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Ferris
Posted on Sunday, June 09, 2002 - 10:57 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Road Signs of Life


on February 11th, 2002, at precisely 8:50 in the evening, i awoke from a long coma.

_________________________________________________

it all started innocently enough, as these things are oft to do, with the following post on BADWEB: “Hey guys, Racerboy and I are making plans to ride out for the Brag California tour. We will be leaving St. Louis on May 14. We figure it will take us 2 weeks to make it back home. Who else here is planning on going. Anyone else from the midwest or east riding out? —V2win”

the date was February 5th, 2002, and my brainwave pattern spiked sharply at V2win's post, my first significant neural activity in two years.

yet, five long days went by in still, unbroken silence, and the spike that featured so prominently on my graph above was replaced, yet again, by the flat, monotonous line that had become the sad, pathetic norm since late 1999.

and then this: "Jeez John, looks like this is going to be a real popular gathering... --Racerboy".

Racerboy's post was dated Sunday, February 10th, and indicated all too plainly the depth of my sleep. fellow Hooligans were putting out electronic feelers to their brethren, looking for playmates for what was promising to be one of the most significant Buell events in history, the first ever BRAG Touring Adventure, a goodly portion of which was going to transpire in my OWN Buell-friendly southern California backyard, and i, Ferris the freakin' road-dog ride-ANYWHERE-at-the-drop-of-a-helmet Bueller, was not responding.

flat line.

"Nurse Betty," said Dr. Ry Tuleen, "please note the time of death. Damn it, we ALMOST had him there. "

fight, Ferris, fight! i KNOW you're still in there, you effin', skunk-humpin' bastard, dammit, DON'T look at the light, fight, DAMMIT, FIGHT!!!!!!!!"

flat line.

Racerboy's post above did, however, finally knock some sense into the rest of the left-coast Buell cadre, and replies began to pour in to BADWEB that Sunday from OTHER California Buellers offering words of support and advice to the "Show Me" boys.

then this: "Thanks guys for the encouraging words...We've bought Clement Salvadori's book from Whitehorse Press on touring in California and of course he mentions Palomar...Our prelim plans are to try to get west as quickly as possible so we have a few days before the ride to do things like Palomar and Death Valley... --Racerboy"

my eyelids fluttered for an instant, and my chest heaved upward. Nurse Betty gasped in shock as she was lowering the sheet to cover my ashen, lifeless face.

"Doctor! Come quick! My God, I think he's still alive!"

"Monday, February 11, 2002 - 08:50 pm .

Racerboy, i can help a bit with road choices in/near/around Death Valley (this place is surprisingly sportbike-friendly), pavement that'll have you guys lusting for more.

ping me as your plans gel if i can help with some trip planning.

ride to lean,
Ferris"


Nurse Betty fainted and fell in a heap to the floor.

Dr. Tuleen smiled, flipped up the visor on his Arai, and made the following entry on his chart: "2/11/02, 2050, patient responds to outside stimulus, appears on the road to full recovery. Welcome back Ferris!"

to be continued...
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Blake
Posted on Sunday, June 09, 2002 - 01:59 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Boys and girls, we are in for a literary treat. You go FB!!

Blake (justrealizedthatheneverdidsendyouthatdigicam, D'OH!!!)
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V2win
Posted on Saturday, June 15, 2002 - 07:48 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Ferris,
We are waiting to hear "The rest of the story".
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Dino
Posted on Saturday, June 15, 2002 - 05:58 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

And getting older by the day.
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Ferris
Posted on Sunday, June 16, 2002 - 09:22 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Coming out of the Vroom Closet
__________________________

so what's all this gibberish about awaking from a freakin' coma, you might be asking right about now? well sirs and ma'ams, it's a long story, for perhaps another time (hint: will tell all for dark beer or a bottle of Bailey's...), but basically boils down to a couple of things.

firstly, my beloved '96 Buell S2 Thunderbolt, the BLURR, suffered a wee bit of a setback going to the World Superbike races at Laguna Seca in July '99, in the form of rear-cylinder meltdown due to an intake leak i missed.

it made a mess of the engine (severe understatement), and due to finances and lack thereof, the BLURR has sat in the garage ever since, engine out and scattered about on the workbench, waiting for my ship to come in. (tell me: why is it the tide is ALWAYS out?)

for the record then, the last Buell ride i was party to took place in September '99, a cross-country rip to the East Coast/Blue Ridge Parkway/Dragon's Backbone with Fireman Jim for the BRATPAC Rally, via the big BRAG gig in Taos, NM. i had to BORROW a Buell to ride for this particular excursion, a rowdy red Lightning X1 courtesy the fine folks at Santa Cruz, CA Buell/Harley-Davidson (thanks again, Mike! :-).

when this monster-ride was all said and done and i bid the Lightning farewell, your humble scribe, for all intense intents and purposes, began the dark, dismal descent into the depths of doom and despair. i mean geez-o-pete, i...had...nothing...to...ride.

