| Author | Message | ||
     Easy_rider |
Obviously I don't agree. No backup needed. Bits are being wasted. | ||
| Dbird29 |
Aardvarking List from http://www.joebobbriggs.com/list/aardvarklist.txt -------- Aardvarking Adam and Eve'ing It Baking cookies Baking the bean Balling Banging Bashing the Beaver Being in a woman's Beef Being up to one's Balls Being Up to ya nuts in guts Beast with two Backs Beating cheeks Beating someone up with an ugly stick Boffing your Brains out Boinking Boom-booming Bone Dancing Boning Bonking Boofing Bopping Bouncing the bearded clam Breeding Buffing the beaver Bumping and grinding Bumping Bellies Bumping Uglies Bumpin' fuzzies Bumpin' uglies Burying the Baby leg Burying the Bone Burying the Weasel Burying the weenie Bush patrolling Buttering the muffin Buzzing the Brillo Buzzing the honey hole Chopping Cleaning her pipes Cleaning the carpet Coming together Cooping the chicken Crackin' Crashing the custard truck Crawling across the floor like a water spider Creaking bed syndrome Creamin' Cutting the mustard Dancing the Buttock jig Dancing the matrimonial polka Dancing the mattress jig Diddling Dipping the gravy boat Dipping your wick Diving in the Dark Diving for pearls Doing a lewd infusion Doing a load of laundry Doing Dirty working at the crossroads Doing it Doing some Bed-pressing Doing some ladies' tailoring Doing some Muff Diving Doing some Nose painting Doing some One Armed Banditry Doing some Rump work Doing som Up Hill Gardening Doing the Act of Darkness Doing the Backseat mambo Doing the Backstroke Doing the Bad thing Doing the Bed Boogie Doing the Four-Legged Fox Trot Doing the Funky Chicken Doing the chores Doing the deed Doing the Featherbed jig Doing the Four-legged frolic Doing the Hokey-pokey Doing the Horizontal bop Doing the Horizontal exercises Doing the Horizontal hula Doing the Horizontal Jog Doing the Horizontal mambo Doing the Horizontal polka Doing the Horizontal tango Doing the Humpity Dumpity Doing the Humpty Dance Doing the Humpty Dumpty Doing the Mattress Dance Doing the Mattress mambo Doing the Mommy-daddy Dance Doing the Nasty Doing the Naughty Doing the tube snake boogie Doing the Tubesteak fandango Doing the Ugly Doing the Wild thing Doona Dance Drilling for oil Drilling for Cervix Drilling the Ditch Driving home Eating cauliflower Eating hymeneal sweets Eating at the Y Enjoying a flesh session Exchanging Bodily fluids Feeding the Dummy Feeding the kitty Feeding the muffin Filling the cream Doughnut Finding a Hot Dog in a jungle Fitting end to end Fitting her clap flap Five knuckle shuffle Fixing her plumbing Flopping in the hay Fornicating Fraternizing Genital exercise Getting a Belly full of marrow pudding Getting a rock off Getting a shove in your Blind eye Getting Beef in yo taco Getting Carpet Tunnel Syndrome Getting creamy Getting down Getting Funky Getting horizontal Getting into someone's pants Getting it on Getting Jack in the orchard Getting jiggy Getting parallel Getting some Front Door action Getting some stank on the hang low Getting oats Getting stretched Getting your cane waxed Getting your chimney swept out Getting your end wet Getting your hair cut Getting your jollies Getting your leather stretched Getting your lizard drained Getting your nuts cracked Getting your oil changed Getting your rocks off Gettin' some of that slippery action Getting busy Getting your freak on Giving a hole to hide in Giving a woman a shot Giving hard for soft Giving her a hosing Giving her a pat Giving her the Business Giving her the high hard one Giving juice for jelly Giving kitty a taste of cream Giving someone a stab Giving someone the works Giving the Dog a Bone Giving it up Giving her the high hard one Glazing the Donut Going at it Going Belly-to-belly Going fishing Going like a rat up a Drainpipe Going spelunking Going to town Goosing Greasing Greasing the monkey Greasing the pole Greasing the wheel Greasing the axle Grinding your tool Growling at the Badger Hammering Hauling your ashes Having Having a Bit of curly greens Having a Bit of fish Having a Bit of giblet pie Having a Bit of pork Having a Bit of split mutton Having a Bit of sugar stick Having a Bit of summer cabbage Having a Bit of the cramstick Having A Bit of the old in & out Having a hot roll with cream Having a joy ride Having a nooner Having a piece of tail Having a poke Having a Quickie Having a root Having a squeeze