, but I choose to go for a ride. Since I was out most of the day running errands on the BMW Friday, I thought the XB needed some exercise today.

Fuscat said he was wanting to work on the Honda and being it was near 3 pm, I was thinking he was doing other stuff. So... I rode by his house, and his truck was gone... so I figured he was too. Then I start towards Sam's, and remember he went to get his van in Colorado. Then I go to Mid America Power Sports on 40 Hwy, to check on the dyno, and find out it still has not arrived. Run to Engle BMW, and they are closed, so I head east on I70.

I figure I will run through Oak Grove and find my way to 50 Hwy and back home. I exit I70 and all seems normal, them I go through the main drag and was going to take a spin through the city park before heading down some back roads to find 50 Hwy. Doing about 20 mph and less, I take two or three turns to head into the park, and as I approach a stop sign I think the turns felt squirrelly. I stop, I look at my rear tire... and I realize that all the air is MIA!!!

So... I am thinking, no one will find me here because. A. they may have trouble finding me off the beaten path of Oak Grove. And... B. I am not sure I can tell someone on the phone just where the hell I am! SO... the tire is wore out any way, I have a new one at home, I got my moneys worth out of this one, and it seem to be rolling well enough so that if I go slow I won't roll it off the bead, and the wheel seemed to be well cushioned by the WIDE FLAT TIRE. I mean flat... the only way it could have had less air was if it was pulling a vacuum!!!

SO... trying to look normal (yeah, I know... that would be impossible) and nonchalantly riding about 15 mph in a 25 mph zone. (That is a first, me riding UNDER the posted speed limit!) I make my way about a mile or two to the local QuickTrip... a major land mark for help to find me. I had considered hacking the rear tire off with my pocket knife and setting it on fire so someone could follow the smoke trail, but I had no matches. I arrive at QT without incident or people pointing, laughing, and yelling "you have a flat"! Well, at least that worked for a while.

I roll into the lot, pull into the first parking spot I see, and hop off and walk in the store just like nothing was wrong! I get a soda and start figuring what next, considering that with my luck, no one I have a phone number to is home. Sharon is unavailable. Sam is on the road. I went by a co-workers house a few minutes earlier and she was not home, and I know I have VERY few numbers in my Nextel, and I have NO numbers in my head. So I figure I will start with Fuscat since he lives the closest to me. He answers on the second ring. See previous post for those details.

So... trying to look like a guy trying to cool off on a warm day with a big soda, I sit on the curb next to the XB. That is when most of Oak Grove realizes there is a foreigner in their town and he has a flat tire.

Hick... "Flat tire mister?"
Me... "No thanks, I already got one!"

Hick # 2... "Ya know ya got a flat?"
Me... "Really??? I thought your streets were mushie!"

Hickette... "Your tires flat!"
Me... "It's OK, it's just flat on the bottom!"

Hick #3... I think you need a new tire!"
Me... "You think I can borrow your spare off your truck?"

Hick #4... "That tar shore is flat!"
Me... "Shazam Gomer, I thank you am right!"

Hickette #2... "Hi... you must be from Kansas City?"
Me... "What gave it away? Was it the flat tire?"

Hickette #3... "Hi... see you have a flat, need a ride?"
Me... "It's only about 20 miles to my house, I was gonna walk after finishing my soda!"
(Editorial note... hands yellowed from cigarette smoke, one tooth, a POS Pinto that didn't look like it would make it across the street, with a face her momma couldn't bear to look at!)

Hick #5... (Who looked at my tire, looked at me, then looked at my tire!) "What cha doing?"
Me... "Getting ready to put this Pepsi in the rear tire. The sugar will seal it and the carbonation will inflate it!"
Hick #5... "Really?"
Me... "Yeah... no sh*t!"

Another foreigner... "Hey... need a ride? I got a S1 and was checking to see if a fellow Bueller needed help!"
Me... "Heard of the KC Mob or the Bad Web?
Other foreigner... "No, I am passing through, I live in Indiana"
Me... "I have a buddy on the way, thanks, check out the BadWeb sometime."

