| Author |
Message |
    
Ridrx
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 05, 2007 - 07:09 pm: | 
|
Thanks Thumper. |
Cityxslicker
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 05, 2007 - 07:20 pm: |
|
Always look on the bright side of life.
[whistling]
Always look on the light side of life.
[whistling]
If life seems jolly rotten,
There's something you've forgotten,
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps,
Don't be silly chumps.
Just purse your lips and whistle. That's the thing.
And...
Always look on the bright side of life.
[whistling]
Always look on the right side of life,
[whistling]
For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word.
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin.
Give the audience a grin.
Enjoy it. It's your last chance, anyhow.
So,...
Always look on the bright side of death,
[whistling]
Just before you draw your terminal breath.
[whistling]
Life's a piece of shit,
When you look at it.
Life's a laugh and death's a joke. It's true.
You'll see it's all a show.
Keep 'em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And...
Always look on the bright side of life.
repeat til fade to credits
(Monty Pythons "Life of Brian") bonus points if your name is Brian |
Dfishman
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 05, 2007 - 08:09 pm: |
|
Think about yourself.........Wake up in the morning.You have a decision to make....be unhappy or be happy.Choose (be happy).Trust me it IS YOUR DECISION.Forget about anybody else & make yourself happy.It ain't that hard.You will find that if you get on your bike & ride all will be better! |
Phatkidwit1eye
| | Posted on Thursday, December 06, 2007 - 02:07 am: |
|
"It's only after you've lost everything, that you're free to do anything." ~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club |
Strato9r
| | Posted on Saturday, December 08, 2007 - 01:00 pm: |
|
I feel for you, Buddy; life can indeed be crap, but Brian's words hold true. As tough as things can get, it is indeed in those times that the truth about our lives, and those we share it with, becomes most apparent. It wasnt long ago that my marriage to a woman I truly believed was "The One" hit the skids after the affair she had been having for years (with a self proclaimed "Christian") was exposed. My kids were in their teens, and out of control. My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimers and had to be institutionalized. I lost my Labrador retrievers and the house that I'd sold my matching numbers '63 Vette to purchase in the divorce.
I stuck it out, and it wasn't faith in God or Freemasonry or finding someone to blame all of this crap on that changed things; it was the people who I'd stuck it out for when they were having rough times, and were there for me when I needed them. Things were truly as black as they had ever been, and suicide was the first and last thing that entered my mind at the beginning and end of each day. But with each day, my anger and rage became a little less intense, and it was my friends that illuminated that path for me.....
Now, I've got my own sweet little house, and the love and companionship of the most wonderful (and drop dead gorgeous) woman that I've ever met. My son is realizing his dream of becoming a chef, and my beautiful daughter is the most talented apprentice our machine shop has ever had. I've got a black cat that is larger than most dogs, a Fender Telecaster and my motorcycle. I can't imagine wanting anything else, other than you to be as happy as I am, Mark. My best thoughts are with you. |
Lions
| | Posted on Saturday, December 08, 2007 - 05:45 pm: |
|
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=ginkolink |
86129squids
| | Posted on Saturday, December 08, 2007 - 06:00 pm: |
|
"Time and perseverance are the greatest warriors"- Tolstoy
"Freedom is the recognition of necessity"- Hegel
"Hearing, the ear, is the truest of the senses"- Kierkegaard
Towards the last comment: Go find a good, independent if possible, record store, kill an afternoon sampling various CD's, buy some music. This will help more than you may realize.
Everyone: Find a copy of Cyrus Chestnut's "A Charlie Brown Christmas". This cat is one of today's young lions of jazz, he re-arranges all that "Peanuts" stuff we all remember and love. Guaranteed to put a smile on yer face, and a swing in your perambulation. (This is out of print- available via Internet record outfits.)
Namaste, folks... |
Mikexlr650
| | Posted on Saturday, December 08, 2007 - 06:06 pm: |
|
xl,
so plan on coming down to mb5 with us. just show up with your bike and your gear and we'll get you there. a few really busy days with new people, places, and the best roads could do you some good. we're not too far from ya. |
Hammer71
| | Posted on Saturday, December 08, 2007 - 06:08 pm: |
|
What he said |
86129squids
| | Posted on Saturday, December 08, 2007 - 06:17 pm: |
|
 
+1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
CJXB
| | Posted on Saturday, December 08, 2007 - 06:50 pm: |
|
Keep breathing. Your sunrise is just over the horizon.
