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Wolfridgerider
Posted on Thursday, June 21, 2007 - 09:15 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

..... or at least one that wont get the thread deleted....

http://www.funtechtalk.com/vibrator-found-in-uncon scious-hit-and-run-victim
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Gentleman_jon
Posted on Thursday, June 21, 2007 - 10:03 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Follow up reports on this incident: turns out she was a Buell City Cross rider.

She was playing a track that was basically the recorded with a mike placed near the fatlet on her original Drummer.

She often played on her daily commute, made her think she was riding her Buell to work, instead of just taking the bus.

Seems that the vibrator was required to more fully replicate the riding experience.

Makes sense.

Sort of.

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Ft_bstrd
Posted on Thursday, June 21, 2007 - 10:23 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

I hear she also smeared a smidge of Formula+ on her upper lip to complete the illusion.
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Danger_dave
Posted on Thursday, June 21, 2007 - 11:22 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Stab victim 'continued masturbating'
Christine Kellett | June 20, 2007 - 11:44AM

A Brisbane woman stabbed a male friend twice in the shower after he refused to stop masturbating in front of her children.

Defence lawyers for Kylie Louise Wilson, 28, said the mother of two "lost it" when her friend of six years, Daniel Peter Blair, went on a masturbation marathon on April 6 last year.

Brisbane's District Court this morning heard Mr Blair had showed up at Wilson's Birkdale unit, in Redland Shire, where he took amphetamines before having a shower.

Whilst in the bathroom, Mr Blair, 32, began pleasuring himself, before moving to Wilson's bedroom, where he rolled around naked on her bed and continued his lewd conduct.

He returned to the bathroom for more and was busted by Wilson, who was attempting to bath her three-and-a-half year-old daughter.

The court heard Mr Blair refused her repeated requests to stop, prompting her to fetch a knife from the kitchen which she used to stab him twice in the left shoulder.

Crown prosecutors said Mr Blair paused only to put on his shorts and flee outside to wait for police to arrive, but was again overcome by the urge.

"Despite his injury, it seems (Mr Blair) continued to masturbate while in the garage," the prosecutor said.

Police took him to hospital where he received treatment for the minor stab wounds.

Wilson pleaded guilty to one count each of unlawful wounding and wilful damage.

Her defence barrister, Mark Johnson, said Wilson regarded Mr Blair as a "tolerably decent person" when he was not using drugs, but had become "extremely protective" of her daughter under the circumstances.

"He was in and out and round about, doing this sort of thing all over the house, " Mr Johnson said.

"She just lost it, to put it crudely."

Senior Judge Gilbert Trafford Walker accepted the Crown's submission that Wilson had been subjected to "grossly offensive conduct ... which in a moral sense amounts to extreme provocation."

He sentenced her to nine months' jail but ordered that she be immediately released on parole.
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Glitch
Posted on Thursday, June 21, 2007 - 11:24 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Ouch! Stabbed in the shower, that had to hurt.
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Wolfridgerider
Posted on Thursday, June 21, 2007 - 11:58 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Daniel Peter Blair, went on a masturbation marathon on April 6 last year.

Now thats funny!!

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Interceptor
Posted on Thursday, June 21, 2007 - 01:53 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

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Cityxslicker
Posted on Thursday, June 21, 2007 - 02:31 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

I need to get stock in that company, I have a feeling they are going to make a killing in sales. If they ever get a cell phone attachment, I will have to quit riding all together. The drivers arent paying attention as it is
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Ft_bstrd
Posted on Saturday, June 23, 2007 - 04:05 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

If you think about it, Mr. Blair probably saved his own life. If he had allowed all that blood to rush back to the stab wounds, he would have probably have bled out.

He was using his hard-on as a second spleen. : D
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U4euh
Posted on Sunday, June 24, 2007 - 12:58 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

That's just not right Jeremy.






Funny but true!!!!!
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Ft_bstrd
Posted on Sunday, June 24, 2007 - 09:31 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Consider the source, my friend. Consider the source. : D

Topical criticism coming from a guy willing to throw two elderly dummies over the rail just to take a snapshot of a guy in a bra.
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U4euh
Posted on Sunday, June 24, 2007 - 11:59 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

TSK!! TSK!!

Hey it was only the elderly woman!!!!
Still funny though.

I cut myself on the fence this afternoon and immediatley ran to the front yard:
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Ft_bstrd
Posted on Monday, June 25, 2007 - 01:57 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

"Honey, I cut my finger REALLY REALLY BAD! I need YOUR help!" : D

BRILLIANT!!!!
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