and a squirt Having a turn on your Back Having an Uppy Downy Having Nookie Having one's way with Having some Afternoon Delight Having the Beasty rendezvous Heading South Hiding the salami Hiding the sausage Hiking the South Rim Hippity Dippity Hitting it Hobblin' Hooking up Hopping Hopping on the good foot Horizontalize Hosing Humping Impaling Introducing Charlie Jabbing Jazzing Jigging Jiggling Juicing Jumping Bones Katydiddling Knocking Boots Knocking mops Lancing Laying some pipe Laying cable Lying feet up Lifting a leg on someone Lighting the lamp Linking it Losing the match Making Baskets Making ends meet Making grass sandwiches Making her grunt Making it Makin' Bacon Making Babies Making Magic Making the sign of the Two-backed Beast Making whoopee Mingling limbs Mixing your peanut Butter Mounting Nailing Nibbling Nipping the bean bag Packing the frank Painting the Door Parallel parking Parking (the car, the bus, the Audi) Parking the Beef Bus in tuna town Parking the pink Plymouth in the garage of love Parting the Pink Sea Passing the gravy Peeling your Best end Performing Carnal gymnastics Phallicizing Picnicking in the lawn Planting a man Planting your seed Playing at in-and-out Playing at tops-and-bottoms Playing cars and garages Playing Doctor Playing Hanky panky Playing hide the hot Dog Playing hide the weenie Playing hide the salami Playing on the hair court Playing pickle-me, tickle-me Playing the slots Playing the squeezebox Playing tiddlywinks Playing post office Plooking Plowing Plug and playing Plugging Pocketing the stake Poking in the whiskers Poking Poking the pie Polishing the Jewel Popping it in Popping one off Porking Pounding Pounding the porch Pounding the puppy Praying with the knees upward Probing the membrane Professional wrestling Pumping Punching the chipmunk Putting the Bee in the hive Putting the Boots to someone Putting the Devil into Hell Putting your root Down Putting your snake in the grass Puttin' sour cream in the Burrito Puttin' the candle in the pumpkin Putting the Devil into Hell Putting the "Lew" in Lewinsky Putting the Puppy in the Dog House Ramming Ravishing Rear attack Receiving a guest in the foyer Riding someone Riding the hobby horse Riding the Baloney pony Riding the pink pony Riding the pony Riding the skin Bus into Tuna Town Ringing her Bell Rocking Rocking it Rocking off Rocking the casbah Rogering Rolling in the hay Rolling the cigar Romping in the hay Roughin' up the suspect Rubbing Bacons Rubbing one out Rump splitting Running the naked Wheel Barrow Race Saucing the clam Sawing off a chunk Schlopping Schtupping Screwing Scrogging Scrumping Sewing wild oats Sexercizing Shagging Shaking a skin coat Shaking the sheets Shooting the moon Shooting your wad Shucking the oyster Sinking it in Sinking the Bismarck Sinking the soldier Skinning back a freak Slamming Slapping skin Slapping meat Slicking Willie Sliding down the banister Slipping someone the hot Beef injection Slipping someone the tube steak Soaking the sheets Sowing your (wild) oats Spankin' the cat Spawning Spearing the Bearded clam Spelunking Splitting the uprights Stabbing the trout Star-gazing on your Back Stirring the cauldron Storming the trenches Straightening the meat curtains Stretching leather Stroking the newt Stuffing the Beaver Stuffing the taco Stuffin Martha's muffin Sucking the sugar-stick Sweating the sheets Sweaty rompin' Sweetening the pot Swiping the V-card Taking Taking a Belly-ride Taking a turn in the stubble Taking it to the car wash Taking the starch out of someone Taking a Break Taking it downtown Taking "old one-eye" to the optometrist Taking the flesh Boat to tuna town Tearing off a piece Telling a Bedtime story Threading the needle Throwing a leg over Throwing another log on the fire Throwing the meat at her Tossing The Salad Trading a Bit of hard for a Bit of soft Training through a tunnel Trimming the Buff Varnishing your cane Visiting the Netherlands Walking the Dog Wallpapering the closet Watering the lawn Waxing the pole Wetting the hose Wetting your wick Whitewashing Winding the Kinetic watch Winding up your clock Windsurfing on Mount Baldy Working the hairy oracle Yodeling in the valley Yodeling in the gulley Zallywhacking Ziggy-wiggling Zoinkering Zwooshing the swoosh | ||
| Igneroid |
Loosly related joke... Whats the difference between Jam and Jelly??? Its pretty tuff to Jelly it into the old lady.... | ||
