| Author | Message | ||
     P_squared |
In the interests of some levity on a Friday, I submit the following: PHONES IN CHURCH A man in Topeka, Kansas decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco and started working east from there. Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign, which read "Calls: $10,000 a minute." Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and the sign. The pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to heaven, and if he pays the price he can talk directly to GOD. The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in Seattle, Phoenix, Salt Lake City, Denver, Oklahoma City, and around the United States, he found more phones, with the same sign, and the same answer from each pastor. Finally, he arrived in Texas. Upon entering a church in Dallas, behold - he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read "Calls: 35 cents." Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor. "Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to GOD, but in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads only 35 cents a call. Why?" The pastor, smiling benignly, replied, "Son, you're in Texas now, which is God's Country. It's a local call." | ||
| Danger_dave |
WTF??? - it's 20 to 8 on Saturday morning here right now. :-) | ||
| P_squared |
Then that call will cost you $20,000 Dave. You're not even in the right DAY!  | ||
| Blake |
+++++  | ||
| Kyrocket |
I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my beer and noticed that everybody was staring at me. Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod. | ||
| Ochoa0042 |
thats a good one  | ||
| Vampress |
When the Pope dies and goes to heaven, Saint Peter shows him to his new quarters - a tiny one bedroom apartment! The Pope is horrified and demands to know why he doesn't have the penthouse apartment, which is huge. Saint Peter informs him that the penthouse is already occupied by a lawyer. 'A lawyer? But I'm the Pope, surely I'm more important than a lawyer!' 'With respect, Sir,' says Saint Peter, 'We have lots of popes up here, but we only have ONE lawyer!' | ||
| Hmartin |
When I die, I want to die like my grandmother - peacefully in her sleep, not screaming like the other passengers in her car. | ||
| Oldog |
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod. | ||
| Vortec57 |
A man was pulled over by a good looking female trooper for drunken driving. She tells him "Anything you say will be held against you.' The drunken man then yells "TITTIES!" |
