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Buell Motorcycle Forum » Quick Board Archives » Archive through April 26, 2009 » I need to update my will, how does this sound... « Previous Next »

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Lemonchili_x1
Posted on Sunday, April 19, 2009 - 07:25 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

"I,__________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

Glass of wine
Chocolate
Margarita
Sex
Chocolate
Steak
Coffee
Sex
Mexican food
Chocolate
Cheeseburgers
French Fries
Pizza
Sex
Ice cream
Strawberries
Chocolate
Coffee
Daiquiri
Sex
Chocolate

It should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, let the 'fat lady sing,' and call it a day! "





Have a Drink IT'S 5 O'CLOCK SOMEWHERE
cheers,
chili
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Nevrenuf
Posted on Sunday, April 19, 2009 - 07:50 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

i'd be asking, "where's my bike"
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Cityxslicker
Posted on Sunday, April 19, 2009 - 08:46 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

You could just get a DNR tattoo on your chest.
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Corporatemonkey
Posted on Monday, April 20, 2009 - 05:21 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

You forgot to mention "sex" : )


Seriously I have a great will.

I have stated my remains are going to be donated to science (seriously), but I have a clause.

Turns out you can get around $1500 for your carcass. This is usually paid by a county morgue. Yet they sell you to a university for upwards of $3k.

So my will states that I am to go to science for no less than $3k. I really can't use the money, but the though of the middle man making a profit off me just irks me.

Much like the state of washington denying my personalized license plate: ORGDNR
They thought that was morbid on a motorcycle.

I figure causing controversy even in death is fitting,,,
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Bill0351
Posted on Monday, April 20, 2009 - 07:51 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Maybe you could just have your corpse listed on ebay. It would be interesting to see what your market price would be.

Bill
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Corporatemonkey
Posted on Monday, April 20, 2009 - 07:58 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Ebay has a policy against that.

Otherwise I would do it...
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Mr_grumpy
Posted on Monday, April 20, 2009 - 08:03 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Have to be on a short auction though.
Shipping could be tricky too, you'd need to state that buyer collects.
Non payers could be trouble too, what'd you do? leave negative feedback & a bad smell?
Or just come back & haunt them?
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Cityxslicker
Posted on Monday, April 20, 2009 - 02:25 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

they should be happy to collect their filing fee and get a big dose of STFU, friggen nanny state.

My organs stay with me. My will says that I will be cremated and put into a shell, fired from the Naval Ordinance Gun at Damneck VA, Only fitting as I seem to be back there every 3 years anyway.
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Hootowl
Posted on Monday, April 20, 2009 - 03:21 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

If my family spends more than $50 on my funeral (to be spent on a nice bottle of tequila) I'm going to come back and haunt them. Plastic bag, incinerator. I'm done with this shell. Distribute my internals as you see fit.
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Froggy
Posted on Monday, April 20, 2009 - 03:31 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

I always said just toss me in the river and be done with it, funerals and burials are a scam.
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Court
Posted on Monday, April 20, 2009 - 03:40 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

I like that list.
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Rfischer
Posted on Monday, April 20, 2009 - 03:46 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

I've instructed that I be buried next to my favourite cat. He's the only one who's ever liked me anyway......
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Cadhopper
Posted on Monday, April 20, 2009 - 05:59 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Lemonchili_x1 must really like chocolate and sex. That could be interesting if done at the same time.

I agree with Froggy, funerals are a huge scam and I could care less what they do with my body. In Virginia they have a law that you can only buy a casket from a funeral home so they have the market cornered.
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Brumbear
Posted on Monday, April 20, 2009 - 06:49 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

BEER
HERES TO CHARLIE MOPPS I CAN"T BELIEVE YOU FORGOT BEER AND WHISKEY
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Brumbear
Posted on Monday, April 20, 2009 - 06:50 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

IF they cremate me it'll take a friggen week to put out the chernobyl like fire that will emmit from my alcohol infused body
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Lemonchili_x1
Posted on Monday, April 20, 2009 - 09:21 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

"Lemonchili_x1 must really like chocolate and sex. That could be interesting if done at the same time."
No comment... hehehe ; )

I should really add to the list:
Helmet, jacket and keys to the X1 : )

"Much like the state of washington denying my personalized license plate: ORGDNR"
They just have nooooo sense of humour : )
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Hr_puffinstuff
Posted on Tuesday, April 21, 2009 - 10:33 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

all joking aside, do your kids a favor, and get a proper will.

my dad died 1 1/2 years ago, ONE DAY before signing his will.

my brother and i are still fighting my dad's 2nd wife in probate court. we have another court date this afternoon, as a matter of fact. after 1 1/2 years, the judge just noticed that her lawyer was incompetent, and now we get to start all over - $32,000 later.

