| Author | Message | ||
     Blublak |
Famous Sex Quotes ... "Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." Woody Allen "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." Rodney Dangerfield "There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL." Lynn Lavner "Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." Camille Paglia "Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant." George Burns "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship." Sharon Stone "Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." Tiger Woods "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." Jack Nicholson "Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor) "Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." Robin Williams "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." Billy Crystal "According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful." Robert De Niro "There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?" Dustin Hoffman "There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'." Jerry Seinfeld "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." Robin Williams " It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom." Joan Rivers " Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy." Steve Martin " You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life." Elmo Phillips " Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same." Oscar Wilde " It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married." George Burns | ||
| Cityxslicker |
On the first George Burns quote, I read it kind of fast and I thought it said incarceration not incarnation.. but that is funny too | ||
| Naustin |
Sex is like a chinese dinner.... Its not over until you both get your cookie. | ||
| Buellinachinashop |
Don't add ground pepper and crutons to a tossed salad. | ||
| Cereal |
The Tiger Woods quote is a rip off from Robbin Williams Live at the Met 1985. One of the best stand up routines ever. | ||
| Phantom5oh |
"Of all my relations, I like sex best." 1959 Postcard | ||
| Doughnut |
"You'll learn it the same way I did, in the back of an alley from some guy smoking a cigar." You really don't want to know the who or the what. | ||
| Bomber |
For all the technical writers out there (er, that would be limited to me, I guess) Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing. - Dick Brandon | ||
| Milo_h |
Sex is like air, you don't really think about it much.......... unless your not getting any!!! Peace Milo (or in this case....piece) :-) | ||
| Panic |
There's a somewhat more famous quote by Camille Paglia: "All men should die". Or was that Germaine Greer, Betty Friedan... Yes, it was all of them. | ||
| Metalstorm |
Yank my Doodle it's a Dandy  | ||
| Vanvideo |
Scientists have finally identified the substance that kills a woman's sex drive - a wedding cake. Why does a bride smile on her wedding day? Because she knows she's given her last bl*wjob. |