Fuscat arrives, and saves me from strangling the next person who asked me if I knew I had a flat tire! Back to my place, switch to the CR-V and drag the trailer back to Hooterville! Load the XB. It was like pushing a bag of cement! That flat tire didn't get any less flat while I was gone. I guess the Pepsi didn't seal it and inflate it!

I notice the wheel lines up with the hinge pivot point on my folding Kendon trailer. I worry about the wheel rubbing. I pull the rear tire to one side, snug up the rear tie down. Think it won't shift and figure anything I try to put between the wheel and the pivot point won't stay and hope for the best. Hope in one hand... and crap in the other, and see which one gets full!!! So... upon arrival at the casa de Bankrupt, I observe a flat tire AND a gash in my wheel 3/4 inch long and wore down about a 1/16 of an inch! (Since Blake has blocked foul language from showing on the posts. I won't waste 20 minutes repeating what I said when I saw the damage to the wheel!)

The worst part of this all, was that I was gonna run that sucker until I had 6000 miles on it so I could make fun of all the XB riders who wore out two tires in the milage it took me to wear out one. ...and that killed the suggestion made by the service guy at Blue Spring HD. "Dennis, wear that sucker down, bring it in with your new tire, and we will dyno it, the dyno seems to eat the soft tires on the XBs, and then we will put on the new one. I will give you a real good deal on the dyno run and the tire mounting."

Me... "Great idea, I just might do that!"

SO MUCH FOR THAT IDEA!!!

The Good News: old tire... already have a new Dunlap... good friend (Fuscat)... close to home... no crash and burn... it did not happen on I70... it did not happen in the middle of BFE between I70 and 50 Hwy... bike trailer didn't have flat tires... the hicks quit circling the XB while I was gone... the XB was still there when we got back... got to finally use the EazyRizer lift I spent a sh*t load of money on... though tempted, I did not strangle the endless series of hicks asking me stupid questions about the flat... I had two other foreigners visiting Oak Grove ask if I need help or a ride... I managed to get the EazyRizer peg lift assembly put together correctly even though I lost the instructions... did so without dropping the XB...

The Bad News: the tire we are raffling off won't fit the XB... the wheel got cosmetic damage on the trailer ride home... couldn't use my Kendon Bike Lift to remove the rear tire, the special jack for it is still on back order... won't get 6000 miles out of that tire, I coulda done it too!!!... after being so proud of myself for putting the lift assembly together without the instructions, I noticed I did not have it centered well on the lift, and it might interfere with removing the rear wheel, had to do it a second time to get it centered right...


Anyway... tomorrow morning I will take the rear wheel off (hopefully doing so correctly so I don't get XB broken drive belt syndrome!) ...and toss it in the truck with the new tire and drop it by Mid America Power Sports, Tuesday on my way home from work, and see how well they do on mounting and balancing, rather that going to BSHD. I'll let ya all know how they do and what they charge. I will point out the cosmetic damage to the wheel so they won't think they did it.

If anyone was expecting one of my insane stories.... sorry. Maybe next disaster!!! There was a witness... Fuscat saw too much for me to tell my usual story. He coulda pointed out any exaggerations and then who would believe anything I write on the BadWeb???
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Tripper
Posted on Sunday, June 13, 2004 - 08:03 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Exageration #1:

HOOTERVILLE

There is no HOOTERS in Oak Grove.
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Tripper
Posted on Sunday, June 13, 2004 - 08:05 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

This Sunday morning is the "Ride For Kids" at Maple Woods Community College...

Registration starts at 7:30am and ends at 9:15am.

I'm on my way as soon as I get the rainsuit in the tankbag!
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Keef
Posted on Sunday, June 13, 2004 - 09:57 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Dennis,

Don't want to burst your bubble BUT,who does now anyway ...
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Dasxb9s
Posted on Sunday, June 13, 2004 - 10:03 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

I am afraid there are, an omission as it relates to the description of Hickette #3. Mother nature was kind enough to give her a chest full, unfortunately gravity and many years had then moved them WAY south of the intended location where they should have been!!! I am soooo glad it was not raining. That was one t-shirt I didn't want to see wet!!!
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Richieg150
Posted on Sunday, June 13, 2004 - 11:29 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

INFORMATION FOR ALL NOVICE RIDERS,OR THOSE WHO ARE BRAIN DEAD: Do not rely on your odometer to determine your tire life,rely on the tread wear of the tire!
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Richieg150
Posted on Sunday, June 13, 2004 - 11:30 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Dennis,nice stand,is it stable with your bike on it?
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Dasxb9s
Posted on Sunday, June 13, 2004 - 01:06 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Notice to all condescending individuals who make assumptions without knowing all the facts. (I can always count on you to insult me, thanks for not letting me down!!!)