secondly, combine my sudden long-term loss of wheels with the inexorable evaporation of PACBOG, my long-suffering Buell owner's group (yet another story, ask to hear it at your own peril...), and you've got all the ingredients for a $3.99 All-You-Can-Eat buffet of seclusion and reclusion, which is pretty much where i do my best work anyway.

the third, and final, element of my virtual disappearance from virtual reality was the acquisition of a shiny red '98 Honda VFR interceptor in late 2000. the tale of how it came to take up residence next to the hulk of the BLURR in the garage (no money down, low-interest, and forever to pay) could also easily become epic, and if you want to hear it (you fool), you already know my weaknesses.

so, in a nutshell: 1) i, Ferris the freakin' road-dog ride-ANYWHERE-at-the-drop-of-a-helmet Bueller, did not anymore own a functional Buell; 2) i, Ferris the freakin' road-dog ride-ANYWHERE-at-the-drop-of-a-helmet Bueller, did not anymore sit at the helm of the largest private Buell owner's group in the world; and 3) i, Ferris the freakin' road-dog ride-ANYWHERE-at-the-drop-of-a-helmet Bueller, now rode a h-h-h-h-Honda.

how was ANY of this supposed to work?

thusly, verily, quietly, discretely, and with head hung fairly low, i skulked away into the shadows, my paid admission into the land of the lunatic fringe considerable and complete.
__________________________

it took two acts of courage, and the aforementioned electronic events of 2/11/02, to bring me back from the brink.

act of courage #1 came in the form of an angry e-mail from one of my best riding friends. sorry, you DON'T get to hear this story, beer or Bailey's or whatever, except to know that this e-mail literally and figuratively kicked my ass.

for several reasons.

and caused, among other things, your Mr. Bueller to step up to the BADWEB microphone and announce the presence of the Interceptor (a HONDA? oh the shame, Ferris, the BLASTPHEMY!!!) to the Buellin' Hooligan world (act of courage #2).

thusly, and, yet again verily, i formally came out of the vroom closet.

and at 8:50 pm on February 11th, i formally came out my coma.

to be continued...
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Pilk
Posted on Sunday, June 16, 2002 - 01:08 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Ferris,
I'll buy you a Guiness at bonni' just for givin me cool stuff to read! BTW that is my brand of brew. Keep writin, ridin, and bein. Thanks.
Pilk
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Dino
Posted on Wednesday, June 19, 2002 - 09:31 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Ferris,
Part II at last! Give me a break here...I went to Mariposa Sunday and on to Yosemite Valley Monday for a meeting - in an freakin SUV for cripes sake. (Neither bike was deemed laptop friendly.) The least you can do to help revive my flagging spirits is proceed immediately to Part III, do not pass GO, do not collect $200. What's with this only on Sunday sh*t...some sort of religious thing with you or what?

BTW, did you ever find anything on that 60's dirt biker and earn your free coffee?
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Ferris
Posted on Thursday, June 20, 2002 - 08:03 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Blake: noyouneverdidsendthedigicambutiCOULDstilluseit...

V2Win: um, you have me confused with Paul Harvey...

Pilk: thank you very much, see you at Bonneville...

Dino: alright, already! geez, ya never heard of foreplay? sigh, you men are all alike!!!

ps to Dino: no, been too frikkin' busy trying to come up with the "rest of the story" for you guys to research the dirt biker question....

write to lean,
FB :)
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Firemanjim
Posted on Thursday, June 20, 2002 - 01:10 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Damn,Ferris,GET ON WITH IT,for petes sake!!!
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V2win
Posted on Thursday, June 20, 2002 - 05:01 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Awww shucks, yualll boyz shorr aw fuuney out thar on that thar left coast. Nuttn like us boyz heer in the middle. Weuns gots our feets firmley on them pegs. Spacially when weuns are dragon them thar pegs. Fuuney is ok i rekon but fuuney and sloo aint. The roomer back heer afteer that thar Californie rid is that sum of yous guys ar kinde sloo. Weuns hereed that them thar Sacbugger boyz weer ridn sorta likes hour women folks do heer. Weuns weer gona try two make it out thar somday to rid wich yaull but ifn aul yaul do is putt-putt all day, it woodnt be noo funn.
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Dino
Posted on Thursday, June 20, 2002 - 10:17 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

V2win: In defense of Ferris, and take this in context, he does ride faster than he writes.

(Translation: That thar Farus don't rid neer as pokey-like as he rites.)
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Racerboy
Posted on Saturday, June 22, 2002 - 07:25 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Oooohhhh Johnnnnnn...I think we still want to be welcomed when (and if) we ever make it out there...Damn, I cna't type, I'm laughing too hard...

Ferris...John and I just got a few books on the Lewis and Clark Expedition...It began just across the river (Mississippi) from us at Wood River IL...Just a few evenings with the mapping program puts the trip from here to Astoria OR at about 2,500 miles staying as close to the Missouri River and then their route over the Rockies and eventually down the Columbia...As you probably know, next year marks the beginning of the bi-centennial celebration of the Corps of Discovery's expedition...We thought this might be kind of a fun project and many of the cities along the trail are planning special events during the celebration...Quite a few of the members were fom the St Louis area and just the other day I spoke to a customer who is descended from a member...I've really just started researching this project and will keep you in the loop as we progress...John and I have no interest in the crowds in Milwaukee next year...

