| Author | Message | ||
     Midknyte |
 http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5909207/site/newsweek/site/newsweek/ Whattabunchofpussies! Anyone who has to contemplate saying no to a kid this age has already lost the war... Ok. Off topic, but I just had to say it to someone... | ||
| Koz5150 |
This is my belt, this is your butt. This is my belt on your butt, any questions??? Remember the days when kids would rather stay in jail then be taken home to their parents after getting in trouble??? | ||
| Kelly |
Yes, yes I do remember those days! Now parents are befriending their kids and ruin the position of authority. It is your DUTY to raise your kids to be a productive member of society. | ||
| SouthernMarine |
My Wife and I have decided to write a book teaching parents how to discipline their kids. Man, will we make a fortune or not? Should be pretty simple. "This is how you say No." "NO, AND IF YOU ASK ME AGAIN I'M TAKING MY BELT OFF AND WHIPPING YOUR BUTT, DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?" "YOU HAD BETTER ANSWER WITH YES SIR." I don't know how many times my Wife and I have been dining out with our children and a couple will stop by and compliment us on how well behaved our kids are. One lady asked us one time how we did it. I told her that if they misbehave they know they are getting their butt tore up, either in the bathroom at the restaurant, or when we get home. | ||
| Wyckedflesh |
To bad kids have 1-800-he'swhuppinmyarse to call now. And with the lack of checks and balances with CPS many parents are very afraid of disciplining their kids for fear of either having them taken away or being thrown in jail. I still remember the time I thought I was a big man and talked back to my grandmother...ever been smacked in the face with a cast iron frying pan without either a)loosing any teeth or b) having a bruise left? And hell, I remember having to stand through elementary school one day cause I got my butt whooped for something I deserved. | ||
| SouthernMarine |
Yep Wycked, I got my butt tore up several times in school, with a paddle, for something I deserved as well. When, and if, my parents found out, I would get my butt tore up at home as well. | ||
| Cataract2 |
God, was I ever afraid to tell my parents I got into trouble at school. Oh man, was I ever in for a butt whooping when I got home. My music teacher told us how when he was a kid in school they lived across from the school. One day he got in trouble there. The principle called his mom, took him out to the front of the school and whipped his ••• while his mom watched nodding in aproval. Then when he got home his mom whipped him. If we could do that today I doubt there'd be any problems with kids. | ||
| Softailbuell |
As entirely un PC as it sounds, beat the crap outa your kids. They'll thank you later. And by "beat" I don't mean your angry at life and need to take it out on someone, I mean "you broke the rules and these are the consequences and reprecussions of your actions". I distinctly remember my father telling me the three things he would not abide in his house, a liar, a thief or a cheat, and that each infraction would be 7 lashes more than the last. I never got past the fist infraction in any case. Heaven forbid the school called home. | ||
| Pammy |
Is "getting your butt whooped" truly a normal consequence in real life? (God, I hope not...or I am in for a heck of a beating)I can assure you I have never "whooped" my childrens butts. And I get complemented all the time on how mature and respectful my children are. I don't get a beating when I make a mistake in my life...thank goodness, I would have a perpetual black eye or some such. I bestow, on my children, true life consequences. Loss of priviledge. Loss of my attention(when being spoken to disrespectfully) Even loss of privacy(bedroom door removal works wonders on a teenager). Pulling weeds or any other mundane task is a great deterent to sibling squabbles. I also pick my battles. That took some learning on my part. I only have my kids for a few short years and I want to love them and I hope they love me(it's not a given, you know). Too many rules make for more work than I am willing to keep up with. Too few rules and you end up with a worthless bum. The in between is hard to guage. I know we must raise our own children the way we see fit and use 'what works' for us. But I am just sharing my technique. For the record, my kids know when I say no, there is a reason and sometimes it's just because I say so. I hope no one was offended during my lengthy diatribe. If so come see me and I will give you a paddling, the likes you have never witnessed.  I need to see what I have been missing... | ||
| Newfie_buell |
Being the father of 4 very active children who are also spoiled it can be difficult. The other thing is that they are all so different in each and every way. Be grateful that we have healthy little ones there are a lot out there that are not so fortunate. | ||
| Reepicheep |
That remove the door trick is a keeper Pammy! Great thinking... | ||
| Cj_xb |
Excellent post Pammy !! If you have to truly "beat the crap" out of your kids YOU are doing something wrong, you can figure out something without resorting to that !! CJ  | ||
| Wyckedflesh |