I have been riding since 1969. I am not an expert, but by no means am I a novice! Nor am I brain dead... don't judge me by what I write, most have figured that out by now!

The tread wear indicators JUST started showing about 200 miles ago. I have babied that tire because, expenses for my son (he has priority over my needs) and because of sending my son to a college camp this spring at the tune of $1100.00. And needed to get every mile out of it.

Thank you... I like the lift now that they have adapters to fit ALL Buells.
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Fuscat
Posted on Sunday, June 13, 2004 - 03:14 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

"Exageration #1:

HOOTERVILLE

There is no HOOTERS in Oak Grove."


I beg to differ here, upon the retrieval of said XB I nearly got kinked neck syndrom from 1 truck load of very veloucious "hooters" 3 sets to be exact AND one stand alone set that I was behind in line at the local QT. All in all I would have to say by the sampling I saw Oak Grove must put something in their milk cus it sure did those bodies good!
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Tripper
Posted on Sunday, June 13, 2004 - 08:12 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

I thought he was talking about Hooters the food place.
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Tripper
Posted on Sunday, June 13, 2004 - 08:19 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

The day started at the Ride For Kids. The turnout was light as the storms were just barely paseed KC and the sky was ominous. Griz was working the crowd, telling all who would listen the good points of riding a Buell.
Jeff Griz.

I don't think they fell for it, as my bike was displaying the patented Blow Off The Oil Cap syndrome.
Puke
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Richieg150
Posted on Sunday, June 13, 2004 - 08:27 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Dennis,if you think the comment on determining tire life was an insult----------get real!You said the tread wear indicators started showing 200 miles ago....and you were determines to get 555 more miles out of the tire,so you could say it lasted 6,000 miles.If im right the 220's on my bike are a harder compound than those on the XB,s ,original tire of course.When the tread wear indicators started showing on my tire,it went to crap very quickly,in a few hundred miles.It doesnt matter HOW long youve ridden a bike,or HOW many bikes you have,or HOW many certifications you have on a motorcycle,those tread wear indicators,I THINK,are there for a reason.My original comment still stands........determine tire replacement by tread wear not miles,whatever the reason.Thats not an isult,thats a fact.Why is it that you say not to judge you by what you write,but when I write something sarcastist,or in jest,you take offense to EVERYTHING and are QUICK to pass judjement?Im hoping that when you retire from the FEDERAL GOVERNMENT,and get in the real world,you will find out,people actually tease,are sarcastic,and have fun and ARENT OFFENDED ,and take EVERY comment LITERALLY word for word........OH and by the way........HAVE A NICE DAY!
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Tripper
Posted on Sunday, June 13, 2004 - 08:28 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Off to the All Harley Drags. What a hoot. There were highley modified specials:
mod

Less modified bikes
guys

All kinds of modified bikes
dirtbike

There were boys being boys
boys

and girls being girls
girls

except this girl whipped the boys at this game
girl bite

There were good launches
goodlaunch

and many bad ones
bager2

And everything in between
sidecar
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Dasxb9s
Posted on Sunday, June 13, 2004 - 10:47 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

To those who goal in life is to alienate as many people as possible I post the following.

My first inclination is to say talk to the hand! But right now I am thinking it would be difficult to hold up all my fingers!!!

HOWEVER... I have had a few beers... and what little judgment I have has been melted away by alcohol. Like that really makes any difference... as part of my lot in life has been to be a bad example! So why should I be any different at this second. By the way... I was very lucky I stopped for beer on the way back from the drags... as the street in front of my house looks like Niagra Frigging Falls from the broken water main. DIRECTLY in front of my house! So... I have no water... thank god I stopped for beer!! Other wise I would be drinking water now, and would tend to be polite and not say what so many people want to say!!!.