See Ya!

Bob
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Firemanjim
Posted on Saturday, June 22, 2002 - 07:47 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Ferris,as slow as you are at getting this story written,I could ride down,give you a good whuppin',and ride home waitin' for the next edition.We WANT MORE NOW!!!!!(P.S. I am stuck at work for going on 72 hrs straight and I am BORED,please help.)
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Ferris
Posted on Sunday, June 23, 2002 - 10:16 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

DV with the SMB's via the GP by FB...Oui?
__________________________

now then, to be brutally honest, i kinda half-expected i might not hear back from Racerboy regarding my offer of route planning in/near/around Death Valley. why? well, sometimes it just seems like that's the way these things go. somebody says "Blah, blah, blah...", and somebody else says "Yeah, well blah, blah, blah...", and sometimes that's the last of it.

and, keeping with the brutally honest theme for another moment, i kinda half-hoped he WOULDN'T take me up on my offer. i had done, for reasons already outlined (you HAVE been paying attention, right?), a decent job of falling off the face of the earth, and sad as it sounds i was having second thoughts about sticking my head up outta the hole i was calling home and activating my unlurking device.

Racerboy, however, was having NONE of that :-)

within three hours of my original offer, he was back on BADWEB with a vengeance, Death Valley this, Death Valley that, and my Ferrilous fate was fully sealed.

in short order the FB of old was in full-swing, conjuring up all sorts of wordy Buell-worthy local road options on BADWEB for the Show Me Boys (SMB's). let the games begin and all that. and when, at last, my flying fingers pecked out the following message while my eyeballs looked on in bemused bewilderment, i knew my rebirth was nearing completion:

"Racerboy, i'm toying with the idea of taking that Fri and Sat off (i'm a couple years o.d. for some quality riding time) and providing expert guide service, if'n you'd be interested.

i can envision meeting you guys somewhere in/near Death Valley, relatively early Fri morning, then doing much/most of what i've outlined before, including some local gems (Portuguese Pass, for example :-) that i haven't previously mentioned.

Fri night could be spent somewhere in the mountains, and i could get you boys to San Diego on Sat in plenty of time, on yet even more Buellish roads (does Rim of the World Highway sound at all interesting?)

anyway, give it some thought, i'd be honored to show you guys some of my personal playground on your way thru.

ride to lean,
Ferris"


Racerboy, being the rocket scientist he most assuredly is, said something profound like "Yeah, buddy!"

which i then followed up with "...one of my all-time fave things to do is show non-locals the best stuff, plus it takes the work out of it for you guys, minimizing downtime looking at maps, accidentally taking shi**y roads and worrying about when to take fuel stops and the like.

i wouldn't be surprised if we pick up a few riders for this deal (like Sparky and FMJ, hmmmm? :-) as it comes together, which i think would make it all the merrier.

shall we call this the California Grand Pre-Ride?"


there you have it, fine folks.

not only was i no longer In Coma, and not only was i no longer In Closet, i had given the damn thing A Name, and, as you well know, once you do that, it's Pretty Much Official.

the California Grand-Pre Ride -- soon shortened simply to CAL GP -- quickly took on a life of it's own.

much, it seems to me in retrospect, as had i.

to be continued...
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Ferris
Posted on Sunday, June 23, 2002 - 10:30 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

and LP? Si!
__________________________


oh, and JUST in case your humble servant had any nasty notions of balking in some pathetic fashion (heavy sigh, i've done it before...) and wriggling off the hook i'd just baited for myself (heavy sigh, i've done it before...), about this time the following e-mail came in over my wire:

"Ferris,

For the CA Tour at the end of May, I have a couple routes from Bakersfield to Fresno that I wondered if you might have time to check the accuracy of. See the attached Word document, and let me know what you think. The Long Route is the one I am more concerned about (side trip into Lake Isabella).

Also - is there any part of either route that might be impassable due to snow?

Thanks for any help you can provide!

Leslie Prevish
BRAG"


Ferris, me bad, bad boy, WTF are you getting yourself into?!?!?