I can honestly say that though it works for you Pammy, I was such a child that the negative reinforcements you suggested above would not have affected me. I too have been blessed with kids that are very well behaved. The butt whoopins were a last resort method when timeouts or loss of privlidges didn't work, and I can honestly count the number of times that it came to a butt whoppin' on one hand between 3 kids. But, I know quite a few of my kids' friends whose parents are at a loss. They have done everything the books have said minus the butt whoppin and the kids are still unruly, they are the types of kids I was. The butt whoppins I received I deserved, with one or two exceptions, I ALWAYS pushed things to that point. Not all kids and yours definatley sound like the type to "get it" when they do something wrong and as I say my kids also get it. When I say butt whoppin, its 3 swats with an open hand. No belt or any additive. That was the threat if they did it after getting swatted. And I can remember back to a few times even pushing getting my butt swatted with my mom to have her resort to an additive. The elementary school day for example. I did deserve the butt whoopin I got. Won't say what I did though but I did deserve what I got. It did involve being out after cerfew and a $2000 set of glass doors though...But what I am saying is basically in some childrens makeup, it doesn't matter how the parents are, we are destructive in nature and the things mentioned above weren't deterents. I could sit in the corner for hours and it was just like taking a nap sitting up. The being grounded was no big deal because generally I still got to goof off with my friends at school and we all lived far enough apart that after school generally didn't happen anyways. I didn't have the door on my room til it was found it made it easier for me to sneak out(sexually active at a young age). Removal of TV privlidges...it was the 70's and we didn't have cable, you go figure See what I am getting at? Today you can take away the phone, the TV the Playstation and have it mean something. And because of it many of us as parents do have alternatives in general, but IMHO there comes a point where some children just won't get the idea without a reminder of a more lasting resort. Or there is an activity that the child just needs forceful reinforcement to get the to stop doing. | ||
| Daves |
If I would've ever looked my Mom in the face like that I'd have gotten knocked across the room! I think I got spanked by my parents about 4 or 5 times that I can remember. I deserved every one of them and more. I love my parents. I am glad I don't have kids! Dave | ||
| Newfie_buell |
They are worth trouble and agravation. We have never whooped any butts but sometimes I wish ........ I don't think any kind of violence is good, one day a while back my youngest took a chair put it in the corner and sat in it. We call it the "Thinking Chair" where they can go and think about what they did. Apparently he did something nasty to his sister's stuff and was punishing himself. They are all unique and funny...... | ||
| Glitch |
My boys know the word no. They also know that no means no. They have figured that one on their own. Because after they are told no, the answer doesn't change. Concistancy, stability, and starting at the beginning, that's what I've done. The "parents" that have a problem with their children at a certain age, often ignore the fact that the problem isn't a new one, just the same problem with a now older child. | ||
| Buellkowski |
Our little guy (our first) is almost 4 months old and my wife & I have already discussed how we're planning to handle discipline: 1. We will be united, 2. We will be consistent, 3. We will be unequivocal. Though we don't intend to hit, there's just no telling how mad we will get sometimes. Most of us would probably agree that we'll consider it a triumph if we can get the desired result without hitting. Thankfully, we don't have enough money to spoil him... (Message edited by buellkowski on September 08, 2004) | ||
| Blake |
"If so come see me and I will give you a paddling, the likes you have never witnessed. I need to see what I have been missing..." Careful Pammy, you may have to start a discussion forum all your own to support the interest in your offer. There are a lot of strange people out there. "Spank-o-Rama"? Shall I make a new banner for you?  | ||
| Tripper |
I received this idea from my sister. I have'nt tried it yet so I don't know how effective it is... ================ Tough Love vs. Spanking; Most of America's populace thinks it very improper to spank children, so my spouse and I have tried other methods to control our kids when they have one of "those moments". One that we found very effective is for me to just take the child for a car ride and talk. They usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our little car ride together. I've included the photo below of one of my sessions, with our son, in case you would like to use the technique. It's very effective! . . . . . . . . . . . . .  | ||
| X1glider |
A way too high percentage of kids these days are lazy, have no ambition beyond video games, lack discipline, are unhealthy, have no manners and are disrespectful. Sometimes they lack personal hygiene.  I'll blame the parents who do everything for and give everything to their kids, unearned, wether it be out of thinking it will make them happy or as a means to pacify them as opposed to being a parent. I believe in the reward system. If you want someting, earn it, wether it be stuff, money or freedom. I also believe in the removal of the afforementioned as discipline or punishment. A good healthy talking to with explanations of the who, why, what, where and how kind work on thise with a good foundation of respect and discipline. If that doesn't work, then a good *ss beating works wonders. I turned out alright as did a whole 'nother generation of others. Everyone has to live by rules and expectations, no matter what age. What makes the newest generation think they're exempt of the same? Nothing wrong with tough love either. They'll either sink or swim. Either way, they'll learn something. | ||
| Court |
