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Newfie_buell
Posted on Monday, May 15, 2006 - 07:21 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

A Newfie, a little man, was sitting at a bar inToronto when this huge, burly American guy walks in. As he passes the Newfie, he hits him on the neck knocking him to the floor.

The big, burly Yank says, "That's a karate chop from Korea."

Well, the little Newfie gets back on his barstool and resumes drinking his beer.
The burly American then gets up to go to the bathroom and, as he walks by the Newfie, he hits him on the other side of the neck and knocks him to the floor.

That's a judo chop from Japan", he says.

The litttle Newfie decides he's had enough and leaves. A half hour later he comes back and sees the burly American sitting at the bar. He walks up behind him and whacks him on the head, knocking him out.

The Newfie says to the bartender, "When he wakes up, tell him that was a hockey stick from Canadian Tire."
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1313
Posted on Monday, May 15, 2006 - 07:24 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)


Red Meat


1313
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Kdan
Posted on Tuesday, May 16, 2006 - 12:47 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

I hate you Milkman Dan.
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Cadzilla
Posted on Friday, May 19, 2006 - 03:05 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

These two guys out hunting find a hole in the woods that's about three feet across, but it's so deep that when they drop a rock, they hear no sound. So they drop a bigger rock, but they still hear nothing.

So they go looking for something larger, and they find a railroad tie, haul it over to the hole, and heave it in. It also disappears without a sound.

Suddenly a goat comes running up at about sixty miles an hour and dives headfirst into the hole. And there's still no sound. Nothing.

Suddenly a farmer appears from the woods and says, "HEY! You fellas seen my goat around here?"

And they say, "Well, there was a goat just ran by here real fast and dove into this hole here."

"Naw," says the farmer, "that couldn't be my goat. My goat was tied up to a railroad tie."
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Luvinit
Posted on Friday, May 19, 2006 - 04:46 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

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Mr_grumpy
Posted on Saturday, May 20, 2006 - 01:44 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Oh dear, I'm crying here, that's priceless! thanks.
(Just got to work out how to translate it into French now.)
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Midknyte
Posted on Monday, May 22, 2006 - 12:56 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

http://www.boardsmag.com/screeningroom/commercials/2860/
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Midknyte
Posted on Friday, May 26, 2006 - 01:06 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Some bikers rode to a retreat in the mountains, and to save money they decided to sleep two to a room.

No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored badly, so they decided the only way to be fair was for each of them to spend one night sleeping in Daryl's room.

The first biker slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all blood-shot. They said, 'Man, what happened to you?' He said, 'Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night.'

The next night it was a different biker's turn. In the morning, same thing--hair all standing up, eyes all blood-shot. They said, 'Man, what happened to you? You look awful!' He said, 'Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I watched him all night.'

The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly biker who'd done some time in prison. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. 'Good morning.' They couldn't believe it! They said, 'Man, what happened?' He said, 'Well, I used a technique I learned in the big house. When we got ready for bed I went over and tucked Daryl into bed and kissed him good night. After that, he sat up and watched me all night.'
The hard part is deciding which one to ride...
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