God is not mocked Galatians 6: 7-9 King James Version (KJV) 7. Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. 8. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. 9. And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.
Hurting Children Matthew 18:6 King James Version (KJV) 6. But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.
"strident and intolerant religious man" Show me where God is tolerant of Devils.
2 John 10-11 King James Version (KJV) 10. If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed: 11. For he that biddeth him God speed is partaker of his evil deeds. - "Neil Bohr"- Another Joke trying to explain there is no God.
Romans 1:22 King James Version (KJV) 22. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,
Three people are greeted by Saint peter at the pearly gates for in-processing. A Baptist, a Methodist, and a Catholic. Peter checks the book and tells them he will give them a quick tour while they wait for Mary and Martha to make some snacks. After Peter has shown them around a little bit of heaven the Baptist loudly asks him what is on that cloud way over there? Saint Peter quickly puts a finger to his lips while going shhhsh. He then says very quietly, "That's the pentecostals, they think they are all alone.
I’ve never met an egg I didn’t like. Or broccoli. You know when you’re at a restaurant, and there’s that last uneaten cold grayish-green piece of broccoli wilting and wallowing in a little puddle of condensed steam on a plate? I like that too.
I always enjoy attending a big potluck dinner where at least 2 people bring deviled eggs. So many versions out there. One thing I've not tried yet is a Scotch egg. Got at least one place in Knoxvegas that does them.
Maybe try sprinkling the paprika after placing the filling? I was going to eat them right away. So, I just went for it. I usually put the paprika on after. Yes, the mayo was too much for the smaller than usual number of eggs used. I will try a pastry tool next time. I have an extra that is not used for anything else.
This morning I received thrilling news: a joke I wrote more than 20 years ago has been voted the funniest religious joke of all time! In case you've missed it, here it is:
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"
Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.
Someone shared me this joke years ago, still find it funny and true:
This is a story of a man, who was a firm believer of God.
One day it began to rain very heavily. It kept raining and a big flood came. The man climbed up on the roof of his house, and knew that he would be ok. God would protect him.
It kept raining and now the water had reached his waist. A boat came by and a guy in the boat said: “Hey, jump in. We will take you with us”. “No thanks”, said the man. “I’m a firm believer in God. He will rescue me”. He sent the boat away.
It kept on raining and now the water had reached his neck. Another boat came by and a guy in the boat said: “You look like you could need some help. Jump in and we will take you with us”. “No”, said the man. “I’m a firm believer in God. He will rescue me. Don’t worry about me”. The boat sailed away.
It still rained and the water now reached his mouth. A helicopter came by and a guy in the helicopter threw down a rope and said: “Hi there my friend. Climb up. We will rescue you”. “No”, said the man. “I’m a firm believer in God. He will rescue me. I know he will”. The helicopter flew away.
It kept on raining, and finally the man drowned.
When the man died, he went to heaven. When entering Heaven, he had an interview with God. After giving a polite greeting and sitting down, the man asked: “Where were you. I waited and waited. I was sure you would rescue me, as I have been a firm believer all my life, and have only done good to others. So where were you when I needed you?” God scratched his confused looking face and answered: “I don’t get it either. I sent you two boats and a helicopter”.
I have seen this behavior. Really drives you nuts. I listened to a person allowed to give a little testimony as the music finished a little earlier than the preacher wanted to start. They talked about visiting a church and being prayed for as they needed a healing in their body. The person said they knew the healing they were feeling wasn't of God and they rejected it. I was running the sound and was knelt down on the floor in the booth to muffle my laughing. I have heard some of the funniest stuff in church. God not answering the right way for someone has always been my que to hide my expressions. I prayed and fasted for God to do something really big this one time. He answers my prayer and I can't hardly believe it. If you do not want something that is his will, don't ask.
__________________________________________ A nun who works for a local home health care agency was out making her rounds when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, there was a station just down the street. She walked to the station to borrow a can with enough gas to start the car and drive to the station for a fill up.
The attendant regretfully told her that the only can he owned had just been loaned out, but if she would care to wait he was sure it would be back shortly.
Since the nun was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. After looking through her car for something to carry to the station to fill with gas, she spotted a bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, she carried it to the station, filled it with gasoline, and carried it back to her car.
As she was pouring the gas into the tank of her car, two men walked by. One of them turned to the other and said: “Now that is what I call faith!”