| Author | Message | ||
     Danger_dave |
On Saturday afternoon I was sitting in my deck chair, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn. The neighbour, a lady from across the street, was so outraged that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung!" I took a sip from my can of Beck's German Beer, wiped the cold foam from my lips, lifted my darkened Ray Ban sunglasses and stared directly into the eyes of this irritating neighbor, and calmly replied, "I am. That's why she cuts the grass." | ||
| Brumbear |
There were 2 guys in a top floor hotel bar drinking it up good. The bartender quietly watching. guy 1: Hey no wut Ibet I can ran out that open window and be so phast I'll turn round and run back in before I fall guy 2: no phluckin way dude guy 1 : jumps up takes off running right out the window turns around and comes in and doesn't fall guy 2: how the pfluck did youdo dat guy 1: easy dude just go fast as you can and back you come guy 2: OK jumps up runs out the window falls 22 strories to his demise Bartender: Superman you are an ashol when your drinking | ||
| Danger_dave |
cool - copy and paste em. but remember the site rulez too. | ||
| Boney95 |
Why do females have two pairs of lips? So they can piss and moan at the same time. | ||
| Gjwinaus |
After 40 years as a gynaecologist, John decided he had enough money to retire and take up his real love, auto mechanics. He left his practice, enrolled in auto mechanics school, and studied hard. The day of the final exam came and John worried if he would be able to complete the test with the same proficiency as his younger classmates. Most of the students completed their exam in two hours. John, on the other hand, took the entire four hours allotted. The following day, John was delighted and surprised to see a score of 150% for his exam. John spoke to his professor after class. "I never dreamed I could do this well on the exam. How did I earn a score of 150%?" The professor replied, "I gave you 50% for perfectly disassembling the car engine. I awarded another 50% for perfectly reassembling the engine. I gave you an additional 50% for having done all of it through the muffler." |
