| Author | Message | ||
     Captainkirk |
A Memorable ride WTF!!!???? Or something to that effect. Memorial Day Weekend, 2010. Yesterday (Saturday) had been a perfect day. I’d snuck off on Lazzy for a short ride, which ended up morphing into an extended ride. The weather was near perfect…not too hot for leathers (ATGATT!)*, not too windy, with a lazy sky the color of robin’s eggs. Lazzy was humming like a swarm of mosquitoes on a sweltering summer’s eve, purring like a contented kitten, running about as perfect as anyone could hope, for a 25-year-old bike. I milked it for what is was worth; believe me you! Not sure how far I ended up going, but it was damn near close to 100 miles. A superb ride, a great bike. One of those days when you hang on, twist the throttle, and follow the bike. I was not disappointed. Yesterday. Yesterday had gone so well, I decided to try my luck again today. I didn’t plan on taking the exact same route, just close to it. Only this time I was gonna let Rex out of the cage. It started out well, really, it did. Today was a bit warmer than yesterday; even with the visor cracked open a tad and all the vents unzipped on my Vanson jacket. (Remember; ATGATT!) I fueled up; Premium, at $3.03 a gallon, as opposed to the Regular I pumped into Lazarus yesterday, at $2.84 a gallon. Oh, well…that’s the price of performance, I suppose! Rex was running good….make that GREAT….right out of the gate. Tuning spot-on, it was there, in the groove. I headed North, into Wisconsin, as I always do. Sticking to back and side roads, pretty much the same flight path as yesterday. The sun beamed down on me; beads of sweat were forming on my forehead. I hung a left on highway UE off of K and rolled it on. The stupid things that run through your head…every time I cut left on UE I hear Robert Gordon belting out: “Ooooweee, oooooweee baby, won’t ya let me take you on a… sea cruise!” I won’t admit in public to bellowing the lyrics inside my helmet today or any other day. I’m not under oath here, ya know! I don’t think I did it today….anyway. And that is in no way or shape a confession, by any means… So, I roll on the power as I make my left on to UE (Oooowee!), whack it hard, and the buellosaurus snaps its jaws and stands up with a gutteral snarl…55 before you can say Boo! And it’s all good, and then…..Pop!snort..Fart.. wheeze… WTF!!!??? Which is where we began, no? I could feel power bleeding off. I pulled in the clutch….goosed it a few times…R’s were right there. Let out the clutch; power sagged, popping and snorting again. At the risk of sounding repetitious…..WTF!!!??? Now, even a cruise missile takes some time to land after popping through the clouds. I still had quite a bit of speed to bleed off yet, even with the clutch pulled in. Rex gradually coasted to a stop mere yards from the 142 intersection, where I had planned on turning left again and proceed to promptly whacking the throttle. Ironic, isn’t it? So, here I sit on the side of the road, clutch pulled in, engine idling away like nobody’s business, ease out the clutch, and…..Wugh. Followed by silence. I pull in the clutch, blip the START button, Rex roars to life. Ease out the clutch…..Wugh. Silence. Where were we? Ahh, yes….WTF!!!??? Think fast, MacGyver; Not ignition. Can’t be. Runs good with the clutch in. Safety switch? Ahhhh….Sure. Buells have a sordid history of sidestand safety switch failures. I lean down and pop the two-pin Molex apart; now, what to jump it with? Now, I must confess at this point, I don’t have a tool with me. Not a one. Not even the ever-present Ken Onion Designs Scallion pocket knife I carry 24/7. Nope; it’s back home on the dresser top. Why? Can’t really say. Only that I need it and don’t have it with me. I search my pockets for some help…..no joy. Wait..there’s a little wound ring-thingie attaching my Mini-Mag Light to my keychain. I unwind the ring-thingie and untwist it to form a rather awkward U-clip….and poke a hole in my finger that immediately begins bleeding profusely…sonofabitch! My attempts to insert said U-clip in the female side of the Molex prove fruitless…Rats!, as Snoopy would say. Several cars whiz by; not even slowing. A couple almost sideswipe me, here on the shoulder of this deserted road. That would Truly Suck.. “Man Found Dead In Ditch”, the headlines would trumpet…. I gotta get this gear off; it’s like 100 degrees in this leather (ATGATT!). I get the gear off….whew! That’s better! Ring-thingie takes up permanent residence among the chirping crickets and frogs in the high grass along the