| Author | Message | ||
     Southernmarine |
Okay, heres the deal. I agreed to have the old boys nipped. Yes, I said I would allow the Doc to go downstairs and snip me. GOOD LORD HOW I REGRET IT ALREADY. I'm laying here in bed placing an ice pack on the old boys once every hour. The wife couldn't have it done because of her medical condition (medically too dangerous for her) and well I've got four boys so I said yeah, I'll do it. I went in this morning and they give me two valiums to take prior. That was supposed to "relax" me. How the hell do they expect a guy to relax knowing that someone is going downstairs cutting on him? Well they start the procedure. "How do you feel? Nervous?" Hell Yes I'm nervous. Am I supposed to be comfortable with a guy grabbing my balls and squeezing them? "Well, we need you to relax." As he grabs my balls and squeezes the hell out of them. He gives me a shot of lidocain and says that should do it. HELL NO. He squeezes, I yell. "Does it hurt?" NO I'm yelling with excitement and joy. "Man, your scrotum is really sensitive." NO CRAP. They wind up giving me three shots of lidocain, just on the left side. Now this procedure is supposed to take 15 minutes for both sides. After an hour of working on the left side they finish it and start on the right side. They start and of course it hurts like hell, so they give me three more shots on the right side. After about 5-10 minutes I'm not feeling too much, except him squeezing my balls. Pressure's not bad though. He finally says, we've got a problem. I'm having a hard time finding your Vass (not sure how to spell it, but that's what it sounded like), the cord they need to cut to make my hard working boys unable to produce any more kids. They made a cut and evidently the vass slipped away, AGAIN. So the Doc tells me I HAVE TO COME BACK NEXT WEEK TO HAVE THE RIGHT SIDE DONE. GOOD LORD WHEN DOES THE TORTURE END. I walked out and told the wife she OWED me for this. "Why, it wasnt' that bad was it?" WOMAN, THEY ONLY DID HALF AND I HAVE TO COME BACK NEXT WEEK FOR MORE OF THIS TORTURE. I should have listened to the signs when he started on the left side and he told me he was having a hard time finding the damn thing to cut. HELLO UP THERE, I DON'T WANT TO BE CUT. This must be payback from hell for all the dogs we've had snipped. So, my lazy butt is laying in bed relaxing and it's gonna stay here for a day or three and next week when I HAVE TO FINSIH THIS GOD AWFUL PROCEDURE, I'm gonna lay around and make her wait on me hand and foot. Get this, after the Doc did the left side and before he started on the right he said, "You don't have to worry about having any trauma to your vascular cords, they're very well protected." I looked at him and asked him what the hell does it matter when I WON'T BE ABLE TO HAVE KIDS ANYMORE ANYWAY AFTER YOU'RE FINISHED? The moral of this story, THINK, THINK, THINK, TWICE, THREE TIMES, FOUR, OR FIVE, before getting a vasectomey. edited by SouthernMarine on April 30, 2004 | ||
| Buellbob |
You got your self a quack man. Go somewhere else. I got snipped and never got that kind of treatment. Took about 1/2 hr. and a couple of days taking it easy then back to work. Bob. | ||
| Ocbueller |
Thank God my wife finally relented and had her tubes tied. I have an unnatural fear of sharp objects near my gonads. BUELL CONTENT:I need my boys in order to ride my Buells properly. SteveH | ||
| Southernmarine |
Too late for that, he's got half the job done. Evidently this is the first time anything like this has happened to him, and he does quite a few of them. My boys just didn't want to be cut. My anatomy is very protective of certain parts of my body. I had a cyst removed from my left kidney over two years ago and what was supposed to be a two hour surgery wound up being 5 hours because the cyst wound up have 5 arteries wrapped around it. Doc said he'd never seen anything like it. Same thing with this Doc and the vasectomy, said he'd never seen anything like it. Would have to happen to me. Hell, when my oldest was six months old he had surgery on his intestines, they were mal-rotated and almost cut themselves in half. When the Doc opened him up they found his appendix on the left side of his body, thankfully they took it out then. Got a sack of frozen peas on the old boys right now. I took my first leak since the procedure and it hurt like a mother. P.S. Nobody worry, the peas are strictly for icing the old boys off. I wouldn't even feed these to my dogs. edited by SouthernMarine on April 30, 2004 | ||
| Shotgun |
Don't worry. It'll hurt for the short term but tell the Doc he owes you a tatoo between navel and dick, "Safest Man In Town". | ||
| Buckinfubba |
half hour and it was done didn't feel a thing... guess they'd had too much abuse prior to that day. 2 days later back to work and I have have been clean and free for years now.....and my girl already was fixed....whats wrong with me.... pre-emtive strike....no surprises | ||