Always !! |
Ft_bstrd
| | Posted on Saturday, December 08, 2007 - 07:40 pm: |
|
Sometimes the hits just keep on comin'.
In this life there are certain injustices that will never, ever be made right.
Expecting this place to be righteous and just will leave you disillusioned and bitter.
The only respite is to find a friend and helpmate to get you through. |
Crusty
| | Posted on Sunday, December 09, 2007 - 09:12 am: |
|
In October, 1973, I hit one of the lowest points in my life. I had moved out to Colorado after living most of my life in Massachusetts, My marriage was on the rocks, I was working 12 hours a day, seven days a week. I was feeling alone, confused and disoriented. Then, within three days, I say my Supervisor fall 90 feet and die, my wife left me, my bike wouldn't start, and my truck broke down. The capper came when I found out my wife had been cheating on me with my best friend.
I didn't know I could hurt so bad. I wanted to die, but a true friend came and got me and took me to his place in Louisiana where I stayed with him and his wife until I could pull it together a bit.
My life got better. The best times have happened since then. It sucks when you're in the middle of the bad sh1t, but it will get better. Stay busy. Hang with friends. Try not to be alone too much. Ride your bike. Find a way to get through the day. Tomorrow will be a little better. |
Xl1200r
| | Posted on Monday, December 10, 2007 - 10:50 am: |
|
Expecting this place to be righteous and just will leave you disillusioned and bitter.
Powerful words and ringing of truth... at first. I still firmly believe that things will turn out well, whether it's how I really want them to right now, or by some other means - that I haven't fully considered. Either way, at this point, it will be a huge surprise and I'll win in the end. I just hate being here right now.
I'm starting to stand up a little now, though I still trip over my feet every now and then. Out of nowhere, glimmers of hope seem to have popped up over the past couple days, but I'm expecting to totally let down as that's been the norm lately. I have a tendancy to see things that aren't really there, or intereperet things differently than intended.
If you could only see the way that girl looks at me...
Overall I've been doing better though, even though my mind hasn't shifted nearly any. |
Diablobrian
| | Posted on Monday, December 10, 2007 - 11:43 am: |
|
In the immortal words of Mick Jagger:
"You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes, well you might find
You get what you need"
http://www.keno.org/stones_lyrics/you_cant_always_ get_what_you_want.htm
It can be a bitter pill to swallow sometimes, but to quote another cliche:
"What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger"
Judging by that criteria it seems that several of us should be in line for Mr Universe
titles after all the crap that we've been through, but the reality of the situation is very
close to what Mick and the boys recorded years ago. While our lives may not have turned
out the way we all anticipated as children, however we get what we need to get by and the
drive to improve our lot in life is what separates the winners from those that just drift
through life taking what comes to them. |
Bigdaddy
| | Posted on Monday, December 10, 2007 - 12:54 pm: |
|
It can be a bitter pill to swallow sometimes, but to quote another cliche:
"What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger" +1
I'd add:
"What doesn't kill us hurts like hell" |
Captain_mark
| | Posted on Monday, December 10, 2007 - 02:55 pm: |
|
I don't know if this will help, in 1999 after fighting cancer with all the money we had, my wife of 20 wonder-filled years died at age 42. Just one month and five days earlier my dad died and my sweet wife had read the old testament passage "there is a time for living and a time for dying," at his funeral. Lost, I shut down my failing business, I sold my house and sailed (literally) away. A year later I was diagnosed as clinically depressed (go figure) when I ran into a friend of my deceased wife who was going through in a very nasty divorce from an abusive (mentally and physically) husband. We became friends and a year later were married. I have never been happier. I now have everything I could possibly want including two terrific step sons who really dig riding on back of my Uly. I have been twice blessed in my lifetime.
I still have significant scars that can still hurt, But I try to remember, everyone, if they live long enough, must face tragedy, whether a divorce, loss of a parent, lover, child (that would be the worse) or anything. What makes us what we are is how we manage our tragedies and balance them with our joy of life.