Not that I have to justify ANYTHING in my life to ANYBODY... much less you, I choose to address a few things! Not for you... but just for me... cause I feel like arguing right now.

1. Referring to the get real... I am real... too fu*king real! So real I won't just stand here and think I don't have a good clue as to what the world and people are all about. Dealing with people is a large part of my job. I have a much better grasp than you can imagine! You don't have a fu*king clue what this is all about!!! I guess that is why so many people hate it when I show up when we get together!

By-the-way... I have had a good number of jobs, and did different types of work in non LEO fields. Sales clerk at Western Auto, clerk at a stop and rob in Sugar Creek, delivery of furniture, auto body repair, working on commission in sales, managing a retail store, just to name a few. But since I have not been a plumber... I can never really understand what the world is all about. I am just a dumb fu*king cop... just a pig on a power trip... a government employee out of touch with the real world. Gawd I feel so bad right now!!! Maybe I shoulda been a plumber... so I could be as sharp and as popular as you. One's profession makes what a person is... right!!!

2. Just this afternoon Derek was at my house. I showed him the tire... and the wear indicators were JUST showing and there was a good amount of tread left. How many people do you know have rode until the tire was wore down to the cords? I don't recall you giving them crap about that happening. What? So suddenly you are the tire sheriff? I could have easily hit 6000 miles on that tire and been a long way from down to the cords... and was I planning anything other than in town riding up to that point? No! So why the do you care. Are you so concerned with my well being you have to pull an intervention to save me from myself??? I am not thinking so!!!

3. About the tease and sarcasm... what the do you think I was doing when I said I was going to make fun of the guys who went through two tires in 6000 miles on their XBs? DUH... Einstein... that was sarcasm! When I told Sam I had over 5000 mile on my original XB rear tire he told me I was being too easy on the tire. (Lights flashing... DING DING DING...DING, we have a winner) YES... I am taking it easy on the tire. I need. Let me say that again, I NEED the tires on my Buell and BMW to last as many miles as possible. MY SON COMES FIRST... then my needs. I run the tires off the bikes... and I sit and look at two bikes with no rear tire. Then I get to run around with the KC Mob following them in my CR-V. As I don't have a tire every 3000 miles budgeted at this point! SO... If I baby my tires to make them last... I am doing something wrong! Gawd damn me!!! I should be more selfish. I should set my standards and way of life to the goal of someone who is loved and respected by everyone in the KC Mob.

4. Quick to pass judgment. That is a good one from someone who criticizes and drives away so many people from alienating others with one's comments and attitudes. Let me put it this way... if it were a good thing to alienate people in one's life. Then you are missing an opportunity of a life time! You could write books and give seminars on how to lose friends and drive people away and make MILLIONS!!! You really need to look into starting a seminar circuit! You could do the same thing as the guy who makes a living with motivational speaking... but to the opposite goal! Really... you have a gold mine there... You could give lessons on alienating people... even those who try to like you in spite of yourself! I am betting in 15 minutes you would have Will Rogers saying.... "Folks... ya know when I said I never met a man I didn't like... well I finally found one!" Will Rogers never met you! In the same time...I have no doubt that Mother Theresa would be inclined to scream in your face... "Get the away from me!" You have an inborn talent. You really need to capitalize on it... really you could make millions!!!

5. You have no clue what my job and my life is about... you just have decided to dislike me because of what I do. AND I DON"T GIVE A ! I don't judge my life on who I get to like me. If you don't like me... at least have a set and say so! Come on... say it... stand up and say it!!! I will be the example of what I say. Hey... I don't like you, even though I have really really tried to see something in you to like. Face it... you finally wore me down. I give up!!! Personally, I really don't have a problem with people not liking me... I am used to people like that... and I can respect the fact that people have different values. On the other hand... I don't judge and hate people who have come through the system... there path in life is different from mine... and it is a path they have to deal with and as long as they accept the responsibility for their actions... they are stand up guys. Be a stand up guy... and say it!!! It is all about choices in life and taking responsibility for the choices we make. SO... when you think you know me because I am a cop or a government employee and start telling me or anyone else that we are out of touch with the real world... my question is... just who is out of touch with what? AND what makes you so smart??? I want to learn something... teach me how I can learn all this stuff!!!