| Ducxl |
 .....Oye-Vey.Who was dat guy? | ||
| M1combat |
Well... I've been there too. I'm glad I didn't get jacked with a club. That said... Every time I was there I knew if we got caught I would be. Risk and reward  . I'm all for the Dad and what he did, I'm also all for the teenager and what he was doing as long as he had a sock on. No, I don't have any daughters. If I do and I find some punk naked in my daughters room he better be smart enough to have left the window wide open, be faster than me and hope he's not on the second floor. If he turns out to not be an intruder... great. If he is then the bro's get called... | ||
| Skinstains |
Any naked man in my house (not using the bathroom) will get hit in the head with a bat. | ||
| Pammy |
I can tell you that if I saw a man/boy in my daughters room in the middle of the night, my concern would not be for the "guest". It would be for my daughter. I would react in the same way. I might even drag out the bolt cutters...Ha Ha. I suggest if you are willing to take the risks in entering someones domicile without prior invitation from the deed holder, HTFU and suffer the consequences if you should get caught. They way I see it, the Dad was doing his job. The "victim" is the whiney bitch. Right on Glitch! | ||
| M2statz |
WOW! As once being a hormonal male teenager I was in kind of the same spot, I WAS told by the female that the parents were away for the weekend so it would be cool to come over, the parents were only out for Friday night fish fry and came home earlier than expected, being not quite naked but close enough, parents did drag me out by the ears, swift kicks to the arse included, phone calls were made to my parents which resulted in more arse kickings and other punishment. I am just glad that there were no pipes around, the punishment was justified. Lesson learned? No, we have been married for 17 years on 19 Sept. Point being, stranger in my house gets whats coming with what ever is handy. As far as the teenager issue, education is always best. My twins boys are only 5 but they KNOW the difference between right and wrong. Lets hope it stays that way. | ||
| Kyrocket |
Now there's a light in the storm. 17 years, you don't see that very often anymore, and it's getting less and less. Happy early anniversary M2, it always makes me feel good to see big anniversaries like that. My wife and I just celebrated our ninth last month although we've been together for 16 years. | ||
| M2statz |
We have been together for 20 years. I just realized that is half my life. With the same woman... | ||
| Glitch |
Right on Glitch! The Queen has spoken! With regards to marriage longevity, Ann and I will have been married for 17 years this November. Happily I might add. | ||
| M2statz |
Good on ya Glitch!! And Thanks Kyrocket. I do not think that there is anything that I would change in the last 20 years with my wife. Except may be having the twins when my Dad was still alive, but then who's to say that we would have had twins then? | ||
| Pammy |
Happy Anniversay everyone. Wes and I have been married for over half my life(not his). (one of us is ooooold) Ha Ha | ||
| Glitch |
Ann will be able to say the same in a couple of years. Wes and I have that in common, it'll be a while before I've been married half my life. | ||
| Slaughter |
We had a buddy in high school who had one of the original TINY Honda-cars with the 600cc air cooled motors. 4 of us could lift and walk with it. He went over to his ladyfriend's place when her parents were away for the weekend and we decided that his little Honda Car needed to be "parked" behind their swimming pool in an area that COULDN'T be driven out of. We actually got 8 of us - a couple 4x4's across under the car, we all lifted it and walked it around the back yard, placing it gently behind the pool as part of the landscaping. Apparently he had to do some pretty FAST talking when Mommy and Daddy came home the next day! (and they're still married to this day almost 30 years later) | ||
| Bads1 |
The kid wouldn't have to worry about me. The dog's would have their way with him. I guess you could say they are doing what they were bred to do..... and why I love them sooo. | ||
| Jb2 |
