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Mikej
Posted on Tuesday, July 05, 2005 - 03:10 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

edit: " the preceeding advertisement was moved to the "links" section of the board " ; )

This commercial was brought to you by Tmuzzillo,
aka: Anthony Muzzillo .

You've seen his work on Saturday morning infomercials and probably recognize his voice or scripting from your workday morning drive-time commute. Yes sir ee Bob! You too can have this unique item if you act now, there's only 15 seconds left on the promotion so hurry up before this Blue Light Special is gone. And for the first fifteen callers he'll even throw in a one-of-a-kind butter knife that also works as a peanut butter or jam spreader as well, and wait it also works as a gasket scraper too. 'scuse me now I've got a call to make.


(Message edited by mikej on July 07, 2005)
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Henrik
Posted on Tuesday, July 05, 2005 - 03:40 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

"it slices, it dices, it makes 1000's of julienne fries ..."

; )

Henrik
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99buellx1
Posted on Tuesday, July 05, 2005 - 04:04 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Well, at least he made it sound unrehearsed.

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Spiderman
Posted on Tuesday, July 05, 2005 - 07:04 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Next from BikeCo the Bling King AKA the Bedazzler
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Hattori_hanzo
Posted on Tuesday, July 05, 2005 - 07:44 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Cue Monty Python:

SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM...SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM...
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Fullpower
Posted on Wednesday, July 06, 2005 - 01:10 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

poser
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Henrik
Posted on Wednesday, July 06, 2005 - 08:40 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

From Tom Waits;

Step Right Up

Step right up
step right up
step right up
Everyone's a winner, bargains galore
That's right, you too can be the proud owner
Of the quality goes in before the name goes on
One-tenth of a dollar
one-tenth of a dollar
we got service after sales
You need perfume? we got perfume
how 'bout an engagement ring?
Something for the little lady
something for the little lady
Something for the little lady, hmm
Three for a dollar
We got a year-end clearance, we got a white sale
And a smoke-damaged furniture
you can drive it away today
Act now, act now
and receive as our gift, our gift to you
They come in all colors, one size fits all
No muss, no fuss, no spills
you're tired of kitchen drudgery
Everything must go
going out of business
going out of business
Going out of business sale
Fifty percent off original retail price
skip the middle man
Don't settle for less
How do we do it?
how do we do it?
volume, volume, turn up the volume
Now you've heard it advertised, don't hesitate
Don't be caught with your drawers down
Don't be caught with your drawers down
You can step right up, step right up

That's right, it filets, it chops
It dices, slices, never stops
lasts a lifetime, mows your lawn
And it mows your lawn
and it picks up the kids from school
It gets rid of unwanted facial hair
it gets rid of embarrassing age spots
It delivers a pizza
and it lengthens, and it strengthens
And it finds that slipper that's been at large
under the chaise longe for several weeks
And it plays a mean Rhythm Master
It makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collar
And it's only a dollar, step right up
it's only a dollar, step right up

'Cause it forges your signature.
If not completely satisfied
mail back unused portion of product
For complete refund of price of purchase
Step right up
Please allow thirty days for delivery
don't be fooled by cheap imitations
You can live in it, live in it
laugh in it, love in it
Swim in it, sleep in it
Live in it, swim in it
laugh in it, love in it
Removes embarrassing stains from contour sheets
that's right
And it entertains visiting relatives
it turns a sandwich into a banquet
Tired of being the life of the party?
Change your shorts
change your life
change your life
Change into a nine-year-old Hindu boy
get rid of your wife
And it walks your dog, and it doubles on sax
Doubles on sax, you can jump back Jack
see you later alligator
See you later alligator
And it steals your car
It gets rid of your gambling debts, it quits smoking
It's a friend, and it's a companion
And it's the only product you will ever need
Follow these easy assembly instructions
it never needs ironing
Well it takes weights off hips, bust
thighs, chin, midriff
Gives you dandruff, and it finds you a job
it is a job
And it strips the phone company free
take ten for five exchange
And it gives you denture breath
And you know it's a friend, and it's a companion
And it gets rid of your traveler's checks
It's new, it's improved, it's old-fashioned
Well it takes care of business
never needs winding
Never needs winding
never needs winding
Gets rid of blackheads, the heartbreak of psoriasis
Christ, you don't know the meaning of heartbreak, buddy
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon
'Cause it's effective, it's defective
it creates household odors
It disinfects, it sanitizes for your protection
It gives you an erection
it wins the election
Why put up with painful corns any longer?
It's a redeemable coupon, no obligation
no salesman will visit your home
We got a jackpot, jackpot, jackpot
prizes, prizes, prizes, all work guaranteed
How do we do it
how do we do it
how do we do it
how do we do it
We need your business
we're going out of business
We'll give you the business
Get on the business
end of our going-out-of-business sale
Receive our free brochure, free brochure
Read the easy-to-follow assembly instructions
batteries not included
Send before midnight tomorrow, terms available
Step right up
step right up
step right up
You got it buddy: the large print giveth
and the small print taketh away
Step right up
you can step right up
you can step right up
C'mon step right up
(Get away from me kid, you bother me...)
Step right up, step right up, step right up
c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon
Step right up
you can step right up
c'mon and step right up
C'mon and step right up
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X1tx
Posted on Wednesday, July 06, 2005 - 08:55 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Better than advertising the Popeel Pocket Pool Cue Stick......
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Bomber
Posted on Wednesday, July 06, 2005 - 09:22 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Snake Oil
(Steve Earle)
Ladies and gentlemen, attention please
Come in close so everyone can see
I got a tale to tell
A listen don't cost a dime
And if you believe that we're gonna get along just fine
Now I've been travelin' all around
I heard trouble's come to your town
Well I've got a little somethin'
Guaranteed to ease your mind
It's call Snake Oil y'all
It's been around for a long, long time

Say, your crops'll burn if it don't rain soon
Ain't seen a drop since the tenth of June
Well I can open up the sky
People never fear
If you ain't impressed yet, just tell me what you wanna hear

Well you lost your farm so you moved to town
You get a job, they shut the factory down
Now you sit around all day long feelin' sad and blue
You need Snake Oil y'all, tell you what I'm gonna do

I can heal the sick, I can mend the lame
And the blind shall see again, it's all the same
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Midknyte
Posted on Wednesday, July 06, 2005 - 10:04 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

So why is this post still here?
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Mikej
Posted on Wednesday, July 06, 2005 - 10:23 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Folks are having too much fun with it.
The poster has exactly 1 post so far and most likely will never return. Just another drive-by posting on the web. He did leave a live contact link, don't know if it's to a valid email address though, maybe we should invite him back. ; )
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Road_thing
Posted on Wednesday, July 06, 2005 - 10:56 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Mid: Entertainment value, I guess. It's not obvious that Tmuzzillo is affiliated with the neon guys, but he does go on about the kit, doesn't he? That's his only post since joining BWB--makes you wonder if he's on commission...

Still, there's no smoking gun that would make me delete his post.

rt (the kindler, gentler custodian)
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Mikej
Posted on Wednesday, July 06, 2005 - 11:35 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

No smoking gun perhaps, but there is the little .25acp spent casing over on the edge of the sewer grate there:
"Just type “thestorm” in the discount box when you are ready to order."
; )
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Blake
Posted on Wednesday, July 06, 2005 - 07:16 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

I moved the opening post to the Links page.
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Mikej
Posted on Thursday, July 07, 2005 - 08:12 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only)

Great, now it looks like I started this thread.
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