| Author | Message | ||
     Mr_grumpy |
A man in Topeka, Kansas, decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco, and started working east from there. Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall, and was intrigued with a sign that read, "$10,000 per minute." Seeking out the pastor, he asked about the phone and the sign. The pastor answered that the golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to Heaven, and if he pays the price, he can talk directly to God. The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in Seattle, Salt Lake City, Denver, Chicago, Milwaukee, and around the United States, he found more such phones, with the same sign, and the same explanation from each pastor. Finally, the man arrived in the great state of Texas. Upon entering a church, behold: he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read: "Calls: 25 cents"!? Fascinated, the man asked to speak with the pastor. "Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone, and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven, and that I could use it to talk to God.... But in 20 other churches, the cost was $10,000 per minute. Your sign says 25 cents per call. ....Why is that? The pastor, smiling benignly, replied: "Son, you're in Texas now! and it's a local call." | ||
| Slaughter |
A man was stuck in a phone booth and needed to make a call for a tow truck. He only has a quarter in change - he doesn't have the $0.50 in coin for the 3 minutes so he calls the operator. The operator tells him that the cost will be $.50 for the first 3 minutes and he flies into a rage telling her that back home in Texas, he could call to hell and back for a quarter. She replies that yes, but that was a local call. | ||
| U4euh |
Texan CHARM Two nicely dressed ladies happen to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport. The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man. The second was a well mannered elderly woman from Texas. When the conversation centered on whether they had any children the California woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me." The lady from Texas commented, "Well, isn't that precious?" The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz." Again, the lady from Texas commented, "Well, isn't that precious?" The first woman continued boasting, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet." Yet again, the Texan lady commented, "Well, isn't that precious?" The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?" "My husband sent me to charm school,"declared the Texan lady. "Charm school?" the first woman cried, "Oh my God! What on earth for?" said the first woman. Texas responded, "Well for example, instead of saying "Who gives a shit?" I learned to say, "Well, isn't that precious?" |