A piece of advice, get out of Boston! Everything is cold and grey, including the people. Come to sunny Florida. Bike, Boat and Surf all year long! Ride on |
Xl1200r
| | Posted on Monday, December 10, 2007 - 03:31 pm: |
|
A piece of advice, get out of Boston! Everything is cold and grey, including the people.
I take it you've never been to Boston. I go there regularly on business, as well as New York, and I can tell you there's a massive difference in teh general attitudes of the population, at least from what I've noticed. Boston is colorful, even in December, and is just a pleasant place to be. I never really liked the "big city" lifetstyle until I spent a few days in Boston.
The only hiccup is it's her town, her dream.
While I was there I had dinner with a collegue from our office in South Carolina. He says I could find a sweet girl with a southern accent in about 20 minutes, and the best BBQ around in not much more. Sounds like heavan...maybe...
Like I said, I've seen glimmers of hope from both sides of the fence - from the place where I want it most, and from the place I least expected it. One is probably more likely than the other, but together my chances are steady at 100% for success.
Time will tell. I don't want to wait much longer. |
Captain_mark
| | Posted on Monday, December 10, 2007 - 04:07 pm: |
|
I've been to Boston too many times. You are right it can be colorful and compared to New York this time of year probably it is. I apologize if I sounded like I was critical of New Enlanders. I grew up in Mystic Connecticut, went to college in Washington DC and New Briton, Connecticut Biked and surfed Rhode Island and Long Island hated the dreary cold winters. When I said everything is cold and grey, including the people, I was only referring to the temperatures and lack of sunshine and how depressing that can be. I now live in Maitland (near Orlando) and keep my boats and boards on the coast in New Smyrna Beach (just south of Daytona).
There are really cheep flights from NY to Orlando where it is 80 degrees and sunny right now. You can rent a VRod from Orlando Harley Davidson for 80 bucks a day. A drive to to coast and you got the cure.
Hang in there and if you come to Florida, get in touch, I will show you some roads that will put your head in a much better place.
be good,
Captain Mark |
Xl1200r
| | Posted on Tuesday, December 11, 2007 - 10:57 am: |
|
No need to apologize. The onnly part about winter that bugs me is when it's too cold to ride but still not enough snow to ski. Otherwise I keep myself busy with the white stuff.
I've been contemplating a trip, though I have no idea where. I originally was going to do a month-long cross-country trip on the bike, but I've decided that I don't want spend that much time away from friends, and it would mean I coudln't take any other vacation time for the whole year.
I'm planning on going to Vegas for a buddies birthday, and I'm going to take 2 days to rent a Harley and ride to the Grand Canyon and back, but that's not until March.
I'm convinced I have a sickness now. It's just like me to sit and think until I can't think anymore and figure out the logic of any situation, even when no logic exists. I always assume there are reasons for people's actions and that they understand how those actions are being ineterpeted, but in reality this just isn't the case sometimes. But I can't get myself to not think about it, so I continue to reason.
Life goes on. |
Captain_mark
| | Posted on Tuesday, December 11, 2007 - 12:02 pm: |
|
Reason is way over rated. It is impossible to figure out what someone means when they really don't know what they mean, much less, that over time the meaning and the person changes. All you can know is what IT means to you and your life.
Stop thinking and do something that requires your total focus, like riding your Buell fast or for me surfing and boating do it as well - they call it "being in the moment."
Vegas is fun and certainly a great place to get in the moment. I have never been to the Grand Canyon but I hear it is spectacular.
Life does go on - so get on with it. |
Swordsman
| | Posted on Tuesday, December 11, 2007 - 04:55 pm: |
|
"James, we have talked about it a TON. She cares about me geatly, loves me, etc... basically everything is there, but the "spark" isn't there all the time, and she needs that."
Mentioning the "spark" reminded me... I actually read an article from some big-time relationship councilor that said you shouldn't expect the "spark" to always be there, because it won't be. That sensation of being madly in love doesn't stay around forever. That's called infatuation, and it's an early stage of the mating game that's over pretty quickly. I'm not sure if that's what you (or she) is talking about, but if it is, then she's in for a pretty rude awakening at some point.
+1 on pretty much everything else that has been said. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt, and burned that MF'r.
~SM |
P_squared
| | Posted on Tuesday, December 11, 2007 - 07:08 pm: |
|
I may be the personally WORST person to ask, but I can tell you this:
*Life SUCKS
*F!@#$ everyone else, live for YOURSELF
*If you depend upon someone other than yourself to be happy, you WILL be
disappointed
*The only one responsible for how you feel & deal with life is YOU. Everyone else is just "gear noise" in the background.
