| Author | Message | ||
     Gowindward |
A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?" "Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?" and he smiles. "OK, " she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?" The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea." To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?" | ||
| Oldog |
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| Firebolt32 |
Funny... | ||
| Teeps |
Government job A guy went to the Post Office to apply for a job. - The interviewer asked him, 'Are you allergic to anything? He replied, 'Yes - caffeine.' - Have you ever been in the military service?' 'Yes,' he replied. 'I did 2 combat tours in Afghanistan .' - The interviewer said, 'That will give you 5 extra points toward employment. Then he asked,' Are you disabled in any way?' The guy said, Yes...an IED exploded near me and I lost both of my testicles. - The interviewer grimaced and then said,'O.K. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 - and plan to start at 10:00 A.M. every day. The guy was puzzled and asks, 'If the work hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M., why don't you want me to be here until 10:00 A.M.? - This is a government job, the interviewer said. For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that. | ||
| Froggy |
Hey! I used to work a government job and I resent that, despite how true it is! | ||
| Xblaw |
That got a hearty chortle out of me. | ||
| Crusty |
The first time I heard both of those jokes, I laughed so hard that I fell off my Dinosaur. | ||
| Nevrenuf |
both were pretty good. gonna have to pass them around at work. it's an engineering office and we have a few who don't know shit and act like goverment employees. |
