| Author | Message | ||
     Tripp |
having trouble with invitro, my wife has gone through her second cycle with no pregnancy resulting. the first time we got two eggs, both fertilized and resulted in the best type of embryos (HIPS?) and she unfortunately got her period a week later after insertion. this time we got 6 eggs but none fertilized. so now, the wife is super depressed and might not try again. this is very upsetting to me since i had to get a ten thousand dollar operation which involved slicing my balls open, not being able to walk for two weeks and not being able to ride for a month! now i hear from them (via my wife) that there are two types of sperm and all they have left is the not so good type. i'm having a hard time with this because from what i understand they got 15 million sperm from me and only used 8!!!!! has anyone gone through invitro? is it super hard to get pregnant this way? should we give up? all i know is i really don't want my genitals cleaved open again, and i think this is what they're (invitro clinic) suggesting. unfortunately, i can't just provide them with another sample by going in the bathroom with a cup as i have complications involving a bad cystic fibrosis gene rendering me sterile. any info would be greatly appreciated. | ||
| Jlnance |
Sorry Tripp, that sucks. I don't have any wisdom for you. I know this sort of thing drives people crazy. Try and stay sane. | ||
| Luvthemtorts |
Tripp, I know it is easy to say but try to not get discouraged and continue to move forward. I have a friend whos' wife had to have the procedure multiple times before she became pregnant. Unfortunately it ended up costing him $75,000 but two years later the money means very little to him when he holds his son. In the meantime try praying and keeping a positive attitude. Best of luck!! | ||
| Tramp |
I was a sperm donor at stanford, if that helps.  boys freeze real well, strong swimmers, etc... (in vitro may just be the move for youze two....good success rates result from the sperm/ovum match. | ||
| Aldaytona |
No, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. sorry, just couldn't pass up the invitation................................. | ||
| Tripp |
lol, i expected a little razzing considering the subject matter, i was really just venting. however, i've received info on this board on an amazing amount of off the wall stuff. badwebbers are a really well rounded group of people. | ||
| Doughnut |
Tripp, Keep the Faith! (Message edited by Doughnut on October 03, 2005) | ||
| Jon |
I'll second the suggestion to pray. He is the Father of life. On the other hand, don't think that He's picking on you either. Tired...more later. | ||
| Mr_grumpy |
Tripp, my first wife & I tried for many years to have a child & she mis-carried a couple of times, she didn't want the IVF (15-20 years ago it wasn't so easy or reliable) & the specialists could find nothing particularly wrong with either of us. She went through the same sort of depression your other half seems to be going through, not wanting to try so she couldn't be disappointed etc. We eventually had to accept we weren't going to have kids, & a few months after that she became pregnant. My daughter is now nearly 14, with my long legs & brains & her mothers chest, she's bike mad, begs to go on the back of the Buell when she comes, & has her own jacket & lid here. Keep trying man, nature has it's own way of working these things out. Stress is often a major factor in these things, so try & be cool about it & relax, qué sèrà sèrà. I presume you've had all the advice about loose clothing & letting em swing etc. Also try & make sure friends & family don't push the issue, people who come out with "why haven't you 2 had kids yet?" aren't helping any. You're not alone, lots of people have the same problem, two of my best friends visited us here last weekend with their 3 month old baby, they'd been trying for 7 years! Don't forget adoption, there's alot of kids out there could use a loving home. If you want to talk, my number's in the RAN, just remember the time difference.  (Message edited by Mr_grumpy on October 04, 2005) | ||
| Hans |
Trip, Maybe it is a good idea to give the subject a rest for a fixed time: Half a year or a year, before you both decide what to do. Take your time to consider (again) also other possibilities: Sperm donorship, staying without kids, adoption. Or maybe to repeat the same procedure. Sperm donorship is not that bad. 40 Years ago, the general advise was, to keep it all secret for the family and everybody not directly involved in the procedure. I never forget the proud "father", when he told me that even his mother in law said, that the newborn boy was looking like him. They were still very happy, when I lost track of them, after many years. Keep faith, Hans | ||
| Jackbequick |
