| Author | Message | ||
     Swordsman |
What it takes to be a Walmart Greeter: An office manager at Walmart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job. The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?" Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT." It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of." "That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir?" he asked the second man. "Hmm.! Let me see. A BLINK ! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of." "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed." He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply. Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of." The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light," he said. Turning to `Bubba`, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question. Old Bubba replied, "After hearing the three previous answers, It's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA." "WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. "Oh I can explain." said Old Bubba. "You see the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but, before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already shit in my pants." Look for Bubba at your local Wal-Mart ~SM | ||
| Xbrad9r |
Good one... here is an Olympic joke. There was this Russian wrestler who had perfected what he called the "pretzel hold" and was undefeated throughout his entire career...and the hold had never been escaped or broken... An American wrestler had made it to the finals for the Gold medal and his coach spent several hours showing him videos of the Russians matches and instructing him on how to avoid getting caught in the "pretzel"... the match started and the American spent the entire first period dodging and dancing around to avoid getting in trouble, but as the second period got underway and the Russian caught the American, it took only a few seconds for him to lock in the pretzel... it looked like it was over and the ref was about to blow the whistle when all the sudden he exploded out of the pretzel hold and landed on top of the stunned Russian and quickly the ref slapped the mat for the pinfall... the American coach could not believe what he had just seen, he ran to his wrestler gave him a huge hug and asked how on earth he was able to break the hold...the American said I was folded up and clamped so tightly, I started to look for any daylight I could find to try to see if I could escape...then I noticed these two hairy balls hanging in front of my face and I bit down on them hard out of instincts. Coach, I then discovered it is amazing what your body can do after you bite yourself in the nuts. | ||
| Etennuly |
Oh crap!  I should not have read this thread while I'm working. |
