| Author | Message | ||
     Gunut75 |
Steve mackay and I were walking through the forest one day, and came across an old mineshaft vent. Curious, we decided to investigate. As Steve looked down the seemingly bottomless hole, I found a rock about the size of a baseball, and threw it down the hole. We listened.....................nothing. Puzzled, Steve picked up a rock about the size of a bowling ball, and threw it down the hole. We listened....................still nothing! No sound, not a crunch, splash, or anything.  After a minute of discussion, we decided to pick up one of the old railroad ties that was laying around the vent ,and toss it in. We listened............a rustling of leaves...........but it was behind us. We turned around just in time to get out of the way of a goat running straight at us. As the animal ran by, it never slowed down to avoid the vent, and jumped right down the hole. Now Steve and I were extremely puzzled. Another minute of discussion, and we decided it was time to leave. As we were getting back towards the Buells, brinutz (yes, you Wilson) is running around frantically. I ask him what he's doing, and he says, "I'm looking for my goat!" Steve says "We saw one jump down the mineshaft vent a few minutes ago." Brinutz looks at Steve puzzled  , and says......"That was'nt MY goat.......MY goat was tied to a railroad tie!" | ||
| Methed |
Better his goat than his bike... | ||
| Limitedx1 |
hahahahaha | ||
| Sparky |
On my 66th birthday, I got a gift certificate from my wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After being persuaded, I drove to the reservation, handed my ticket to the medicine man and wondered what would happen next. The old man slowly, methodically produced a potion, handed it to me, and with a grip on my shoulder, warned, "This is powerful medicine and it must be respected. You take only a teaspoonful and then say '1-2-3. 'When you do that, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want." I was encouraged. As I walked away, I turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?" "Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,' he responded. "But when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon." I was very eager to see if it worked so I went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited my wife to join me in the bedroom. When she came in, I took off my clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, I was the manliest of men. My wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes. And then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?" And that, my friends, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition! | ||
| Ezblast |
And a grammar lesson at the same time! Great joke! ez | ||
| 86129squids |
+1! LOL, great joke | ||
| Bikertrash05 |
Funny, I drove Steve home the other day. We had a part of the drive through the country, and saw a sheep with it's head stuck in a fence. I pulled over and, well, sheepy-style. I get back to the car and ask Steve if he wants some of that. He says "Yeah!" and runs towards the sheep and puts his head in the fence. | ||
| 86129squids |
B A A A Add joke! | ||
| Gunut75 |
Sorry Steve!............................................ .................................................. ......  | ||
| Brinnutz |
HAHHHAHAH Good stuff.. Yeah, that was my favorite goat, Wilbur. Thanks. | ||
| Greenlantern |
Daddy's car in the woods? Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother. 'Mummy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane...' At this point Mummy cut him off and said, 'Johnny, this is such an interesting story, lets save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight.' At the dinner table that evening, Mummy asked little Johnny to tell his story Johnny started his story, 'I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, the Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mummy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was away on the rigs.' Mummy fainted! Moral: Sometimes you need to just shut the hell up and listen to the whole story before you interrupt! | ||
| Greenlantern |
Dispute Between Neighbours - this is a true story...(unverified!) A town councillor in Wales, Mark Easton, had a beautiful view of the mountains, until a new neighbour purchased the land below his house and built a new home. The new home was 18 inches higher than the planning dept had approved, so Mark Easton, mad about his lost view, went to the local authority to make sure they enforced the roof line height.. The new neighbour had to drop the roof height, at great expense. Recently, Mark Easton called the planning dept, and informed them that his new neighbour had installed some vents on the side of his new property. Mark didn't like the look of these vents and asked the planning dept to investigate. When they went to Mark's home to see what the vents looked like, this is what they found...   The Local Authority said the vents can stay since there is no planning law referring to shutter design. | ||
| Dbird29 |
The vents were in Utah (see the mountains) and the builder redid the vents to a normal configuration. http://www.snopes.com/photos/risque/ventcover.asp | ||
| Greenlantern |
Yeah, I figured as much but the premise was too funny to pass up, that is why I added the unverified disclaimer during the paste.  | ||
| 86129squids |
HAAAHH!! Good one. | ||
| Steve_mackay |
Yeah, and Wilson was worried about that poor goat, since before that 'lil incident, it was running better than his M2 was Right Wilson?  |