It SUCKS, it HURTS, but everyday after today WILL get better if you want them to. Choose to be happy for yourself and rembember:
"Joke them if they don't give a F!@$...or F!@#$ them if they don't get a joke?" |
Xl1200r
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 12, 2007 - 09:43 am: |
|
Cliff, she's not new to relationships, or even long-term ones. I think what changed it was we used to have boatloads of spark - the chemistry between us was so thick you could pull it out of the air. It hung around for a while after we started dating, but it began to dry up once the arguments started. The root of these arguments is getting resolved, but it's left a bad taste in her mouth. So it's up to her at this point if she wants anything more from me.
I don't think she expects to feel madly in love 100% of the time for the rest of her life, but she knows what feelings need to be there in order to build a relationship on them, and she doesn't feel like they're there enough of the time.
It's a shame because this girl is the closest I've ever come to having pretty much everything I know I want and need - the only thing that's missing is she doesn't feel the same way about me, which counts pretty big.
She's had a really rough past couple months... lost both grandparents and uncle, mom lost her job, plus all of the other stress surrounding graduating college, getting an apartment, starting a career - she basically hasn't had a break since June.
She has been acting a little strangely though - contact between us nearly faded away completely for a while after she realized that her failed efforts to try and have enough of the "spark" with me only lead me on. But over this last weekend she started contacting me a lot more, invited me to go Christmas shopping, stopped by my place, etc. I'm doing what I can not to read into any of it, and if she had come to some conclusion she would have let me know already, so I'm just taking it as it is and not keeping my eyes closed or my radar fixed.
I'd love for her to come around, but if she doesn't then there has to be someone better out there. |
Swordsman
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 12, 2007 - 01:07 pm: |
|
Mark, I'm by NO means an expert (I read little and understand even less), but I wonder what kind of effect it would have if you kept a bit of distance? I'm certainly not recommending it, I'm just pondering out loud. I obviously don't know you or the girl or the whole story, but I'm thinking back to a few of my previous dating situations that involved strained relations. Being "on call" didn't work out so well in the end.
"I'd love for her to come around, but if she doesn't then there has to be someone better out there."
Bingo. Always.
~SM
(Message edited by Swordsman on December 12, 2007) |
Xl1200r
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 12, 2007 - 02:25 pm: |
|
Is anyone really an expert?
I have pulled away quite a bit. If her and I ever have any contact anymore it's because she initiates it, not me. She's the one who calls me, or contacts me online, etc. I'm getting better at not always being availible for her.
This came out of a conversation with her. While we were broken up, there were a lot of ups and down concerning us and where we were going. It turns out (I didn't know this at the time) that she was trying everything she could think of to get us to work - spending more time with me, spedning less time, etc. It occured to me that I haven't changed my tactic with her since I became seriously interested in her, 5 monts before we even started dating. I was always around, always availible for her, etc. What kicked her into gear to date me was I started showing interest in someone else and she got jealous. Go figure.
So yes, I'm pulling away. I don't contact her unless it's a response to her. I have no idea if it's working for her, but it's working for me. The days are getting easier, but I still think about her all the time. All I have to start doing now is not always answering the phone when she calls, or always being around when she wants to see me. That's the hard part.
I almost feel ready to start dating other people, but I know I'm not 100% over her yet, and I also know that even if I met someone I really liked, if my ex approached me and said she was ready to give things another shot, I'd more than likely go for it in a heartbeat, which woudln't be fair to any newcommer.
But hey, since when was life anything close to being fair? |
Ulywife
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 12, 2007 - 08:19 pm: |
|
Relationships aren't always easy. They take work, some days more than others. You certainly don't want her to come back to you just because you show interest in someone else. Those antics may have been okay in high school, but those days are long over. Either her feelings are there for you or they aren't.
The "spark" that she's looking for starts to change into a different feeling as your love for each others deepens. As I once heard it at a wedding....it's the spark/physical attraction that brings you to each other. Over time, that spark may fade (but should not altogether disappear), but the inner connection between the two of you becomes stronger. It's a place that you only share with each other. It's kinda like a see-saw. As one becomes less important, the other takes over.