dad didn't care what happened to his body when it was over...so she cremated him, and put him on top of the TV. thing is, she won't let us into or near the house we grew up in, to visit his remains.

point is... even if your worldly possessions boil down to an old leather jacket and a $200 car, put it in your will, or some lawyer will sell that shit, and your kids won't get squat
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Swordsman
Posted on Tuesday, April 21, 2009 - 04:34 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

I dunno what I want done with my body, but I DO know I want the most kickass grave marker ever. I'm thinking something along the lines of Indiana Jones meets The Da Vinci Code: secret switches revealing a hidden compartment, a mysterious key with some cryptic clue that leads the discoverer all over the countryside. That would be awesome. Unfortunately I have nothing cool to leave the winner.

~SM
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Mr_grumpy
Posted on Tuesday, April 21, 2009 - 08:07 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Recycled cardboard coffin, pickup instead of a hearse, incinerator, chuck the ashes in the sea. spend the dif on a pissup for family & friends.

None of that lawyer shit here, your estate goes to your offspring, it's the law.
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Oz666
Posted on Wednesday, April 22, 2009 - 09:42 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Grumpy,

Why spend all that extra?

I'll be stuffed in a trash bag (generic) & hauled to the curb...








Oz



"Nobody gets in to see the Wizard. Not nobody, not no how."
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Oz666
Posted on Wednesday, April 22, 2009 - 09:44 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Better yet, they can give my corpse an enema and use a baggie...






Oz



"Nobody gets in to see the Wizard. Not nobody, not no how."
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Cruisin
Posted on Wednesday, April 22, 2009 - 09:47 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

My friend has always said he just wants to be put through a chipper/shredder. No time to wait, right back into the grand scheme of nature...
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Strokizator
Posted on Wednesday, April 22, 2009 - 12:47 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

I tell my daughters that when they are handed my ashes after cremation, it will rattle like that can full of nuts, bolts and washers everyone has on their garage workbench.

They've been instructed to scatter my ashes in the desert as there is no greater honor that to wind up stuck in the air filters of a group of dirt bikes.

Alternatively, I told my wife she could tan my hide and have it made into a girl's motorcycle seat so that I could spend a few more years between the two things I like best.

Either way suits me fine.
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Jb2
Posted on Wednesday, April 22, 2009 - 12:57 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Lemonchili_x1

Sounds like ingredients for a good song.

JB2
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Oldog
Posted on Wednesday, April 22, 2009 - 01:39 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Jb2

Call Lou......


add Tequlia and sex to that list.

"It's a golden honey color, It's gota little bite"
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Jb2
Posted on Wednesday, April 22, 2009 - 01:44 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Oldog,

I agree but you need to check out Lemonchilli's MySpace page. He's pretty good singer/songwriter too. http://www.myspace.com/thelemonchiliproject

Hey it's only a few weeks until I'll be toasting Lou Usher and Mikey with rum and cigars. You?

JB2
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Oldog
Posted on Wednesday, April 22, 2009 - 01:48 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

If I can get the old beast back in one piece, busted a bolt off in the head out to Pammys' for repairs, while tearing down found a cracked jug

I did not know if You were doing that this year or not, If possible I will go,

Date?
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Jb2
Posted on Wednesday, April 22, 2009 - 01:55 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Oldog,

Every Memorial Day weekend until I'm dead. You can drive if your scooter isn't repaired. It's one of the few motorcycle gatherings that's more about the people than it is about motorcycles.

JB2
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Oldog
Posted on Wednesday, April 22, 2009 - 01:57 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Gotcha:
Just checked Chilis' site

Kewel!
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Jb2
Posted on Wednesday, April 22, 2009 - 02:04 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

"Slip Away" and "Deano's Bar" are on replay(with other songs)on my desktop at work. "Thirty Six Hours" is also another favorite.

Lot of hidden talent on BadWeB if you just know where to look.

JB2
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Randlepmcmurphy
Posted on Wednesday, April 22, 2009 - 03:15 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

I want to be burned on a funeral pire. With a feast laid out for all the people to get drunk and talk about how glorious of abastard I was. And Iwant to pay some beautiful women to stand there and weep for me. They are the only one's allowed to cry.
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Zane
Posted on Thursday, April 23, 2009 - 05:56 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

My older son has already informed me my funeral will be a kegger. I'm ok with that. Heck, I hope they bring the dogs and a date.
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Lemonchili_x1
Posted on Thursday, April 23, 2009 - 07:08 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

"Sounds like ingredients for a good song."
Hey JB2, you could be on to something, I've been looking for some new ideas... : )

Thank you for the compliments too! Did first performance with new drummer the night before last and it went well : )
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