"um, sure Les", basically said i, "would be glad to help!"

here i am, babies, signed, sealed and delivered, i'm yours. let's roll.

to be continued...
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Ferris
Posted on Sunday, June 23, 2002 - 12:02 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

West by Southwest, the Long Way
__________________________


so as the next couple of months whizzed by, i had the highly enviable job of putting together ONE ride, and helping out with a sizable portion of ANOTHER, which meant, among other things, plenty of seat time in the mountains and deserts of southern California getting our ducks in a road. rough, tough stuff, i'll tell you, but SOMEBODY had to do it.

uh, 'scuse me a sec while i wipe that drool off your chin.

there, that's better :)

Death Valley i knew well already from a where-and-how-to-ride standpoint, having been there several times on two-wheels and in four, plus there are very limited options as to how to get in and how to get out of this giant blast-furnace anyway. in spite of this, there are several mistakes a novice DV-rider can make, particularly heading westbound.

further, i knew of at least two roads to the west of DV that the Boys were almost guaranteed to miss, roads that seldom see a motorcycle because most folks just don't know they're there. one of these paved jewels -- Horseshoe Meadows Road near Lone Pine, CA -- switchbacks it's way up a sheer granite face near the base of Mount Whitney, taking the slack-jawed rider on a 10000-foot EB-Ticket ride into a cool, brisk, refreshing, forested alpine wonderland located barely two hours from the searing, scorching, inescapable heat of Death Valley.

there were many days where i'd race home from work, jump into riding gear, fire up the Interceptor and ride 'til dark, checking out new roads, reacquainting myself with old roads, double-checking mileages and directions, and generally having the time of my life while i fulfilled my obligations as Ferris Bueller, Scooter Scout Supreme of the Southern Sierra. (catchy title, doncha think? yeah, me neither.)

ever feel a little guilty about jumping on your bike and disappearing for an afternoon and/or evening? (yeah, me neither.) but, i'm here to tell you it's a whole lot easier to give that guilt a swift kick in the ass if it rears it's ugly rear when you absolutely HAVE to ride in order to perform the course of your duly assigned duties and obligations. so sorry, MUST ride, back later, ciao bella.

as time went by i kept in touch with LP and the SMB's via e-mail and voice, and slowly but steadily things came together. my primary concern with Leslie and the upcoming BRAG All Cal Tour was whether the weather, as in would the snow break in time to do Day Three as she had envisioned. the "Long Route" for that day would take the group up-canyon from Bakersfield on Highway 178 east to Lake Isabella, a huge man-made reservoir nestled snugly in a rugged valley in the southern Sierra and fed by snow-melt from Mount Whitney, before making an assault of the 7000-foot-plus Western Divide Highway on the way north ultimately to Sequoia and Kings Canyon National Parks.

according to the Forest Service, i was told repeatedly, the Western Divide SHOULD be open in time, but i made it clear to Les that there are no guarantees up here in them thar hills. i promised, however, that i'd map out a couple of "back-up" routes for Day Three, jusssssssssssssst in case.

little did i know how important this last little detail would prove to be.

the key word from the SMB's as we went along was "uncertainty". V2Win was installing a brand-new engine in his Thunderbolt S-3, and it became quickly apparent that there were barely enough hours and days to get his bike up and running in time for the GP and the BRAG Tour, much less do any real justice as far as road-worthiness proving.

Racerboy called on several occasions, expressing a realistic concern about the wisdom of subjecting a new, untried-and-true engine to the rigors of a high-performance cross-country blast, and we both admitted that this added a pretty large wild-card to the hand we were playing. it still made sense, however, to proceed with planning on both ends assuming a best-case scenario, and we fined tuned our joint arrival times at the Furnace Creek Inn in Death Valley for the evening of Thursday May 16th.

and the beer, we each readily agreed, that evening would flow.

to be continued...
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V2win
Posted on Sunday, June 23, 2002 - 09:35 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Ferris do good. Him good boy kemosabi!
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Blake
Posted on Sunday, June 23, 2002 - 11:32 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Great stuff!
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Dino
Posted on Monday, June 24, 2002 - 01:28 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Well done (well, not done) Ferris. More next Sunday?

BTW, I saw a couple Buells today, heading down Rd 600 from Ahwahnee as I headed up. I'm sure that they were not friends of yours...I was going faster uphill on the K100RT than they were going down. They are obviously in need of a Ferris led ride or two to educate them on the proper use of a Buell!
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Carlk
Posted on Monday, June 24, 2002 - 05:37 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Damn! I drove some of those roads whilst on vacation recently (Im from England)
All the time I was thinking, "if only I had my Bike If only....."
Cant get the wife anywhere near two wheels so it had to be a hire car
I'll be back tho'. and when I do it'll be on two wheels and I know who to ask about roads and rides.
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Firemanjim
Posted on Saturday, June 29, 2002 - 11:34 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Ok you derelict,we are awaiting more of the Tale,so get yer fanny writing,FERRIS.
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Ferris
Posted on Sunday, June 30, 2002 - 10:34 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

RERUNS? Ferris, you effin' skunk-humpin' BASTARD!
______________________


some of you folks have already read some of the following words, posted as they were originally on the CA BRAG thread elsewhere here on BADWEB, but i've taken the liberty of culling some of THOSE posts and placing them HERE, for a coupla reasons that you'll just have to figure out on your own.

muddle thru this stuff as best you can, maybe it'll bore you to tears, maybe it'll jog a fond memory or two of the anticipation leading up to the GP and the ALL California BRAG Tour, and maybe it'll just piss you off 'cause i'm taking SO DAMN LONG to get around to what you're all waiting to hear.

ok, ok, for those of you who fall into the latter category, here's a sneak preview of what's eventually coming: "It came, we rode, much fun, can't wait to do it again."

there, ya happy now? :)

in the meantime...

