| Author | Message | ||
     Fullpower |
loud mouth bastard. newfie please.. i resemble that remark. | ||
| Bartimus |
Hey now!!! I be hoser!! | ||
| Newfie_buell |
Cj, As you know me - I am a rather modest man/boy!!!!  Now for some more pictures that were sent to me by a very very good friend today.     | ||
| Nevco1 |
Newfie...That is PRICELESS !!! | ||
| Newfie_buell |
Hey Bill, Come up here and I'll introduce you to Dildo!!!! ....................that did not come out right. I'll take you to Dildo!!!!!!!! OK, I will guide you in the direction to the town of Dildo!!! | ||
| Dullorb |
So it's like moose, one dildo, many dildo? | ||
| Innes |
I did a little latin at skool, shouldn't it be DILDI?  | ||
| Wyckedflesh |
Newfie...since I resemble that story I just had to send it to my gilrfriend...mmmm Canadian women | ||
| Newfie_buell |
Canadian Women are just way too wonderful!!!! | ||
| Newfie_buell |
This is the NFLD version of Fountain Of Waynes song "Stacy's Mom." Play the song in the background as you read this. Stacy's mudder is wickin-lookin', brudder! Stacy's mudder is wickin-lookin', brudder! Stacy's mudder is wickin-lookin', brudder! Stacy's mudder is wickin-lookin', brudder! Stacy can I come over after phys-ed? (after phys-ed) We can fart around in yer shed (in yer shed) Did your mudder get back from her fishin' trip? (fishin' trip) She's tree-undred pounds 'n' got a bad hip. (how's 'er bad hip?) You know I'm not the little bye that I was before. I'm all grown-up now missus, sure. Stacy's mudder is wickin-lookin', brudder! She turns me on, when she's bent over da rudder. She's friggin' hot, like Nan's drawn butter. Der is no udder, I'se in love with Stacy's mudder. Stacy's mudder is wickin-lookin', brudder! Stacy's mudder is wickin-lookin', brudder! Stacy do ya remember when I mowed your lawn? (Mowed your lawn) Your mudder came out with just her rubbers on. (Rubbers on) I could tell she liked me cuz her lazy eye stared (Lazy eye stared) And the way she said "Buddy, sumthin' smeels queer." (Sumthin' smells queer) And I knows that youse thinks I'm full of shit. But since your fadder walked out your mudder wants to get a bit. Stacy's mudder is wickin-lookin', brudder! She f-frigs me up and m-makes me s-stutter. She's friggin' hot, me mind beez in da gutter. Der is no udder, I'se in love with Stacy's mudder. Stacy's mudder is wickin-lookin', brudder! She turns me on, when she's bent over da rudder. She's friggin' hot, like Nan's drawn butter. Der is no udder, I'se in love with Stacy's mudder. I'se in love with Stacy's mudder. She's friggin' hot, me mind beez in da gutter. Der is no udder, I'se in love with Stacy's mudder! ...." For those that need a translation of the lingo, come here in August with the Gang from Michigan and Mass | ||
| Cj_xb |
As you know me - I am a rather modest man/boy!!!! Newf - NOT CJ  | ||
| Spiderman |
Now I am gonna be thing of that every time I hear that Song thanks Newf LOL | ||
| Newfie_buell |
CJ, I really can't help it if the world revolves around ME!!!!Thats the way it was created!!!! | ||
| Bartimus |
Try this link for a good slap on the butt http://www.mxfiles.kneib.biz/drag_and_go_back_spezial.html | ||
| Fullpower |
bart she's a cutie. how can i get her to turn around? | ||
| Newfie_buell |
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Thats so Cool!!!!!!!!!!! I think the snow is starting to get to my brain. | ||
| Fullpower |
she is a limber young lass, think i recognize her from a yoga class. now how do you get her to turn around? | ||
| Cj_xb |
"When I die, I want to die like my grandfather -- who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car." -Author Unknown "What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?" -Marilyn Pittman Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children" -Author Unknown "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar." -Drew Carey "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." -Rod Stewart "The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house. -Jeff Foxworthy "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base." -Dave Barry "Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp." -Bob Ettinger "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God.... I could be eating a slow learner." -Lynda Montgomery "If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." -Johnny Carson "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty, and that's the law." -Jerry Seinfeld | ||
| Buckinfubba |
life is like sex. its more fun to live it ,than to think about it. bubbalonian philosphy 101  | ||
| Dullorb |
...and the more you enjoy it the more likely you are to experience a burnining sensation afterwards.  | ||
| Bartimus |
ah... if you have a burning sensation afterwards, Your doing it with the wrong person | ||
| Socoken |
or just going to damn fast | ||
| Dullorb |
life or sex? | ||
| Buckinfubba |
how about both sexlife | ||
| Dullorb |
She asked me if I wanted some super sex and got mad when I chose the soup. | ||
| Wyckedflesh |
I am a lesbian trapped in a man's Body | ||
| Mr_grumpy |
I always thought the US legal system was crazy, now I know it. My Sis sent me this & generous soul that I am, I'll share it with you.......... STELLA AWARDS 2003 - to make your hair stand on end!!!! It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella awards. The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued Macdonald's. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States. Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating Macdonald's, the teens who allege that eating at Macdonald's has made them fat, was filed after the 2003 award voting was closed. This suit will top the 2004 awards list without question. 5th place (Tie). Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving toddler was Ms Robertson's son. 5th place (Tie). 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps. 5th place (tie). Terrence Dickson of Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family were on vacation and Mr Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the house owner's Insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the tune of $500,000. 4th place. Jerry Williams of Little Rock Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbours Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been a little provoked at the time as Mr Williams, who had climbed over the fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun. 3rd place. A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms.Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. 2nd place. Kara Walton of Claymont Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club in a neighbouring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms. Walton was trying to sneak out of the window in the Ladies Room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses. 1st Place. This year's runaway winner was Mr Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City. Mr Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor Home. On his trip home from a football game, having driven onto the Freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly the RV left the Freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him that in the owner's manual that he could not actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor Home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles. | ||
| Newfie_buell |
Me Brothers A Newfoundlander walks into a bar in Halifax, orders three drafts of Keith's and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells him "You know, a draft goes flat after I draw it, it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Newfoundlander replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Toronto, the other is in Boston, and I'm here in Halifax.When we all left home we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we drank together. So I drink one for each o'me brothers and one for myself." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom and leaves it there. The Newfoundlander becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way. He orders three pints and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss." The Newfoundlander looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns and he laughs, "Oh, no, everybody's just fine." He explains. "It's just that my wife had us join the Pentecostal Church and I had to quit drinking........ Hasn't affected me brothers though." | ||
| Bartimus |
An old Indian chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking a ceremonial pipe and eyeing two U.S. government officials sent to interview him. "Chief Two Eagles," asked one official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his material wealth. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done." The chief nodded in agreement. The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?" The chief stared at the government officials for over a minute and then calmly replied, "When white man found the land, Indians were running it. No taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, women did all the work, medicine man free, Indian man spent all day hunting and fishing, all night having sex." Then the chief leaned back and smiled, "Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that." | ||
| Thunderbolt_dad |
http://www.StellaAwards.com Most if not all of the 'Stella' awards listed in the post above are urban tales, blatantly not true when researched. However the link is to a website that is composed of carefully researched, recorded law suits that are even more humorous (and might I say frightening?) than the fables.....as they say...truth is stranger than fiction. |