Do you wear jockey shorts? If so change to boxer shorts. You may be overheating the little buggers and they show up for work moderately brain damaged with a "southern mentality" (i.e., too lazy to work and looking for a free ride). That worked for two friends of mine. Only takes a month or two to get a healthy, stronger, crew ready to go to work. Kids. The only thing that can be mass produced in the back seat of a car by unskilled teenagers. Jack | ||
| Bomber |
lots of kids out there starving for the love you and your wife can share with them -- just another data point for the chart | ||
| CJXB |
I was a sperm donor at stanford, if that helps. boys freeze real well, strong swimmers, etc... Eeewww, does that mean you could actually have children out there fathered by you and you wouldn't even know it or care ?? That is so sad and pathetic to me, I know some folks see no issue with that !  I'd consider adoption myself, I know some people think you can't love an adopted child like your own, but I do. I had that discussion once with someone when my son was about 5 and I told that person that if it was proved beyond a shadow of a doubt he was switched at birth and not mine, that whoever had my child could keep him because I wouldn't give up the boy I had !! I also raised a step son, he lived with us, and he's just like my own as well. So yea this is my plug for adoption !! Tripp I hope it all works out well, and I do understand your wife being depressed, maybe like some of the others suggested just take a little break for a while ! CJ  | ||
| Cruisin |
Tripp - I know the feeling. My wife has PCOS and wasn't producing eggs. She had to take fertility medicine. We were nervous about multiples (her mom's a twin, {her} mom's a twin, {her} mom's a twin...it goes back about five generations, not to mention that her dad's dad is a twin. We had to try a few months, then increase the dosage, try again...repeat. After over four years we were starting to lose hope. We were just about to give up when we found out the last round of medicine she did successfully release an egg. We tried again and voila! My beautiful daughter is now ten months old. Our next step was IVF... I would keep trying - you've come this far. (Message edited by cruisin on October 04, 2005) | ||
| Davegess |
Tripp, my wife and I tried for a year, never did any of the expensive stuff, we decided why spend 10000 plus and take a year and maybe still not get results. Being 47 had somethign to do with that. We adopted. Went to Russia. Our daughter is simply terrific. Doubt we could have done as well outselves  | ||
| Tramp |
take some time to think about it, like so many here have said. It certainly sound slike you've got plenty o' viable 'boys' swimming about, hence the good news re: in vitro. cuts out that murky middleman known as "chance". no need for donor sperm. As to the wierd ethics regarding sperm donation, I personally think that, being the 'boys' are going ot be 'cycled' and likely ...er......not utilized'.... it's a good thing to provide someone else with a chance to uitilize 'em. applicants for donation (i mean on the receiving end) pick through a list of qualities which take into account height, weight, haircolour, ethnic background, IQ, physique, quantifiable accomplishments ("donor #81565623 held three worldcup snowboarding titles and a bench press record for the middleweight division..." etc., etc.) Collegiate degree(s), etc. If some couple is having issues on the sperm side of the equation, and they like the sound of my background, I'm happy to oblige. doesn't bother me, as those couples are screened rigourously enough. plus, the $ and the weekly "film" in the little donation room were really swell. Given a choice between wasting strong DNA or giving it the chance to create new life for a loving couple, I'll take option B. but, hey- that's just me. (i undertsand your trepidation regarding sperm donation, CJxb, but if you and mr. XB were having 'supply side' issues, you might see it differently. it's a load to think about) (Message edited by tramp on October 04, 2005) | ||
| Cruisin |
Tramp, I hear ya. There are a lot of couples that can't have kids because of the HUSBAND. So if they really want kids and the wife is fine, why not at least have a child that bears half of the parents genes instead of none? Don't get me wrong, adoption is great also, but if given the choice of having an adopted child with no blood ties or a child that my wife has carried herself, I'll pick option B. But that's my choice. Then again Tramp, depending on the wife, they could always go direct  if the husband doesn't mind. (Message edited by cruisin on October 04, 2005) | ||
| Cruisin |