M2nc and I have been flirting, then dating and married since 1983...all of your life (damn I feel old). It's hard to imagine that I'd love him anymore than I did in 1989 when we said "I do", but trust me, our love is so much stronger now than it ever has been.
Marriage/relationships are a work in progress. We had our share of arguments (usually over my jealousy or something petty) when we were younger. Now we joke that we haven't had a good argument in a while and we might have to schedule a good "come to Jesus meeting" before the year ends.
Whatever you decide to do, be sure you do it for the right reasons and that it's what makes you truly happy. You deserve that regardless of who it's with. |
Oldog
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 12, 2007 - 11:10 pm: |
|
What Kristi Said in spades,
You sound sorta like I did with my X wife,
the on again off again thing happend to me too while we dated, once at Christmas
My 0.02$ keep looking, |
Nevrenuf
| | Posted on Thursday, December 13, 2007 - 08:53 am: |
|
Ditto!! to what Kristi said, Not certain of the whole story(yes there's always two sides) but you also have to look at what she has lost in the last 6 months. The grieving process is an amazing thing and effects people in ways that you would never imagine. For her benefit if she hasen't done so, Hospice offers free group sessions for anyone who has lost loved ones whether they were involved with Hospice or not. |
Thumper74
| | Posted on Thursday, December 13, 2007 - 10:30 am: |
|
I had typed a long message about 'spark' but I felt I was out of place saying that you can't expect spark forever. One of my favorite quotes is from Bruce Lee - “Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.” |
Xl1200r
| | Posted on Thursday, December 13, 2007 - 10:45 am: |
|
Aside from the high-school-ish-ness, she may not completely understand her feelings for me, so the threat of losing all possibilities with me may force her to really think about what she wants. She isn't one to play games generally, and say she wants me just to keep me from being with someone else. If she decides she still doesn't want me, then at least I would have met someone else that's worth my time.
We haven't talked about "us" in a while only because I refuse to bring it up anymore. Every time we do, she just tells me how wonderful I am and hoe great I am and she doesn't understand why I don't mean more to her. But the last time we did she said a lot of things along the lines of how she cared about so much (on the brink of tears saying it), and basically she would love nothing more than for us to work. I don't completely understand it, but she's said the feelings are there as they've never gone away, just that "something" wasn't.
She's been in long-term relationships before and knows the life cycle. She had just gotten out of one when we started seeing each other and just wanted something easy and simple, but it wasn't because I was looking for a lot more from her, and there were things standing in the way on her end for that.
I've come a long way - hell, even last night I seriously considered not responding to her when she contacted me online, but I decided to make her a last priority among other friends. And for the record, I did tell her that I'm not doing any of the "in-between" stuff with her anymore. If she wants something more from me, it has to be black and white - either she does or she doesn't, because I've wasted far too much time with "maybes" just to end up hurt and led on in the end.
I know all this makes her seem like a manipulative psycho, but she really isn't. She's a very sweet girl and we had (still have?) a lot going for us. Timing was just wrong.
Oh well.
Thunper - good quote. I really think she knows what to expect with "spark" and what it turns into, but regardless, the bottom line is whatever she feels like she need to feel inside in order to have a relationship just isn't there enough of the time with me. You can do all the explaining you want, you can't convince someone to feel a certain way.
(Message edited by xl1200r on December 13, 2007) |
Swordsman
| | Posted on Thursday, December 13, 2007 - 03:43 pm: |
|
"And for the record, I did tell her that I'm not doing any of the "in-between" stuff with her anymore. If she wants something more from me, it has to be black and white - either she does or she doesn't, because I've wasted far too much time with "maybes" just to end up hurt and led on in the end.
"
Excellent move.
~SM |
Xl1200r
| | Posted on Thursday, December 13, 2007 - 04:24 pm: |
|
Thanks.
Luckily, by the time I said it she already knew that it had to be that way after seeing how it was effecting me. I think she's sticking to it because I'm not getting any conflicting signs from her anymore - just things once in a while that make me wonder - looks, phone calls, things like that. But no more kisses or sleepovers, so that's good... i guess... |
Xl1200r
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 26, 2007 - 09:09 am: |
|
Wow... things come when you least expect them and from the last place or person you thought they'd come from.
Hello, sunrise. Nice to meet you. |
|
