| Author | Message | ||
     Nevrenuf |
i am writing this for my sister mary ellen porter kemp latine i've kinda been avoiding putting anything on here lately because some of the crap that gets posted. and although some of the things i've said isn't any better by some standards, anyone on here who knows me personally can attest to what kind of a person i try to be every day. but today, after trying to find out from my one brother(i have 4 and 2 sisters)as to how my mother is doing since she's by herself right now, i find out that he is headed to erie from pittsburgh to visit the younger sister who he just found out from her son that she only has a couple days at best to live. although she is an adopted sister, she has been with our family since she was around 7. she was the daughter of my mother's cousin. the story i remember was both her parents were killed in an automobile accident. although as kids we used to fight all the time, (maybe i was jealous cause she had her own room and i had to share with 3 of the brothers) when we got a little older we tended to get along better. when i got out of the service, i used to spend a good bit of time with her just talking and enjoying her company. by that time she had already alienated herself from the rest of the family with her choice in husbands. they would eventually divorce. unfortunately when i left for florida back in the early 80's, we never had much contact after that until i came back to pittsburgh for a year and even then it was brief at best. when i moved back to florida back in 88, i might have talked to her maybe one more time. by that time she had gotten divorced and ended up in another relationship that wasn't as bad but not that good either from what i was told. even if i did try to get up to erie today to see her, it wouldn't make a big difference cause from what my brother understands, she can't even talk right now. apparently the kemo has not done a very good job. although the oldest son is there, i have no idea if her significant other is still in the picture. hope to find out more later this evening. fortunately we didn't part company on bad terms. unfortunately we never stayed in touch. i kept on putting off having my daughter get a number from her cousin so i could just say hello and see how she's doing. i will totally regret not having done that. coming from a fairly large family, especially at this age i've thought about who would be the first to go of my siblings. or would i be the first so i wouldn't have to think about it. i never thought that this day would come so soon. and especially not like this. when my aunt(my dad's brother's wife) died some 23 years ago, she was so ate up with cancer the had to have a closed casket. and from what my brother was also told, she is ate up pretty bad. nothing but a bag of bones. so for me not to go up there, i'm probably better off not going cause that isn't the way i want to remember her. the only thing i can hope for at this point is if there is an afterlife, that i get to see her as i remember her and if there's a heaven, like we all hope there is, i also hope that she's well takin care of. she's been through a lot all of her life and deserves to go to a better place. the next day or so isn't gonna be that great. especially knowing what to expect. i know we all have to go through this part of life and to everyone who has gone through this with anyone, no matter what the situation was, i truly share your grief right now and wish i never had to share it with anyone else. i am thankful that the last time we talked, it was on good terms. it would be so much harder if it wasn't. she will be missed. "life is to short, how do you want to be remembered" | ||
| F_skinner |
Neil, Lynn and my prayers are with you and your sister. | ||
| Iamike |
Neil, It is so hard when life deals someone the bad hand. On the other hand though, as hard as it is to see someone suffer it gives the family time to sort things out. In an accident, it is over in a flash. I have had people tell me that they had just argued with a child or spouse only to have them die in an accident later that day. What a terrrible memory to have to keep. When my younger sister was diagnosed with a most likely fatal disease (it was). It gave us 7 years to talk about things and make life in order. As hard as it was to see her suffer, she kept her head up and never complained. Her young daughter was able to spend time with her before the inevitible. Good luck and god speed. | ||
| Court |
I went through the same thing with my sister less than a year ago. It changed me. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Court | ||
| Dynasport |
Neil, I am very sorry to hear about your sister. I am not very good about keeping up with people myself, and there are a number of people, both friends and family members, who meant a great deal to me at one time, that I have not kept in touch with. Things like this serve to remind me and motivate me to do a better job at being a good friend and family member. In fact, just today I bought plane tickets to go visit my mother and sister, who I rarely see these days. And Neil, even though we have yet to meet, I think I live just around the corner from you. I would be happy to meet you for a cup of coffee some time if you'd like to talk/vent. I am also the interim (temporary) pastor at Cornerstone Baptist on Parsons next to the assisted living facility. I would love to see you there tomorrow. If you come, please say hi to me. It will be pretty obvious who I am. Dan | ||
| Bcordb3 |