Sunday, February 24, 2002 - 10:43 pm .

boys, i set out to do some California GP recon today, in the benevolent warmth and sunshine that passes for winter around here, and made it up Mountain 99 above Kernville about 25 miles, to Johnsondale, before being greeted by a big-assed "Road Closed" sign.

i wasn't surprised--this is the mountains, after all--and this is winter (after all), and the sign surely meant snow ahead.

so, i did what any of YOU would have done....i rode around the friggin' sign.

less than a mile later there it was, an ugly little snowbank lying across the road. fine, didn't wanna ride any farther anyway (actually, i did, but watcha gonna do?)

the beauty of it was i had the world to myself. the thermo in the VFR's dash said it was 61 degrees, so it seemed a mite odd to be standing on a pile of snow blocking the road, but there it was nonetheless.

very quiet, the air sharp enough to bite your nose, but not cold enough to make you want to hurry away.

a butterfly (!) did a couple of laps around my head, with wings that looked like brown velvet, then landed on a branch.

by taking my time, i was able to get within about a foot of him (her?), as it sunned itself. very pretty, yellow-tipped wings with the softest blue circles of color bordering the yellow.

only when i fell down the bank (literally) and stood on some boulders in the middle of the stream i had stopped next to, did the air become cold enough where i could see my breath.

more...

Sunday, February 24, 2002 - 10:54 pm .

so, Portuguese Pass was out, as was 100 Giants.

the only thing to do was retrace my steps back down M99, along the north fork of the Kern River (not exactly drudgery, i'll tell you :-), and twist and shout back to Kernville for lunch.

nice ride, the downrun, and as i lost three or four thousand feet in altitude i gained about 10 degrees in temp, as KVille was a very comfy 70 farin...., um, fairen....um, not Celcius.

Cheryl's Diner was the destination (hey Sparky!). oddly enough, there were no patrons on the outdoor patio, and i couldn't bear the thought of eating inside on such a keeper of a day.

i asked the waitress who met me at the door if i could get a bite to eat outside. she grimaced, groaned, and hemmed and hawed, and said she was trying real hard not to open the patio.

geez, i said, i GOTTA sit out there, have you seen what a great day it is outside? (i KNEW she had.)

the waitress, a perky little vixen with mousey blonde hair and bedroom eyes, looked me straight on, smiled, almost winked, and said, "Sure, I'll take care of you."

yummmmm :-)

more...

Sunday, February 24, 2002 - 11:07 pm .

oh yeah, she had a just-right butt :-)

wasn't more than five minutes and there were four tables in action, three of which were occupied by riders.

to my left were the owners of a gorgeous blue Sporty, about a '78 vintage, i guessed. (turned out to be a '79.)

ya know how dogs, when meeting other dogs, will, um, sniff each others' backsides? well, i guess that's what the Sporty owner 'n me did, as we exchanged a little banter back and forth.

a slammed full-meal-deal-chop of some description rode by just then (Harley? Big Dog? Titan? Ultra? you decide), obviously runnin' drag pipes.

the thing made that stereotypical drag pipe sound between shifts, you know, that BRAPBRAPBRAPBRAPBRaauugghhh..... sound.

the Sporty owner says, "Gee whiz, THAT sure sounds odd!"

yeah, i said, i think it's only running on two.

he looks at me, winks at his S.O., looks back at me with his chest enlarged a size, and says, "Um, dude, like it's only got two."

yeah, dude, i said with a wry smile..........i know :-)

he got the joke right away, and just like the dogs--who after they've sniffed and whiffed, deciding each other's aroma meets their requirements--we decided to wag our tails and play.

more...

Sunday, February 24, 2002 - 11:20 pm .

nice folks, and turns out the Sporty's for sale. it's Fearless' color (oh-so-blue), and i got a phone number for her just in case.

an Interceptor-red Triumph Triple pulled in. sorry, no red bikes are allowed to park here today, i said to the pilot.

he (a very big guy who turned out to be a former cop) looked at my VFR parked a few feet away, and said with a grin, "Well, bring on the tow truck."

you're in luck, my friend, i said, tow trucks don't run up here on Sundays.

great folks, Bert and Barb, and we rammed Pastrami sandwiches together like it was our last meal.

from Bakersfield, they were, doing the Lake Loop. i ended up riding with them down the lower Kern River Canyon to Mesa Marin, and there was an e-mail from them waiting for me on the computer when i got home. looking forward to the next ride, guys :-)

the trip back up the canyon to the awecienda was at, ahem, a little faster clip, as all the traffic was coming downhill, out of the mountains, not uphill like me.

rip, rip, rip went the VFR.

yum, yum, yum, went Ferris.

