| Author | Message | ||
     Ft_bstrd |
Found out a local friend was in a pretty bad accident. Lady, blinded by low afternoon sun, turned left in front of him. I often tell my wife about things I see when I ride. Do you tell your significant other about friend's accidents or keep them to yourself? Generally, I don't tell her about things like that. No need to increase her worry. You keep that stuff in "the vault" or talk about it openly? | ||
| Panhead_dan |
I tell her. It's part of our reality so not telling would be unrealistic. | ||
| 86129squids |
Jeremy. I actually passed a wrecked Sportster, looked to be a woman's bike, in the opposite lane back from Walland this evening. My dear, only, older Sister was hit by a truck two weeks ago... the mirror. Same scenario, driver going towards the sun. Didn't even see her... she was hit on her shoulder, got a mild case of whiplash. She was just on her daily walk around her N. Little Rock neighborhood. What Dan said... I guess. Yeah. I know how you ride, I know how I ride. If we are riders, there is that risk. I now have 3 bikes, attempting to cull down to one, maybe none... OH HEYULL NO. I'll have to have a Burgman with nitrous. Or a convertible Yugo with a twin turbo Wankel shoved in. Gotta live with wifey though. (Message edited by 86129squids on November 07, 2021) | ||
| Aesquire |
On a totally practical level not telling your SO that an accident happened to an acquaintance is far more likely to come back on you as an act of dishonesty than a well intentioned desire to spare her. Especially if it involves a risky activity you do. That's obvious motivation for selfish concealment. It might be best phrased as a "be careful because I love you" warning about careless drivers? That said, I spent years in the aviation sports that routinely published fatality and accident reports so others could avoid getting hurt and killed. I didn't point those reports out to loved ones who had misgivings about my risk taking. For the obvious selfish reasons. "Gee, honey, some guy's parachute didn't open in Arizona, dang. Oh well, I'm off to see if I packed mine right, this time." Was Not a conversation I wanted. | ||
| Ourdee |
I tell her. She is OK as long as the insurance is paid. | ||
| Hootowl |
From a ‘my friend just died’ perspective, yes, tell her. From a ‘dude got hit by a car’ perspective, no. | ||
| 86129squids |
Jeremy- I have a very good idea how much you love your wife. She probably has a pretty decent idea as to risk assessment, as she also knows Barker. I guess it's like a train wreck where you happen to know a passenger. YMMV. The consensus is tell her. | ||
| Aesquire |
Hoot condensed my view to the essentials. | ||
| Ft_bstrd |
And Hoot, that's the essence. It's a guy I know but only to the extent he shows up at the same place I do and we chat. BTW, he's the third guy to be in an accident from among this local hangout group. If my wife knows them personally, I'd say something, but she doesn't know these people and wouldn't know they had accidents. | ||
| Thumper74 |
I struggled with a similar situation sunday... I got back into mountain biking last summer and recently got into BMX bikes. One of my riding buddies bit it hard on my new BMX. Broken nose, loose tooth, bloody face, etc. He has a severe concussion. I also crashed, ended up with a broken finger and bruised ribs. I didn't want to tell her, but she's smart, so she would have probably figured it out. I've struggled with the motorcycle stuff, too. It seems like everytime I get hankering to get a new motorcycle, a friend of a friend gets maimed or killed on one, so I reevaluate my priorities. | ||
| Cupcake_mike |
In regards to your post Thumper74, isn't it weird that we (humans) are that way? I mean think about it, somebody hits a deer with a car and maybe we pay more attention to the fields next to the road, but we don't swear off car driving. I've known a few riders who swore off bikes after an acquaintance smashed a deer. I'm sure its a safety thing, i.e. a deer strike in a car is much less likely to cause harm then hitting one with a bike. If you think about it though, for most riders, the chance of hitting a deer is so much less to begin with (miles ridden, time ridden etc). Its an interesting psychological/philosophical thing, I guess. Point of fact, conversation with my wife the other day..."You're not riding to work for these night shifts are you? Its rut season" (After her friend recently smashed a deer in her car). My reply: "We've been together for 20 years, since when I haven't I ridden in november when the temp is above freezing?" Eye rolls ensue and I reassure her (for the thousandth time, when talking about MC related safety) "I am worth more than alive, so don't worry about it." | ||
| Aesquire |
I'm in "more deer than people" exurb. Had 2 rider friends hit deer. I still ride no matter the season but for superstition and reason's sake I don't ride first day of deer season ( actually first day of bow & first for shotgun, both ) and the 4th of July. The 4th is because last century I crashed, rider error, solo, mea culpa, so it's mostly just me. Deer season is just rational. They're all in freaked out mode as the hordes trample the woods. Otherwise, I ride, but I'm full alert and slow near dusk, always. Deer have run in front of me on every road on my regular drives/rides between home & relatives and friends. No exaggeration, and the days I don't see them? They're there, I just missed by a little. Risk management by skill building and self control should be universally accepted and no arguments. Risk avoidance by CHOICE, as in "I'll drive a car, but not those death bikes!" Is hilariously personal and varied. Aviation has what I call the hierarchy of crazy. Guys that fly Cessnas look down of glider guys ( "no engine? No second chances? That's Nuts!" ) that look down on hang gliders ( no fuselage ???!! ) who look down on skydivers ( open wing, then fly, ok. Jump and hope it opens? Nah. ) who look down on base jumpers, ( no margins! ) and everybody thinks squirrel suit guys and human cuisanart guys are Bug Nuts! The crazy definitions are a bit looser with motorcycles. Much more behavior than type. You might argue that a highly raked chopped is a lousy machine, or that a Kawa H2 is as stupid as a Bugatti, but that's mostly rationalizing. | ||
| Ft_bstrd |
That's kind of my point. Motorcycle riding, unless it is your SOLE means of transportation, is a luxury item. We don't NEED to ride. We ride because we enjoy it, but with that enjoyment comes a certain amount of risk assumption. No one talks about how much money they lose in Vegas. They only talk about how much they won. Likewise, no one talks about the hours and hours of safe and unnoteworthy riding that is done. They only talk about the crash. A crash event does not carry with it a Hobbs Meter of non-crash events. Even if you try to rationalize the safe hours vs the crash moment, the safe hours carry no weight. So mentioning a crash of an unknown acquaintance isn't registered rationally. It's registered emotionally. You cannot battle emotion with logic. Emotion doesn't care. Emotion wants what emotion wants to move from fear and panic to safety. Emotion logs data points to reinforce itself. Skewed data points, but emotionally self reinforcing data points nonetheless. | ||
| 86129squids |
Fat bastard brained eac! I just got my new Sedici modular... I really wanted that old brain bucket that had the Hurt study graphic on the finish. That probably wouldn't serve your needs though. | ||
| Cupcake_mike |
squids, I got that hurt study helmet. Long ago retired, hangs on the wall in the shop now. Always made the HD beanie helmet guys scratch their heads. | ||
| 86129squids |
    Dammit if I don't wonder if there are any NOS helmets like yours around. I'd need a 2XL if I found one. If I got a new black helmet, I could have the Hurt study graphic painted or stickered on... LOL! Dang HD riders with their puddin' bowls and fake DOT stickers. "Loud Fans Save Lives"... (Message edited by 86129squids on November 12, 2021) | ||
| Blake |
This dilemma reminds me of one of those old sitcoms. | ||
| 86129squids |
Horrible dilemma, like a Moebius marriage or something. |