+1 What Glitch said. A man's home is his castle. If another man chooses to enter his home without consent he should be in fear of his life. Injure or kill first, ask questions later. Good on Glitch and Pammy! Kim and I have been married going on 33 years. We both turn 50 this year. I wouldn't trade it for the world. Some things are meant to be. Observation; opposing views came from a fella who has neither a spouse or children. Me thinks this would change his whole perspective if he were in "papa's shoes." It sure changed mine. | ||
| Xl1200r |
Marraige longevity? Hmm... I had a failed engagement 9 months before the big day, so that's a -9 months for me. Am I the biggest loser? lol | ||
| Kyrocket |
Well, depending on what may or may not have happened you may be the biggest winner. | ||
| Doon |
My wife and I have "together" 14 years today. Married for almost 7 of them. 4 more years and we will been together longer than we've been apart. -patrick | ||
| Glitch |
Observation; opposing views came from a fella who has neither a spouse or children. Me thinks this would change his whole perspective if he were in "papa's shoes." It sure changed mine. I thought of that, but at that time I wasn't willing to feed the fire. | ||
| Lost_in_ohio |
We live in a time when 16 year old boy and girl friends vacation unsupervised in Florida together. A guy I know. We live in a time when 14 year old boy and girl friends have sex in their parents homes with the parents full knowledge and even when they are home. A lady I work with. We live in a time when teenagers party ends up with group sex, the parents walk in and walk back out, and laugh about it. We have pregnancy pacts. NOT IN MY HOME. Parents need to be parents first. | ||
| Glitch |
Right on Jerry! I hear too often from a "friend" of mine that he's scared his son won't like him if... Being a parent isn't about being liked! Sure my sons and I get along, we talk, we play, but they know who and what I am. When it's time to be serious I have no problem with pissing them off if that's what happens. Usually though, they know what the outcome is going to be. One thing I am is consistent. | ||
| Jlnance |
Observation; opposing views came from a fella who has neither a spouse or children. Me thinks this would change his whole perspective if he were in "papa's shoes." It sure changed mine. I've got a daughter, and a couple of observations. It's funny to talk about cleaning the guns when the date shows up, but we should be real here. If my daughter invites some boy into the house and has sex with him, my problem should be with HER. She is the one I'm responsible for and she is the one breaking my rules. There are valid reasons to whack someone with a pipe. This isn't one of them. There is no self defense here, the guy was just trying to teach someone a lesson. That's assault, just like it would be if you hit someone with a pipe cause you didn't like the way they looked at your Buell. I've got a son too. If your daughter invites him in and you hit him, I'd be PISSED. | ||
| Jb2 |
jlnance, In some ways I couldn't agree with you more. Parenting is key. We're lucky to have raised two wonderful kids who are responsible and on their own now. We never had the problems that the poor guy had who inspired this thread. Having said that, I will defend my home against ALL intruders. If I were awakened in the night to a stranger in the house I'm not asking questions first to determine my legal position. In my mind the intruder has already violated my space regardless if he was invited in or not. JB2 | ||
| Miamiuly |
Intruder- that's funny. I'm glad none of my friend's parents ever freaked out when they came home and found me there playing with my friends. (legally the same as we are only talking about the leagallity of being invited in by someone who LIVES there.) I mean I certainly did not get THEIR permission to enter the house when I walked in with my friend. I never said I wouldn't be pissed, and maybe even lose it on the guy. I just know enough to know that it isn't Okay to try to kill him when my daughter is 50 or 60 percent guilty as well. Some of the comments in this thread make me feel a lot better and safer about Miami. Thanks. We have a castle law here but I'm sure the father would go down due to the fact that the kid DID NOT enter the house illegally no matter how you feel as king of your home. I wish this thread would die or that I could ignore it, but I like to see where the vigalantism runs strongest. I'll take my chances with road ragers over self-rightous defenders. The good thing is most of the people here seem to be involved with their kids so less chance of having this happen. Slightly less.... The father in this story is not a parent and deserves what happens for not being involved and actually parenting. Popping out a kid doesn't make a parent, raising the kid well does. And no I have no kids, I know, that somehow makes me less of a person/American. Didn't learn a thing from being a kid and didn't recieve that magical genetic parenting upgrade automatically for getting someone pregnant. Guess I can't run for office anytime soon. (Message edited by miamiuly on September 17, 2008) (Message edited by miamiuly on September 17, 2008) | ||