Portuguese Pass and the rest will have to wait, boys, but i'm reasonably sure the snow will by all vamoosed by May, k? :-)

ride to lean,
Ferris
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Ferris
Posted on Sunday, June 30, 2002 - 10:46 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Sunday, March 03, 2002 - 07:52 pm .

boys, it's NOT my fault! really, i'm innocent.

ok, ok, here's the deal.........

i set out this morning about ten, with every intention of doing s'more scouting for the Cal GP. it was way cold last night, but the temp had already climbed up into light-jacket territory, and it's promising to be one of those days :-)

while at the Bank of America ATM in Lake Isabella waiting for a fresh $20 to emerge, i spied a small fleet of flashy sportbikes across the street at the Texaco.

"Run, Ferris, runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sigh. too late.

like an interstellar tractor-beam they were, and before you could say "Kawabunga!" i was asking them which way they were headed.

more..........

Sunday, March 03, 2002 - 08:05 pm .

lessee........not one but two TL1000R Suzooks, both with high-zoot carbon-fiber everywhere, an equally spiffy and loud CBR929RR, and a crash-damaged but road-worthy YZF-R6.

and darned if they weren't headed down-canyon, just like me.

i'm barely five minutes from home, and already i could see where this particular day was headed :-)

Yellow TLR-boy says he wants to stop somewhere on the down-run, in a scenic spot overlooking the river, and shoot pix of us dragging parts.

i heard the words, "Hey dude, works for me!" come out of my mouth.

so off we went (impressively conservatively at first, i thought), but lo, it wasn't long before we were--each in our own various manner and style--breaking the damn law.

heavy sigh.

i wish i had some control over this stuff :-(

more...

Sunday, March 03, 2002 - 08:19 pm .

when we got the photo op out of the way, i started laughing.

"Wuzzup?", asks CBR-boy with a grin.

you know, i said, it's a pretty bizarre sensation, after you've tossed out the laundry and dropped out of warp--at this point feeling like you're just crawling along--to look down at the how-big-is-the-ticket-gonna-be gauge and realize you're still doing a hundred!

CBR-boy laughed knowingly :-)

we sat there for a few minutes, basking in the gloriousness of the day, each of us expressing, in one way or another, our sincere and heartfelt thankfulness for being Americans and having the freedom to ride, for being sportbikers in such a golden age of high-performance motorcycles, and.....for being Californians and having the ability to ride, on an early-March day, over endless twisty roads in the ever-present CA sun

as i've tried to illustrate already, it was one of those days.

more...

Sunday, March 03, 2002 - 08:34 pm .

Yellow TLR-boy told of a Sunday visit to the Rock Store a month or so ago. the place was packed with bikes, he said, and who should be sitting next to him? Arnold Schwarzeneggar.

i asked TLR-boy if Arnold was wolfing down a greasy cheeseburger like he was, and he said, "Nah, he was just having water." :-)

well, it became time to continue our journey down the Kern River, and for my partners it sounded like everyone was reaching the end of their riding day, as each of them had their own plans as to how and when they were going to peel off from the group down below.

so off we went, and soon me and Yellow TLR-boy had left the others behind (probably stuck behind a friggin' Whinerbago).

we.......flat.......ripped.

TLR-boy had me on some of the corners. he seemed just a tad more comfortable on the edge, whereas i wasn't dressed to fall down, and wasn't at all anxious to attempt to sail across the Kern River to the other canyon wall if i made a mistake.

on what few straights there are on this stretch of 178, tho, the VFR more than made up ground, and the sound of six cylinders of high-zoot-scoot echoed off the steep granite walls in a symphony of mechanical mayhem :-)

at the bottom, TLR-boy signaled to pull over and wait for his brethren, while i whooshed by on his left with the biggest thumbs-up and a-ok i could muster with gloved hands.

mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-good!!!!!!!!!!!!

more...

Sunday, March 03, 2002 - 08:49 pm .

ok, so NOW i can get back to my recon chores, right?

NOT so fast, Castrol-breath!

whilst fueling up on the northern outskirts of Bakersfield, ready to begin my ascent back into the Sierras, a pickup truck pulls in at the next pump to get gas.

but, instead of fueling up, the lone male occupant walks right up to the Viffer and asks how i like the new '02-model Interceptor. sure as the world, i've unwittingly run into another sportbike rider.

Ed is his name, and he owns a 900SS Ducati.

why you drivin' and not ridin' on such a fabulous day?, i asked.

"Um, well, last weekend I converted the Duc into an ultra-light up above Lake Isabella and sailed it into a tree."

geez, i said. it was then that i noticed that he was holding his right arm unaturally still and close to his body.

"I'm ok", Ed said, "but the bike's a mess, still in impound actually, and of course i had just put about three grand's worth of carbon-fiber and trick exhaust into it."

anyway, Ducati Ed and i shot the shite for probably almost an hour when it was all said and done, and we agreed to keep in touch via e-mail, and when he's back carvin' the wind again we're gonna hook up and ride. (i promised to teach him the difference between motorcycles and airplanes :-)

well, by now the day has started to get away from me (but it's NOT my fault, remember??!!?? :-)

not to worry, i'll be back in the hills in a jiffy, and then let the CAL GP scouting begin!

more...