Neil, Very sad news, It good that you shared with the group. In our way we are all brothers and want to be there when needed. My family will remember her in prayer. God Bless. | ||
| Bill0351 |
Prayers sent off in your direction. I am leaving in just a few minutes to have dinner with my little sister. This is just another reminder that as far as we know, we are only getting one shot at this life. It's important to not let the important people in our world ever forget how we feel about them. Good luck to all of you. Bill | ||
| Brumbear |
You are in my prayers I mean that sincerely Dave | ||
| Rocketsprink |
sorry | ||
| Firebolt32 |
Very sorry to hear Neil. I recently lost my grandfather and neighbor (who was like another grandfather to me)because of this. It hurts now...but you'll smile soon. Stay strong bud! | ||
| Wolfridgerider |
You are in my thoughts.... | ||
| Sifo |
Neil, You've got our prayers. Life is so often not fair. Make the most of each day. Try to avoid the regrets. Treasure the memories. | ||
| Greenlantern |
My thoughts and prayers for you and yours. Randy | ||
| Ulywife |
Thoughts and prayers for you and your family Neil. | ||
| Fran_dog |
Neil, my thoughts and prayers are with you, your sister, and your family. Fran | ||
| Blake |
Hang tough Neil. You and Lynn are in my prayers. | ||
| Rich |
Sorry Neil. I went through it las year with my brother. | ||
| Nevrenuf |
thank you everyone for your well wishes. it means a lot. after my brother got done with his visit with her, he called me last night on his way home back to pittsburgh to fill me in. and although she isn't bed ridden like our nephew had made it out to be, he said that she could go anytime or it could drag out for a few weeks at best. she has no tongue do to the cancer and had reconstructive surgery on her mouth a couple of times. she's a 50 year old that looks like an 80 year old and just as frail. the kemo has not done her any good, in fact it seems it just made things worse which is why she has decided to quit the kemo. she has succumbed to the idea that she doesn't have that long to live and will just take it one day at a time. knowing now that things could drag out longer than first mentioned doesn't make things any better. knowing that she will be subject to more pain each and every day that she lives on hurts all the more. i just wish she didn't have to suffer anymore. i truly wish no one had to go through this. thanks again for the well wishes. | ||
| Jlnance |
Neil, I hate this for you. Hang in there and keep us up to date. | ||
| Etennuly |
Neil, I am sorry to hear this situation has hit a member of your family. IMHO.....go.....give her a hug. This situation is about her. All she can take with her is the love of others. You can always remember her how she was. I can tell you I missed that last one with my dad. It was due to a job, family situations(four children all having places to be), distance, and timing. The biggest prioritizing mistake I ever made. A year later I helped his brother(my favorite uncle, who's grown children had the same problems as I did with my dad's final days) through his final weeks with his fight with cancer, proximity played a big part in that, those were some of my best days. | ||
| Firemanjim |
Neil, I understand what you are going though. I just did the same with an old and dear friend, sat and watched him pass away from cancer. Damn shame it takes such good people. I am over at his place now getting stuff sorted out. Live each day like it is your last and never miss an opportunity to tell your loved ones how you feel. | ||
| Stingaroo |
Neil, I am saddened to hear about your sister. I helped carry Alex's and my friend Tomy to the hospital days before he passed away from cancer. I second guessed going in to talk to him before I had to report for duty the following day but I did. One thing that stands out is this little bit of advice he gave me, "we all go the same way home" I pray for you and your family. | ||
| Reepicheep |
Sorry Neil... I just went through this with my father in law, who was very much a father to me. The transition is odd... you go from being immersed in the day to day and watching them in terrible pain (or heavy medication), to feeling some relief (for them and you) that it is over. But then you get this kind of gnawing hole that seems to get bigger with time, not smaller. Savor the time you have and the people around you... | ||
| Mortarmanmike120 |
I don't have anything to add. No words of wisdom from me. I'm sorry to hear about her struggle. Prayers sent your way. | ||
| Pammy |
Hang on my friend. Make the best of the time you do have. Cancer does suck, indeed. | ||
| Hdbobwithabuell |
This is what keeps me coming back to this board. We often agree, disagree, fight, bad mouth one another or otherwise try to either make friends or piss someone off. In the end, even though I don't personally know many of you, I feel that I could confide in most anyone here. More than most online "communities" could boast. Nevrenuf - let us know if there is anything any of us can do for you. My sister and I have the exact same relationship and I can only imagine what you are going though. | ||
| Rpm4x4 |
Unfortunately Ive lived with someone that was in their final months in fighting a battle with cancer. I wouldnt wish this on anyone. Neil, My heart goes out to you and your sister. BTW, everybody fought with their sisters when they were kids so dont let that eat you. | ||
| Indybuell |
Sorry Man. I watched it take my grandpa. | ||
| Paint_shaker |
Neil, Keep the faith. My thoughts are with you and your family. | ||
| Glitch |
We're with ya Neil. Need anything? |