| Pammy |
"And no I have no kids, I know, that somehow makes me less of a person/American. Didn't learn a thing from being a kid and didn't recieve that magical genetic parenting upgrade automatically for getting someone pregnant." I don't think that is the sentiment of anyone here. I know it does not mirror mine. I think what was meant by the "neither a spouse or children" post was that you can't walk in someones shoes if the shoes don't fit. You are DEFINITELY NOT a parent if you have NO children. Not even a fifty fifty chance there. You can try to imagine how a parent would feel, but you will never really know. Is there a lower classification for those who choose not to pro-create? Absolutely not. Hell, most of us, that are parents, may even envy you from time to time. Do we look down on you? Nope. Being a Mother? Now there is whole other death sentence. I almost shot a young man(2 actually) for peeking into my daughters window...I called the local constabulary, who showed up and caught the young men. They turned out to be from my daughters school. I told them that they were not allowed on my property and that was my rule.(in front of the sherriff...at his instruction) Now had my daughter invited him to/in our home(she wouldn't), he still would have gone to jail for trespassing. My house/My rule. So sez the law. I must agree with JB2 on this one. I am typically not a violent person, but don't mess with my children. Let me ask this. What would any of you do to(or like to do to) the scum that might sell your child heroin, crack, ecstasy, alcohol or the like? Your child may be a willing consumer, but I think you would still like to crack the dealer in the head. I'm a Mother of a Mother...  | ||
| M2statz |
+1 Pammy I agree. My twins are not to that age yet but as I posted before they do KNOW the difference between right and wrong and that does come from the parents. One can not rely on outside help anymore, even the schools have their hands tied when it comes to disciplinary actions. The boys started Kindergarten this month and the list of do's and don'ts with reprocussions was impressive to say the least. Point being, like Glitch, Pammy and others have said, be the adult and parent, use good judgement and good things will happen. | ||
| Ducxl |
The law is the law. When you club someone over the head you can cause BRAIN DAMAGE.You cannot adjust the swing of the club to NOT cause BRAIN DAMAGE. I'm lucky my wife's father(the Doctor),when i was dating her back in 1986 that he welcomed me as his own. If he thought i was inebriated when i dropped her off he'd send US to her room to sleep it off. More often than not i later faked being drunk.then i moved in for two years before we got our own place. I'm EXTREMELY sensitive with regards to BRAIN TRAUMA.Through multiple personal experience (Message edited by Ducxl on September 17, 2008) | ||
| Jb2 |
Miamiuly, You bring up some good points which I think Pammy addresses very well. She's right about not being able to speak as a parent if you aren't one. That was my only point. It sure doesn't make you less of a person. On the intruder part... I've walked into many friends' homes when I was a youngin' and we have had many kids at our house when our children were living at home. All came through the front door with one of ours and were always respectful and welcomed. Not intruders in my book. BUT, if a boy would have came through the bedroom window to have sex with our daughter he would have been fair game on the hunting range. There's no way in hell that boy didn't know he was doing wrong. Just because the girl invited him doesn't make it okay. He still knew he was breaking house rules once he made the decision to enter. At that point he became an intruder. JB2 |