Sunday, March 03, 2002 - 09:09 pm .

so the Sierra foothills above Bakersfield are somewhat unknown to me, which is why i was up here sniffin' around in the first place.

i ended up hanging a right off of Granite Road (veddy, veddy nice :-) onto Round Mountain Road, just to see what there was to see.

slick country, chock full of green rolling hills and not a soul in sight.

well, except for the paintball range i rode past. looked like a tournament or something was in progress. there were easily hundreds of cars, out in the middle of nowhere. nobody shot at me, for which i was grateful :-)

soon i started climbing, and still not a sign of civilization. nothing but green hills and wildflowers.

oh, and the occasional LARGE contented cow :-)

as i climbed, this road suddenly came back to me. i realized i had done the other end of Round Mountain one day last year, but turned back when the pavement turned to gravel. (i HATE riding on dirt roads!!!!!!!!!)

but today, i sucked it up and soldiered on, at a maddengly slow clip to try and keep the wheels clean.

shortly after i began my descent (back on pavement again), the last--and by far the most major--of this days's distractions presented itself.

more...

Sunday, March 03, 2002 - 09:48 pm .

so i'm working my way down off of Round Mountain--over the river and thru the woods, so to speak--when what should i spy thru a cut in the hills but none other than Ming Lake.

not sure why i was so surprised. i mean, the lake was right where it was supposed to be. i guess it was the suddenness of the sighting, and the deep, azure blue of the water contrasting against the vibrant green of the hillsides.

(geez, Ferris, get TO it, wouldya????!!!!???)

well, i HAD to stop. i had the world to myself, the sun as shining, and i was ready to become as one with nature.

after the bike quieted down, and after i got my helmet off...i...heard...this...wonderful...noise.

Lake Ming, for those of you who don't know, is the local home of (drum-roll please!) drag-boat racing, and the sound i was hearing was the sound of fire and fury on the water :-)

the hill i was sitting on, all carpeted in green, was about 3/4 mile fom the lake, and about six or seven hundred feet above. the view was incredible.

i'd heard there was regular drag-boat racing on Ming, but for some dumb reason i've never come down and taken it in.

not today, Buckwheat, here i am!

pretty bitchin' from my vantage point, far enough away that the boats moved (quickly!) for several second before i heard the resultant sound, which echoed thru the hills in a most intoxicating way.

and the word "sound" doesn't do it justice, no sir. ever been to an NHRA drag race? same deal here, bubba, all rappetty-rappetty-rappetty-rappetty, big cams on expensive fuel.

i was, shall we say, entranced :-)

more...

Sunday, March 03, 2002 - 10:10 pm .

it wasn't long before i had to have more, which meant, in this case, getting much, much closer to the action.

as a bonus, Round Mountain Road from here on down is THE BOMB, as the pavement gets wider (thank goodness) and smoother the closer you get to Bakersfield.

after a short stint on China Grade Loop (yes! yes!), and a slow cruise thru Hart Park (mandated by at least four thousand and seventy-two Kern Co. Sheriff's cars patrolling the neighborhood), a left/right puts you in very close proximity of Ming Lake.

holy smokes, i was NOT prepared.

the place was packed! and not just with boats (man, i'll get to them in a minute), but with people (many of which were hard-bodies sporting the latest in short-shorts and bikini-tops--God, i LOVE California!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

i idled down the "return road", where the haul-vehicles and trailers head up to the other end of the course after dropping the boats in the water by the starting line.

wow. wow. just wow.

i think the word i'm looking for is "incongruous", the constrast between all the trick drag-boats and equipment (including mega-dollar big rigs and motorhomes) and the golf course and mega-dollar homes that border Lake Ming.

i stopped next to the fence and got the attention of one of the racers waiting in line to launch his boat.

dude, i'm new to this whole scene, i said. like, do you race a 1/4-mile, just like the pavement guys?

"Yeah buddy!", came the cheerful reply.

ok then, the fastest boat here today, what'll it do in the quarter?

"Oh, about five seconds at about two-forty."

if it wasn't for my Arai, my jaw would have dropped right to the ground.

more...

FB
Sunday, March 03, 2002 - 10:28 pm .

well, any thought i had of doing my "chores" today went right out the porthole, as i burned the next coupla hours getting the fast-boat thing all over me.

i opted not to buy a pit-pass (fifteen bucks--ouch!)(altho it woulda been worth it for the a'la skimpy fashion show...), but the lake and surrounding park is situated such that you can get great shots of the action without ponying precious gas money.

fuckin-A (can we cuss here, Blake?), these damn boats are AWESOME! the top-fuelers sound just like John Force or Kenny Bernstein getting ready to launch at Pomona.

the trickest units i saw in the pits had enclosed driver cells and canopies that look like they just came off an F-16 the Air Force parted out, along with twin-parachutes on the back!

geez-o-pete, this was good stuff, and the rest of the day--as far as recon work was concerned--was a total write-off at this point.

