| Author | Message | ||
     Jon |
I'll start with this one from Court Canfield - "The internet is a playground where midgets claim to be NBA All-Stars." Wow. That is sooo true. Very well put, Court. Put your best quotes here. Preferably ones that are home grown like Court's above. So that means no Winston Churchill or MacArthur quotes. | ||
| Etennuly |
"Here I stand, with my feet planted firmly in mid-air". From a friend D. Murphy, based long long ago, on the prospect of being unemployed in a weak economy. | ||
| Diablobrian |
"Remind me to tell you...." Another Court Canfield quote. It goes with "that is an Accurate (or inaccurate) statement" | ||
| Nutsnbolt |
"... walkin' into the lion's den with a pork chop suit..." Norm Peterson... Cheers. "... that's funnier than a busted crutch." (you have to picture somone using a busted crutch) "one legged man in an ass kickin contest." "kick his ass, sea bass!!!" (from the RINGER) "... we had ice cream????" | ||
| Jackbequick |
Sort of like quotes, really more like brain farts: Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever," --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest. `````````````````````````````````` "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey ```````````` "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign. ````````````````````````````````````````````````` "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward. ````````````````````````````````````````````` "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC. `````````````````````````````````````````````````` `` "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," --A congressional candidate in Texas. ```````````````````````````` "Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark `````````````````````````````````` "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President `````````````````` "I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." -- Dan Quayle `````````` "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need ?" --Lee Iacocca ``````````` "The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &sports analyst. ``````````````````````````````````````````` "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people." --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor. ````````````````````````````````` "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." --Keppel Enderbery ```````````````` "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina ```````````````````````````````````````````` "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman Jack | ||
| Hammer71 |
" Arguing on the internet is like running in the Special Olympics..... Win or lose you're still retarded" | ||
| Cochise |
Famous quote from George Washington: "I think I have termites in my teeth." "I'm happier than a tornado in a trailer park" -Tow Mater "Even if it was a perfect World, it wouldn't be." -Yogi Bera | ||
| Damnut |
I'm gonna beat my d*ck like it owes me money!!!!--------Dave Chappelle | ||
| Jon |
My side hurts! This thread is already better than I thought it would be. ...Walking into a lions den wearing a pork shop suit...  | ||
| Halffast |
“Procrastination is like mast#rbation, at first it seems like a good idea. But, in the end you realize you’re only scr*wing yourself.” Not sure who said it? | ||
| Oldog |
"er he done $hit and fell back on it" A highschool friend "e's busier than a one arm paperhanger in a hurricane" ?? "I have three things that are short, My memory, My attention span, and what were we talking about again ?" - OlDog "You'l stick out like a bagle in a bucket of grits" - Bert Renolds Myself and an electrician in LA [ lower alabama ] Me "those screws are kinda small, want to use my instrument screw driver for those?" Ele, while jamming his too large kline driver into the part "Naw Im good at working with small stuff," Me Before thinking "My condolences to your wife" "No matter what the problem one of these things will cure it,  Bayer Aspirin { its a headache } Preperation H { its a PITA } Jack Daniels { forget it } Oldog "Dam'n it boy" Lance / Tommy F Mineola Tex "looks like He stepped on his D*ck,........... Again" The Court story of: The intelectual telling him that he did not believe in things that he could not see. Court then instructs him to place 2 of the butter knifes on the table in to the verticle slots in a 120v 15a recptical across the room, Then would he please tell him, (Court) if the electricity that would be knocking him acoss the room was real or not. Oldog (Message edited by oldog on November 27, 2006) (Message edited by oldog on November 27, 2006) | ||
| Jaimec |
"It's a dog-eat-dog world and I'm wearing milkbone underwear" - N. Peterson | ||
| Bomber |
The police are not here to create disorder, they're here to preserve disorder. Richard J Daley, 1969 | ||
| Pwnzor |
"Better to be a smart ass than a dumb shit" --George Benjamin Dowling III (grandpa) | ||
| Jaimec |
"What Indians?" -- George Armstrong Custer | ||
| Wolfridgerider |
We cheat the other guy....and pass the $avingns on to you (anyone in sales to the customer they are currently talking to) | ||
| Cochise |
He's definitely not the brightest bulb in the knife drawer. | ||
| Diablobrian |
"I'm Sofa-King Cool"- t-shirt in the movie "Accepted" | ||
| Smokescreen |
"We the unwilling, led by the unknowing, doing the impossible for the ungrateful" USMC Engineer Creed | ||
| Slaughter |
From our staff meeting: We're doing more like we are today than we EVER have! (I just love using that - just to see who's paying attention) | ||
| Bcordb3 |
"Exactly how long have you been stupid?" author unknown | ||
| Leftcoastal |
"It's no wonder you were sick - Yer stomach was full of PUKE!" Tim Howard Newcomb's Ranch Party w/ 5 cent draft beers, 1979 | ||
| Pwnzor |
"If people weren't meant to eat animals, then why are they all covered with meat?" --Masked Man (at a PETA meeting) | ||
| Cochise |
PETA People Eating Tasty Animals | ||
| Rocketman |
"Brass it out Danny. Brass it out". Michael Caine - Man Who Would Be King Rocket | ||
| Metalstorm |
This is the earliest I've ever been late! Author unknown You laugh at me because I am different. I laugh at you because you are all the same. Author unknown. | ||
| Nutsnbolt |
"I'm as hungry as a hostage" Heard that a year after I joined the Marines on the way to the Chow Hall. -SSgt Josh Lockhart, USMC "There's 3 types of Beer.... Free, Cold, and Another." -Most servicemen/women that I know. | ||
| Arbalest |
"I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight. You will always be ugly." "You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny." "Growing OLD is mandatory. Growing UP is optional." I always use the Google when surfing the internets. (paraphrase) "Strategery!!!" | ||
| Essthreetee |
I like this one best, from my four year old son this morning: "I like all the Buells...but I don't like Harleys..."  | ||
| Djkaplan |
"Was I walking to the campus or away from the campus before I stopped to talk to you?" Albert Einstein |