shoulder. With no Scallion and no tools, I grab the key with the most teeth and start sawing on the safety switch wires. Once I manage to cut through them, I hold the Molex end with two wires in my hand…with no wire strippers to be found, I result to the Leave It To Beaver method….my teeth. Knaw, twist, spit. Repeat. Soon I’m left with a chipped-feeling front tooth and two stripped wires. I twist them together, and plug the Molex back in. Suiting up, (ATGATT!) I fire Rex up. So far, so good. Cars continue to whiz by. Nobody stops, nobody slows. Nobody gives a s???; face it! I ease out the clutch; Wugh. Sigh. Off comes the gear…again. A Toyota slows and the tinted window hums down. An Oriental guy holding a map leans out and asks; “Are you flom Risconsin?” Who the hell CARES where I’m from! I think, with masked irritation….No, Illinois…..I’m just about to ask if he has any tools, but the window hums up and he drives away. The ability of humans to offer assistance in times of need is staggering…. Think., MacGyver….Again. OK: clutch safety switch? I pop the two pin Molex off THAT and curse myself for ditching the Ring-thingie. Ain’t no finding it in the High Chaparral now, baby. Gone is gone. Some little froggie is probably asking his mom right now; “Can I keep it mom? Huh? Puleeeeease…”I pull out the key ring again and find another Ring-thingie. Soon I have another awkward U-clip and manage not to perforate my finger this time, which is good, as the first perf is still leaking profusely. In trying to jumper the molex, I succeed instead in popping the whole pin out of the molex….kewl! I repeat on the other pin, slip the molex in my pocket with my bloody hand, and overlap the rolls of the two spade connectors to complete a makeshift connection. This time I do NOT suit up. (ATGATT!) Oh, shut the hell up, I mumble. Gear lying in the high chaparral in the ditch by the side of the road, I’m about to throw a leg over, when a bike rumbles by. They stop, unlike the fifteen-or-so cars that didn’t even slow down (except for the lost Jap tourist) ….. Need any help? I explain the situation. You have help on the way?A tow? Need a cell phone? Well, no..but I hope this will get it. A car pulls up behind him…impatient. He’s blocking their way…..Figures. I’m good, I say, and he waves a reluctant OK and rumbles off. I hope…I add, to myself. Coulda used your tool kit a few minutes ago, I think, running my tongue over the chip in my tooth. Throw a leg over, Thumb the starter. Rex roars to life. Ease out the clutch….. Hallelujiah! No Wugh! I mumble a silent Thank You to the Big Boss Upstairs as I suit up (ATGATT!) and throw a leg over…ease out the clutch, and roll. By God, it rolls this time! Right up to 142. Turning left, I cautiously roll it on…..then more, more! Roll it on right up to eighty as Rex bellows out his throaty clarion call, snarling as if nothing had ever been wrong to begin with. (Silly Human!) I whack it hard, like I’d planned on doing in the first place. Stupid safety switches, anyway! I decide the direct route home is probably the most prudent, at this juncture. After all, I’m still a good 30 miles from home base at best. I glance down at the two connectors sandwiched between the tach housing and handlebars, hanging out in the open breeze, and roll it up to a pleasing, throaty eighty five….stupid safety switches, anyway! MacGyver; eat your heart out! *ATGATT….All The Gear, All The Time | ||
| Fasted |
when they work, safety switches are a good thing. thanks to this forum, i have learned to always stash a couple of METAL paper clips in my agatt jacket | ||
| Littlebuggles |
Fun story and a good read, thanks for taking the time to post this up Captainkirk! Glad you got home okay, this story will give me a good starting point should my Cyclone ever try to leave me at the side of the road. | ||
| Brinnutz |
Great read! | ||
| Kalali |
Fun read. Interestingly enough I ran into the same exact situation last summer with the difference that I had no clue about the clutch safety switch. Got the bike towed home, posted the problem here and 2 minutes later someone (I think it was Oldog) pointed me to the switch. Problem fixed. I now have a handful of paperclips to my "emergency" tool kit. | ||
| Captainkirk |
Thanks for reading! I sorta like to poke fun at myself, and the world around me, when I'm not busy poking holes in my fingers with Ring-thingies. BTW...I ordered TWO safety switches from American Sport Bike; one for the clutch lever, and one for under the seat. MacGyver might not be around next time.... |