i hope you understand.

if it's any consolation, the only thing remaining for me--after getting my fix of the floater-brigade--was a hyperactive romp up the Kern Canyon.

as was the case last Sunday after my Burt'nBarb ride, today i had the intense, nearly sensual pleasure of riding home uphill, INTO the mountains, while all the tourist lemmings drove downhill, OUT OF the mountains.

i will try (i REALLY will) to do a better job next time of scouting out roads for you boys.

but today just wasn't my fault

ride to lean,
Ferris
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Ferris
Posted on Sunday, June 30, 2002 - 10:52 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Snow??? Rain??? Ruh-roh...............
_____________________


Sunday, March 17, 2002 - 08:59 pm .

so sorry, ladies and germs, there'll be no flowery prose forthcoming from me tonite regarding yet another day of slicing and dicing on the scoot thru my particular portion of paved paradise.

(um, the snow on the ground yesterday morning and the cold, pounding rain all day today might have a little something to do with this unpleasant situation...)

hold off on the sympathy cards and e-mails, tho, as it's s'posed to be pushin' 80 by Wednesday...
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Ferris
Posted on Sunday, June 30, 2002 - 10:57 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Nervous??? Ruh-roh...
____________________


and NOW, kids, we're getting close. and NOW, kids, you can start feeling the heat, as the following post from V2win nicely illustrates:

Wednesday, March 27, 2002 - 08:47 am .

I'm getting a little nervous. My bike is still completely apart. Engine is still not together. Body work is in primer only. It's supposed to warm up soon so we can get the paint on but we are still waiting for jugs and pistons to arrive. After being in the parts business for decades I am about to turn into a "customer" and go postal...


ruh-roh, Astro...
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Ferris
Posted on Sunday, June 30, 2002 - 11:02 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

aaaahhhhhhhhh, THIS is better:

Saturday, April 06, 2002 - 09:19 pm .

My cylinders and pistons were shipped 2 days ago. Lower end is just about done. The engine will be put together this week. A little tuning and dyno and the bike will be ready to come home. The updated isolators and new bearings for the swingarm and steering head is a go. New front rotor is waiting for the bike to come back home so it can go on. The primer is on the body. Paint should be complete in about a week. New tires will be on by May 1. John will be on road by May 14. All is falling into place -- V2win


NOW we're talkin'! :)
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Ferris
Posted on Sunday, June 30, 2002 - 11:05 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

alright, SMB's, THIS is more like it!

Sunday, April 28, 2002 - 10:59 pm .

Ferris,
Where and when do you want to meet? I finally got my bike back together. Breaking the engine in this Wed and Thur. Get'n ready to rumble -- V2win
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Ferris
Posted on Sunday, June 30, 2002 - 11:08 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

and then THIS from Racerboy:

Sunday, May 12, 2002 - 02:32 pm .

OKAY!!!...John's beast is breathing great big gulps and we're a GO for Tuesday...I think we both (maybe I should just speak for me) had our doubts if this thing was going to come together...But, now I'm thinking nothing but GOOD thoughts...Just finishing packing and taking a role call...We'll leave EARLY Tuesday morning from Lonedell MO...Watch out Lost Wages, you're only 1,568 miles away...Hell of a way to break in a new engine...

See ya Thursday evening, Ferris!


YEE-FRIKKIN'-HAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Ferris
Posted on Sunday, June 30, 2002 - 11:14 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Godspeed SMB's, see you in Death Valley!!!
____________________________


Monday, May 13, 2002 - 09:58 pm .

The bike is packed.
The tank is full.
The body is old,
But the spirit is willing.
Leaving at daybreak. -- V2win


:) :) :) :) :) :) :)
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Ferris
Posted on Sunday, June 30, 2002 - 11:23 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

CALIFORNIA OR BUST!
_________________________


Wednesday, May 15, 2002 - 12:17 am .

i apologize in advance for my language:

SHIT!

i just got off the phone with Racerboy. his exact words were, "Ferris, stick a fork in us."

he and V2win are in Tulsa, OK, and near as they can tell V2win's S3 has a seized piston.

their grand adventure is done.

i'm way bummed, for them, for me. more, of course, for them. i've been busted on the road before, a long way from where i wanted to be, and i know the feeling. chances are, most of you reading this do, too.

Racerboy was able to laugh, and laugh heartily, as we spoke, a credit to his good-natured outlook on life, and i can't give him enough credit for that. i told him, in all sincerity, that laughter would be in short supply if i were in their boots.

i also told him that the GP was still a go, that dammit, we are gonna do this thing in their honor, the whole enchilada, Death Valley on Thursday, rippin' the Sierras on Friday, Willow Springs and Rim of the World and Big Bear on Saturday, and plenty of hoisted toasts each evening in their honor.

i've made a couple of good friends out of this deal, men i've not even met yet, and i look forward to the day we get to toast each other in person.

in the meantime, the 2002 California Grand Pre-ride is for them.

Ferris Bueller


to be continued...
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