My sons, now 23 and 25, remain my best friends. I considered my primary role as a parent to become increasingly disposable to my children culminating at about age 18. Don't get me wrong, I want to be with them, do things, hang out and enjoy life. I just wanted them perfectly able to function as independant units. Bryce Hunter is in San Diego knocking 'em dead at his first "real" job since graduating. Colin is loading a truck in Lawrence, KS today, headed to chase his dreams in a recording studio. Love is love. Tough may be a style, but consistent always works. Mine has seen my character flaws, weaknesses and strengths. I aspire to be no more than the best I can. The best investment I ever made was spending time reading these a series of stories I wrote (Mike and Moe Miller from Monett, MO) when they were kids. I took the opportunity nightly, to explain that they were loved JUST because. It didn't require a mimimum SAT or a gold medal in pole vaulting. Love was a given. I wonder, personally I'd vote yes, if riding a motorcycle influences the way we parent? Check these out.   | ||
| Budo |
There is a fine line (or perhaps not so fine) between disipline and abuse. My father in-law whipped my brother in-law across the legs with a belt until his legs bled (stories from my wife from when they were small). Might have gone too far there, hmmm. Sure kids have to have bounderies and know them. However paddelings, whippings, beatings, simply send the mesage that it is ok to hit someone. In my opinion only, not that I know anything. In some cases a child is out of control and there seems to be nothing that anyone can do. Might have to go to a professional conselor or apply for early admittance to the Marine Corps. As always YMMV. | ||
| Budo |
Great looking kids Court, you'r a lucky parent. | ||
| Signguyxb12 |
Sorry Budo but i think luck had little to do with it(no trying to nit pick) But people that see how well behave my daughter is in public say " Your lucky " I immediately correct them " Had work, not luck is my tool i use" I also think that people in this era don't love their kids enough: got to have the fancy house, cars, soccer practice, etc. Kids spell love T-I-M-E | ||
| Pammy |
I honestly do believe that I am lucky. My kids are great...I don't take the credit for it(nor would they let me) I would also be reluctant to take the credit if they turned out to be serial killers(I had my worries about my younger one, she is TOO much like me.) If I spank my kids, my psyche tells me that their realization of the event would be 'she did that because she is bigger than me'. In reality it doesn't matter what you, the parent, means. It only matters what he/she, the child, perceives. Of course, that is the way it is for us grown ups as well. But we have the real world experience and can timeline events that may have lead up to the consequence that we are facing. An example from my household: My daughter doesn't want to clean her room. She becomes aggitated when I bring up the subject. Do I make a federal case over the deal? Nope...Do I clean it?...Nope. I don't need the aggrevation myself. What is the worst thing that happens when the room isn't clean? Nothing bad happens to me. But if any of that nastiness should make its way to any other part of the house...in the trash it goes. CD player, DVD, make-up, her favorite book, homework. Too bad...In my house the consequence fits the action(for the most part). You better believe that she keeps her belongings in her control. If she slams a door in my house, I will take hers off the hinge. Tell me one teenager that doesn't covet privacy. If you lie to me, you will lose my trust. If you skip school, I will go to school with you. Not only that, I will walk you to every class and make you apologize to each teacher for taking them for granted. So in my house, consequences are true to life. After all, my job is to prepare my child to tackle life as competently and as fore armed as possible. I set an example. I listen. I ask questions and I observe. I didn't expect my kids to raise themselves. I am there to guide not to be the equivalent to an electric fence to smack'em when they get out of line... But you can ask my kids the difference between right and priviledge and I can guarantee they could tell you in exact detail. I wouldn't dare to judge anyone on their child rearing choices. But to knowingly lash out in anger at a being ,smaller and more helpless than oneself, smacks of abuse of power in my mind. If I offend you or wrong you, should you strike me? If you do, how much respect for you would I garner? Again, I apologize for the long post. If I have worn out my welcome, please don't strike me... You are all welcome to sign up for a good old fashioned leg switchin'...Blake, that goes double for you...you have been a bit ornery as of late...where did I put my hickory? | ||
| Pammy |
Oh and by the way...Both my children have held gainful employment(not at my shop)since the age of 15. | ||
| Pammy |
"I still got to goof off with my friends at school" How much "goofing off" with friends would you do with your Mom sitting in the desk next to you. I am serious about parental participation. | ||
| Road_thing |
 I like parental participation, too. I'm the one on the left. Taken about a month ago. rt | ||
| M2me |
I am not a parent so I won't comment on parenting skills. What I will comment on is the constant view that the kids today aren't as disciplined, aren't as well behaved as we were. This same thing goes all the way back to Adam and Eve. Every generation says the same thing. What's the matter with kids today? Why can't they be like we were, perfect in every way?  | ||
| Court |
Okay...I got one more and I'll quit. This is the one on the way.  Tom...did you say you were on the left? All I see is a field of gray! |