does that mean you could actually have children out there fathered by you and you wouldn't even know it or care ?? That is so sad and pathetic to me, I know some folks see no issue with that ! : ( I believe Tramp does care. That's why he did it. He's not going to try to find out if any were used and successful because that would be selfish. The parents know the situation and that's for them to live with. Having someone butt in and remind them that the kid really isn't all theirs would be inconsiderate. It's Tramp's gift to parents who want to have a child - the mom can carry and give birth to her own child. To give that gift to someone without any strings attached is about as caring as it can get.} | ||
| Bigdaddy |
*thread-jacker* Tramp, Do you still lift? Biggie on the horizon,,, Oct 23 USAPL Southeastern USA Regional BP & PL Championships - Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. 1475 or so may get you a Budapest vacation next year (of course you've got to buy your own ticket :-).) G2 | ||
| Tripp |
thanks for all the encouragement folks! i knew posting my concerns here would make me feel better, and i really appreciate the input! i guess we're gonna sit out a cycle and try again. btw jack, i've always worn boxers - i just don't have a vas defrens due to cystic fibrosis, however, the underpant thing is good info and true! if it does'nt work next time adoption is fine by me, i have been considering it since the difficulties started and coincidently i was thinking of russia. dave, was it difficult? we will try at least one more time (i hope), i guess it all depends on the wife. oh, and grumpy i truly believe stress has been a major factor in the failures, my wife is a complete mess, totally stressed out, i've been doing my best to keep her calm but it's a losing battle, and her family certainly is'nt helping, they're driving her nuts. and all of this while we're trying to start a new business! we get to talk to the doctor nov. 10th, i'll post a follow up after i grill him for info. thanks for all the support and good wishes! | ||
| Tramp |
You'll be fine with your own 'boys'...let the doctor perform in vitro after a spermectomy. this thread's title is a loaded question...i think in vitro will make a vas differens in the outcome.... don't make me out to be strictly about charity, like i said, the $ and the movies, during my lunch hour, were great. ...was a small load, i did it by hand.... (haven't been involved in lifting, esp. competitively, since the late 80s. held a nice bench title at venice (LA County Dep't. Of Parks and Recreation) for some time. I'm a good 30# underweight, presently. feel free to kick sand in my face anytime... -98 pound trampling) | ||
| Cruisin |
Nothing like getting a little pocket cash to watch porn, right Tramp? The pocket money is just an incentive to go in and make the "deposit". It doesn't mean that it's not a good deed. You're still potentially benefiting a loving couple with a blood related offspring (at least for the mom). Nice try Tramp, but you can't come out worse on this one - you're still a good man for doing it (literally). | ||
| Cruisin |
Now back to the subject. Tripp, I know how you feel. My wife was starting to drive me nuts. The worries, the concern, etc. It was rough, but as I said, all of that doesn't matter a bit now that I have my daughter. Hang in there, do what you need to do, and hopefully it will all work out. | ||
| CJXB |
Nice try Tramp, but you can't come out worse on this one - you're still a good man for doing it (literally).  I don't get it, willing to get paid for your sperm and watch free porn during lunch hour ?? I guess I think the ability to have a child is a gift from God and to sell a potential child but not father the child, what price would you put on your child ?? | ||
| Cruisin |
Depends...how much you willin' to offer? | ||
| Bomber |
CJ -- don't MAKE me act like an ex-moderator, now, hear? bless your heart | ||
| Newfie_buell |
At times I could say take them all but naw. All I had to do was look at my wife and she was preggy. Isn't it scary that there could be little Tramps out there in the universe. I'd say those receipients are lucky you could "LEND A HAND" Tripp, Keep trying my friend - thats where the fun is. | ||
| Cruisin |
Newfie - now THAT'S a thought that scares me. It's not whether or not I father a child, it's that a woman might be able to mother one. I know how my wife was when pregnant, with that baby growing inside her. If one woman can have that experience because of a sperm donation, it makes it all worthwhile. The money is just incentive, since it is a little bit awkward to do that in their office. | ||
| CJXB |
Yea all sperm donors are "noble" guys sacrificing for the good of mankind !! Sheessshhhh Alright Bomber, I'll try to behave now, you know it's hard for me to not get into trouble when it comes to the things I say !! | ||
| Bomber |
which is why you are so well loved, ma'am ;-} |
