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Buell Motorcycle Forum » Quick Board Archives » Archive through March 27, 2009 » Where all my Ninja's at??? « Previous Next »

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Americanmadexb
Posted on Tuesday, March 24, 2009 - 09:32 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

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Mortarmanmike120
Posted on Tuesday, March 24, 2009 - 09:39 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Those damn ninja's snuck into my house and replaced all my furniture with exact replicas.
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Mortarmanmike120
Posted on Tuesday, March 24, 2009 - 09:41 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)



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Doughnut
Posted on Tuesday, March 24, 2009 - 10:23 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)



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Doughnut
Posted on Tuesday, March 24, 2009 - 10:23 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)



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Doughnut
Posted on Tuesday, March 24, 2009 - 11:28 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)



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White
Posted on Wednesday, March 25, 2009 - 12:10 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)



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Danger_dave
Posted on Wednesday, March 25, 2009 - 12:20 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

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Oddball
Posted on Wednesday, March 25, 2009 - 12:30 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

I'll see your karate with Tae Kwon Leap.







Part i : the lesson


Master: Approach student, close the circle at the feet of the master. You have come to me asking that I be your guide along the path of Tae Kwon Leap. but, be warned: to learn its ways, you must learn the ways of your own soul. Let us meditate on this wisdom now. so: ohhhhmmmmm...

Student1 (ed gruberman): uh, sir! sir! (oo!, oo!) sir!

Master: Who disturbs our meditation, as a pebble disturbs the stillness of the pond?

Eg: Me! Ed Gruberman!

Master: E-Ed Gruberman.

Eg: Yeah, uh, no disrespect or nuthin', but, uh, how long is this gonna take?

Master: Tae Kwon Leap is not a path to a door, but a road leading forever towards the horizon.

Eg: So like, what, an hour or so?

Master: no, no, we have not even begun upon the path. Ed Gruberman, you must learn patience.

Eg: yeah yeah yeah, patience. how long will that take?

Master: Time has no meaning. To a true student, a year is as a day.

Eg: A year??? I wanna beat people up right now! I got the pajamas! yah yah yah hwoom!

Master: 'Beat people up?'...

Eg: Yeah! Just show me all those nifty moves so I can start trashing bozos! That's all I came here for! yo asta sta sta!!! Pretty good, eh?

Master: The only use of Tae Kwon Leap is self-defense. Do you know who said that? Ki Lo Ni, the great teacher.

Eg: Yeah? Well the best defense is a good offense. You know who said that? Mel, the cook on 'Alice'.

Master: Tae Kwon Leap is the wine of purity, not the vinegar of hostility. meditate upon this truth with us. ohmmmmmm.....

Eg: Listen, shrimp! Now are you gonna show me some fancy moves, or am I gonna start wipin' the walls with you?

Master: Ed Gruberman, you fail to grasp Tae Kwon Leap. approach me that you might see.

Eg: All right! Finally some action!

Master: observe closely, class. boot to the head! (sh-zoomp!)

Eg (drunkenly): Owww! You booted me in the head!

Master: You are lucky, Ed Gruberman. few novices experience so much of Tae Kwon Leap so soon.

Eg (quietly, to himself): ow, oh, my head!

Master: Now we continue. ohhhmmmmm...

Eg: Hey! I wasn't ready! Come and get me now shorty. Hah? Come on, are ya chicken?

Master: Boot to the head! (sh-zoomp!)

Eg (again, drunkenly): Oww! Okay, now I'm ready. Okay, now, come on, try it now.

Master: Boot to the head! (sh-zoomp!)

Eg: Mind if I just lie down here for a minute?

Master: Now class, we shall return to our..

Student2: Master?

Master: It is wrong to tip the vessel of knowledge, student.

Student2: Many apologies, master. but I feel Ed Gruberman is not wholly wrong.

Master: What do you mean?

Student2: I want to boot some head, too.

Master: Have you learned nothing from the lesson of Ed Gruberman?

Student2: Yes, master. I have learned two things. first, that anger is a weapon only to one's opponent.

Master: Very good.

Student2: And secondly, get in the first shot. Boot to the head. (sh-zoomp!)

Master: You missed.

Student2: Yeah. well...

Master: You too shall be honored to learn a lesson...

Student2: You don't have to, you know. I gotta be going...

Master: Boot to the head! (sh-zoomp!)

Student2 (agonizing pain): oyyy oy oyyyy.... oh....

Master: Can anyone tell us what lesson has been learned here?

Student3: Yes, master. Not a single one of us could defeat you.

Master: You gain wisdom child.

Student3: So we'll hafta gang up on ya! Get'em guys!

(master throws many boot-to-the-head's and sh-zoomp's, and people are groaning In pain)

Master: And now class, let us rejoin the mind to the body and gaze into the heart of the candle of meditation.

Unison: ohhhmmmm....

Master: Very good, class.
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Danger_dave
Posted on Wednesday, March 25, 2009 - 01:23 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

When should I stop Master?

When your eyes wook wike mine, Gwasshopper.
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Blackbelt
Posted on Wednesday, March 25, 2009 - 09:52 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

I LOVE THAT BIT!!!
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