| Author | Message | ||
     New12r |
A So. Illinois farmer was selling his peaches door to door. He knocked on a door and a shapely 40 something woman dressed in a very sheer negligee answered the door. He raised his basket to show her the peaches and asked, "Would you like to buy some peaches?" She pulled the top of the negligee to one side and asked, "Are they as firm as this?" He nodded his head and said, "Yes ma'am,'" and a little tear ran from his eye. Then she pulled the other side of her negligee off asking, "Are they nice and pink like this?" The farmer said, "Yes," and another tear came from the other eye. Then she unbuttoned the bottom of her negligee and asked, "Are they as fuzzy as this?" He again said, "Yes," and broke down crying. She asked, "Why on earth are you crying?" Drying his eyes he replied, '"The drought got my corn, the flood got my soy beans, a tornado leveled my barn, and now I think I'm gonna get screwed out of my peaches." | ||
| Terribletim |
 That's funny! | ||
| Ridrx |
+1 | ||
| Wolfridgerider |
An alcoholic, a miser and a gay man all died in a car crash. They arrived at the pearly gates together and St. Peter said they would need to be tested before he let them in. Their first stop was a bar. The alcoholic fought the temptation, but finally, he gave in and ordered a beer. Immediately, the floor opened up and he dropped down to hell. The other two men started to leave the bar when a patron dropped a ten dollar bill on the floor. The miser eyed it, and the gay man said, "If you bend over to pick that up, we’re both goners." | ||
| Tdiddy |
I think were all going to hell.  | ||
| Froggy |
So what if we do, it would of been worth the trip  | ||
| Wile_ecoyote |
I'll meet ya'll there. I'll be in my assless chaps with the tophat and cape. Mayor of Hell. | ||
| New12r |
Hell, I have reserved seating! | ||
| Djkaplan |
A priest and a rabbi go into a bar together. The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this... some kind of joke?" What IS this, some kind of joke? WHAT is THIS, some kind of joke? You know... that's just not funny. | ||
| Gbr |
My favorite bumper sticker "Where am I going, and why am I in this handbasket?" | ||
| Saintly |
A priest & a rabbi are sitting on a park bench when a young boy walks past. The priest turns to the rabbi and says: "I'd like to screw him!" To which the rabbi replies: "Out of what?" | ||
| Doon |
Along the lines of Saintly's.. A Teacher, a lawyer and a priest are on the titanic as it is going down. The Teacher says save the children, the lawyer says screw the children. The priest looks at his watch and says do you think we have enough time? |
