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Newfie_buell


Posted on Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 12:16 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

A woman walks into a Lexus dealership. She browses around, then sees the car of her dreams
and walks over to inspect it. As she bends down to feel the fine leather upholstery, a small fart escapes her. Extremely embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person doesn't immediately appear.

But as she turns back, there standing next to her is a salesman.

"Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"

Very uncomfortably, she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"

He answers, "Madame, I'm afraid I can't say.... If you farted just touching it... you're going to shite yourself when you hear the price."
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Mr_grumpy


Posted on Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 12:28 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

OH yes, thank you thank you,

Here's my contribution to the christmas merriment;

A guy is driving around and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale."

He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes around the
house and into the backyard and sees a handsome Labrador Retriever sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the Lab replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young, and I wanted to help the government; so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I wanted to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars", says the owner.
The guy says, "This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff."
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Mr_grumpy


Posted on Thursday, December 23, 2004 - 09:40 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee were sitting by the side of the ocean. It was a romantic full moon, when Huan Cho said ..
"Hey baby, let's play Weeweechu."
"Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon" said Jung Lee.
"Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I play Weeweechu. I love you and its the perfect time," Huan Cho Begged.
"But I rather just hold your hand and watch the moon."
"Please Jung Lee, just once play Weeweechu with me."
Jung Lee looked at Huan Chi and said, "OK, we'll play Weeweechu."
Huan Cho grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....
"Weeweechu a merry Christmas, Weeweechu a merry Christmas,
Weeweechu a merry Christmas, and a happy New Year."

I know where your mind was, and I am shocked...
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Dino


Posted on Saturday, December 25, 2004 - 01:03 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

The wife liked Weeweechu quite a lot.
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