| Gpowell |
No big deal if you have a good doc. 1st side went so quick and easy, I sat up and watched them do the other side. Better than getting the teeth cleaned. | ||
| Aesquire |
The vascular cord thing, I think ( not a DR. ! ) means that woodies will be no problem. In the future I mean, They would be a real issue now, as would laughing at this post. So don't. | ||
| Swampy |
QUACK, QUACK, QUACK!!!! FOR GODS SAKE DON'T HIRE A PLUMMER TO FIX THE ELECTRICAL!!! Find the best urologist there is that does vasectomies 10 times a day and pay him!!! This should have been the easiest thing to do, unless you have 3 vas(Common in the U. P.) Anyone want to hear about my war story, the one about the two grapefruit fighting over the same bag? I have pictures somewhere to prove it. The F'IN wifey(dearly beloved) Brings me home and plops me on the couch and then proceeds to sleep for the next three days! Me left to fend for myself and the 2YO boy(jumping on my stomach) and the 7YO boy. This all happened more then ten years ago and I still have issues about it. Picture me cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry with a couple of grapefruit hanging between my legs. It was three weeks before my knees would touch. Yes, we are still married, but F'IT, I wouldn't do it again for that unappreciative BEE-OTCH. I need to go ride now thank you. | ||
| Southernmarine |
Down here in Yuma we have one guy at our Med Clinic and I have no choice but to use him. He actually does quite a few and on a regular basis. Sorry you had such a bad time with yours Swampy. I wouldn't have done this for my ex-wife, she would have treated me like yours did. Have a good ride. | ||
| Rex |
you are lucky. a friend of mine went in for the operation and went back to work directly after...That night they both were swollen the size of basketballs, no kidding...He was out of work for over three days, getting his balls back to normal size...He said he would never ever recommend the procedure.....Another friend of mine said that they pulled on his tubes so hard it pulled him straight up in bed... At the airport, mens journal, or one of the mens magazines had an article on how to castorate yourself...If you think a clip is bad, try the full cut...whoaaa...sick already....... | ||
| Newfie_buell |
Should have got one of your kids to do it. 20 minutes later and I was a "Sport Model" | ||
| Jerseyguy |
Took about a half hour for me and I had no pain or problems whatsoever. I put headphones on and read a magazine while they did the deed. My biggest fear was that I'd get aroused when the nurse shaved me .... I think they did something with a rubber band to cancel that possibility. | ||
| Ray_maines |
A vasectomy seems to be kind of like a root cannel. It either goes seriously bad or it's a piece of cake. My two root cannels went fine but the snip job was just horrible. The doc had tripped and taken a tumble while playing tennis that morning. He broke the fall with his right hand and, therefore, did my operation with his left hand. I was in bed and in misery for three days but I've got friends that went back to work later the same day. ••••, I was lucky to breath later the same day. I didn't know my twenty year old fridge could make that much ice. All things considered, getting a vasectomy was the right thing to do, but it could have gone better. Having sex without foam or rubbers is worth the pain. | ||
| Buellbob |
Shooting blanks does have its rewards if you get my drift! Bob | ||
| Bomber |
two days later and I was rockin (although standing a little taller than normal!) . . .I remember being mightly pissed that the sawbones was using what looked like a Radio Shack shouldering pencil to cauterize the end of the tubes, though . . . .. .seems like, for that kinda dough, he's use something from GE Medical or Johns Hopkins or sumpin! I made the mistake of trying to kick-start the high-compression hot-rodded thumper, though, and that had me walking tentatively for another day or three . . . .. . good luck, southern | ||
| Southernmarine |
Thanks Bomber. Yeah, I gotta wait a few days before hoppin on the little Blast. Thinking back the Doc did kinda make me a little nervous when he kept saying, "Damn, it slipped out of my hands again." Lost track of how many times he said that. Evidently the tube he was cutting kept slipping out of his hand which made it difficult and took so long. Like I said before though, my body was telling me that I shouldn't have been getting this done. Too late now though. Told my Mom and she laughed her a@@ off. | ||
| Wyckedflesh |
Southern, I am in the same boat as you. I suffered a couple of Torsions as a teen that left alot of scar tissue. Went to have it done and the doc backed out after 20 mins. Said he couldn't do it unless he made it an overnighter. |
