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Buell Forum » Quick Board Archives » Archive through February 19, 2008 » "Quotes", Jokes, Wisdom, Humor & Stuff » Quotes you wont believe! « Previous Next »

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Vegasbueller


Posted on Tuesday, February 01, 2005 - 04:25 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

QUOTABLE OR NOT QUOTES...

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live

forever,"-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss U.S.A. contest.



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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."-- Mariah Carey, singer



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Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for the Federal Anti-smoking Campaign.



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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," -- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky Basketball Forward.



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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"-- Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, D.C.



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"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the President."-- Hillary Clinton, commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.



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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."-- Danny Ozark, manager of Philadelphia Phillies



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"It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another"-- George W. Bush, U.S. President



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"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."-- former U.S. Vice President Dan Quayle



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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" -- former president of American Motors, Lee Iacocca



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"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version."—Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.



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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."-- Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.



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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.



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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."-- former U.S. President Bill Clinton,



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"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." -- former U.S. Vice President Al Gore



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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." -- Keppel Enderbery



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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992, because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

-- State Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina



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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."

Mark S. Fowler, former Federal Communications Commission Chairman
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Metalstorm


Posted on Tuesday, February 01, 2005 - 04:48 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Classic... rofl .... thankyou
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Bcordb3


Posted on Tuesday, February 01, 2005 - 07:52 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Great stuff, do you have any more Dan Quayle stuff, he was priceless.
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Vegasbueller


Posted on Saturday, February 05, 2005 - 10:00 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

I havent seen Quayle's.... but a guy that works next to me has a whole calendar of "Bushisms". It is amazing what you can get someone to say when writing their speech for them!
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Charlieboy6649


Posted on Saturday, February 05, 2005 - 12:43 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Some of the stuff is taken out of context, but is funny none the less...
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Lornce


Posted on Saturday, February 05, 2005 - 10:40 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

"You know, Paul (O'Niel), Reagan proved that deficits
don't matter. We won the mid-term elections, this is
our due." ~ USVP D. Cheney

"I'm the commander - see, I don't need to explain - I don't need to explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being the President. Maybe somebody needs to explain to me why they say something, but I don't feel like I owe anybody an explanation." - George W. Bush, Washington Post, 11-19-02

"I learned the value of humor during the time of Stalinist terror. I could always recognize a person who was not a Stalinist, a person whom I needn't fear, by the way he smiled. A sense of humor was a trustworthy sign of recognition. Ever since, I have been terrified by a world that is losing its sense of humor."
~ Milan Kundera.

"Permanent good can never be the outcome of untruth and violence."
~ Gandhi
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Lindamlly2
Posted on Wednesday, February 09, 2005 - 02:02 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Love that post!
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Oddbawl


Posted on Wednesday, February 09, 2005 - 09:40 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

“I do not understand this squeamishness about the use of gas… I am strongly in favour of using poisoned gas against uncivilised tribes (to) spread a lively terror…”
Winston Churchill, 1919, authorising RAF Middle East Command to use gas on Kurdish tribes.
Shocked the hell outta me!

(Message edited by oddbawl on February 09, 2005)
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Mikej


Posted on Thursday, February 10, 2005 - 08:41 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

If all that's said was published you would be more than just shocked. Trust me.
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