| Author |
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Glitch
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 28, 2003 - 05:53 pm: | 
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A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.
She answers, 'My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun a long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2 you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!"
The nun says "OK, pull into the next alley."
He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?"
"Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween party." |
Newfie_buell
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 28, 2003 - 06:12 pm: |
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Ha Ha Ha,
We use those "Nose Pickers" for serving Hot Plates to "Upper Canadians" |
Ray_maines
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 28, 2003 - 08:49 pm: |
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A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?"
She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit." |
Newfie_buell
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 28, 2003 - 09:33 pm: |
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HEHEHEHEHE
Good one Ray |
Newfie_buell
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 28, 2003 - 11:05 pm: |
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Seasame Street |
Cj_xb
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 29, 2003 - 10:35 am: |
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Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned !!
 |
Newfie_buell
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 29, 2003 - 11:05 am: |
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Good One CJ,
I'd better be nice today and send some flowers or something!!!!!!!!!! |
Blackbelt
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 29, 2003 - 11:06 am: |
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THAT ROCKED!! i have had that MP3 for years.. someone accually got stoned enough to make a video.. JOE WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO??? |
Knickers
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 29, 2003 - 12:07 pm: |
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Two blondes are having their morning coffee at work. Blonde #1 is walking kinda funny.
blonde #2:"Honey what's wrong with you legs"
blonde #1: "Well yesterday my husband came home from work with a bouquet of flowers so I spent all night with my legs in the air."
Blonde #2: "Didn't you have a vase?" |
S1joel
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 29, 2003 - 08:11 pm: |
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WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN
1. Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
2. Dogs like beer.
3. Dogs don't hate their bodies.
4. Dogs don't criticize.
5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
6. Dogs never expect gifts.
7. Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you've ever had.
8. Dogs don't let a magazine article guide their lives.
9. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.
10. Dogs don't cry.
11. Dogs love it when your friends come over.
12. A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
13. Dogs don't expect you to call when you're running late- the later you are, the more excited they are to see you.
14. Anyone can get a good looking dog.
15. Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public. 16. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk. 17. Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.
18. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
19. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
20. A dog's parents never visit.
Flame away, but it's pretty funny. |
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