6. Whenever I post here... do us both a favor. Pretend the post is for everyone else on this planet EXCEPT YOU. I don't exist any more... and you don't exist any more. It will be better for both of us. Unless you really do care so much about me that you have to save me from myself. Wow... I mean so much to him he has to take time in his life to set me straight! Wow... I am feeling so emotional right now... I have a real live guardian angel!!!

7. Let's see... If I responded to a posting by you and referred to by labeling it as a novice act or that of someone brain dead... I am thinking you would take it as an insult too. Let's see how this works! Hey... you annoy most of the people I know that know you, and you are one of the most obnoxious people I have met in my entire life... and only someone who had issues with self esteem and taking responsibility for one's life acts like that. Hey... did I get that sarcasm thing down. I bet we both are laughing now. Boy I bet I have made our friendship stronger by this good hearted exchange!

8. How do I respond to have a nice day. P*ss up a rope!

This is sooooo cool! We are having a fun and entertaining exchange of joking and sarcasm. This is the bond men have from alienating each other with negativity.

Right now you are one of those people who actually tease, are sarcastic, and have fun and AREN'T OFFENDED, and take EVERY comment LITERALLY word for word........ and so am I.

Wow... we are having fun. I bet you are laughing your off right now!!!
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Dasxb9s
Posted on Sunday, June 13, 2004 - 11:11 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Listen... listen... listen...

(the sound of crickets in the background)

I have been a very very bad boy!

(Those of you that now have the urge to buy me a beer, I'll take a rain check for now. I know there are some beers with my name on it tonight!)

I'll be standing in the corner for the rest of the evening thinking about what I have done!
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Usapitbullz
Posted on Sunday, June 13, 2004 - 11:27 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

I hope they don't check this site for kiddie porn!


L8R,JM
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Dasxb9s
Posted on Sunday, June 13, 2004 - 11:33 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Are there kittens in a display of pornography some place on this site???


OOps...

That would be kitty porn...

my mistake...

Never mind!!!
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Dasxb9s
Posted on Monday, June 14, 2004 - 12:13 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Does anyone have a tire plug kit... If I plug the four holes in the tire I know I can get another 355 miles out if it.

Anyone... anyone...

Bueller!
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Dasxb9s
Posted on Monday, June 14, 2004 - 12:18 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

re: the bike lift

it is very stable.

EazyRizer... made in England with a US distributor

Check out WWW.bikelift.com
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Keef
Posted on Monday, June 14, 2004 - 08:06 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Well the check gas lite came on on my bike and I was in Sedalia and thought gee if I ride faster I could make it back too KC before I ran out of gas so instead of cruisin' at 70- 75 I kicked the ole' Thunderbolt up to 90-95 and boy it sounded sweet...you know about 20 miles later in the dark of nite on a part of the road without house or even a barn the 'bolt started makin' kind of a poppin'sound and and started slowing down on it's own well hell I cranked in more throttle but it didn't seem to help at all.Thats when it accured to me hell I must be running really low on gas as I coasted to the side of the rode without a street lite to see by. Let me tell you all something a 1999 thunderbolt is not the easiest bike to push down the shoulder of the rode ,though it is easier if it is in neutral NOT first gear after pushing it several miles I finally could see a gas station down the rode and as I got closer I saw the gas price was 2.09 for regular and I thought that was crap as I know that gas is going for 1.77 a gallon right now so I said out loud to myself screw that I will wait and gas up at the next station..Well several hours and miles later I saw another station by this time my legs were way past feeling like rubber I pushed the bike across the grassy muddy meadian ,stopping to retrieve my shoe stuck in the mud after it was sucked off by the deep mud ,I finnally made it to the pumps the gas there was 1.82 so I thought that was close enough.Well at 3:00 in the am I gassed up and crawled onto my bike and found it wouldn't start battery was almost dead I then realized I should not have left the key on while I was pushing the bike down the highway so I could see where I was going. I finally got it started after I pushed it up and coasted down the parking lot several times..My 3 hour little ride turned into an 8 hour ordeal from hell now with no sleep I am going to work and fix peoples cars...
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