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Ourdee
Posted on Monday, January 13, 2020 - 07:40 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

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86129squids
Posted on Tuesday, January 14, 2020 - 01:07 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

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Patches
Posted on Wednesday, January 15, 2020 - 06:14 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

God is not mocked
Galatians 6: 7-9 King James Version (KJV)
7. Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
8. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.
9. And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

This is what you end up with.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjFSdUjcdD0
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Patches
Posted on Wednesday, January 15, 2020 - 07:13 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Hurting Children
Matthew 18:6 King James Version (KJV)
6. But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOaqe5bEzQA
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Aesquire
Posted on Wednesday, January 15, 2020 - 07:25 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Humorless men are easily mocked.

They aren't very convincing either.

Neither in preaching the Word of the Lord, or showing they aren't a Leftist masquerading as a strident and intolerant religious man to mock the Faithful.

More flies with honey?
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Aesquire
Posted on Wednesday, January 15, 2020 - 07:29 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

God must have a sense of humor. Australian marsupials! Humans! Mammoths! Bats! That light has a speed.

"Stop telling God what to do"- Neil Bohr

(Message edited by Aesquire on January 15, 2020)
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Patches
Posted on Wednesday, January 15, 2020 - 08:27 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

"strident and intolerant religious man"
Show me where God is tolerant of Devils.

2 John 10-11 King James Version (KJV)
10. If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed:
11. For he that biddeth him God speed is partaker of his evil deeds.
-
"Neil Bohr"- Another Joke trying to explain there is no God.

Romans 1:22 King James Version (KJV)
22. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,
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Ourdee
Posted on Wednesday, January 15, 2020 - 11:53 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Patches, Why don't you take that film to your pastor so he can watch it?

(Message edited by ourdee on January 15, 2020)
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Ourdee
Posted on Thursday, January 16, 2020 - 01:55 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Why do we call foods deviled.
Would that make this homemade sin?


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Ourdee
Posted on Thursday, January 16, 2020 - 02:05 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Three people are greeted by Saint peter at the pearly gates for in-processing. A Baptist, a Methodist, and a Catholic. Peter checks the book and tells them he will give them a quick tour while they wait for Mary and Martha to make some snacks. After Peter has shown them around a little bit of heaven the Baptist loudly asks him what is on that cloud way over there? Saint Peter quickly puts a finger to his lips while going shhhsh. He then says very quietly, "That's the pentecostals, they think they are all alone.
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Blake
Posted on Monday, January 20, 2020 - 05:08 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Eww! Those devilled eggs look horrid!
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Hootowl
Posted on Monday, January 20, 2020 - 05:56 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

I’ve never met an egg I didn’t like. Or broccoli. You know when you’re at a restaurant, and there’s that last uneaten cold grayish-green piece of broccoli wilting and wallowing in a little puddle of condensed steam on a plate? I like that too.
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Ourdee
Posted on Monday, January 20, 2020 - 06:44 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

The taste was fine. I don't make pretty eggs.
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Aesquire
Posted on Tuesday, January 21, 2020 - 12:21 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

https://babylonbee.com/news/george-lucas-releases- special-edition-of-the-bible-where-malchus-attacks -peter-first
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Aesquire
Posted on Sunday, January 26, 2020 - 01:12 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Re:eggs. Taste is taste. The amount of mayo put in food would make an interesting regional study.

Funnier yet, church (potluck? ) casseroles!

I was brought up in Catholic, Lutheran, & Episcopal churches. Casseroles were different. We moved a lot for a time & I haven't sampled all 3 in one town, so I really want ; ) a study.

There's also ethnic variations. German immigrants, scandahoovian, Creol! Might need 3d graphics on the graphs!

And to really limit the scope... Green bean casserole. Fried onion from a can? Ha!



Here's irreverent humor Dara O'Brain on god.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDP0fCRUTNI
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Blake
Posted on Thursday, January 30, 2020 - 02:35 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Jeff (Hootowl):

Leftover broccoli pulled from the fridge and soaked in a light vinegar and olive oil with salt and pepper is one of my favorites.

I'd eat up RD's eggs too.


RD,

Maybe try sprinkling the paprika after placing the filling?
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Hootowl
Posted on Thursday, January 30, 2020 - 02:49 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Yes. It’s a garnish. Also, slight less mayo, and use a piping bag to fill the egg halves. You get neater and more consistent results. A ziploc bag with a corner cut off will do.
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86129squids
Posted on Thursday, January 30, 2020 - 03:07 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Those deviled eggs look heavenly!!

I always enjoy attending a big potluck dinner where at least 2 people bring deviled eggs. So many versions out there. One thing I've not tried yet is a Scotch egg. Got at least one place in Knoxvegas that does them.

Nothing like food to hijack a thread...
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Hootowl
Posted on Thursday, January 30, 2020 - 03:22 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Trying to stay on topic.

Did you hear about the Christian who made a scotch egg with sage sausage?

He thought it was awesome.

Terrible joke. Good egg. : )
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Ourdee
Posted on Thursday, January 30, 2020 - 08:37 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Maybe try sprinkling the paprika after placing the filling? I was going to eat them right away. So, I just went for it. I usually put the paprika on after. Yes, the mayo was too much for the smaller than usual number of eggs used. I will try a pastry tool next time. I have an extra that is not used for anything else.
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Ourdee
Posted on Thursday, January 30, 2020 - 08:40 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Credit to: Emo Philips

This morning I received thrilling news: a joke I wrote more than 20 years ago has been voted the funniest religious joke of all time! In case you've missed it, here it is:

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"

Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.
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Blake
Posted on Monday, February 03, 2020 - 04:11 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar.

The bartender says to them, "what is this, a joke?".
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Sami
Posted on Sunday, February 09, 2020 - 06:19 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Someone shared me this joke years ago, still find it funny and true:


This is a story of a man, who was a firm believer of God.

One day it began to rain very heavily. It kept raining and a big flood came.
The man climbed up on the roof of his house, and knew that he would be ok. God would protect him.

It kept raining and now the water had reached his waist. A boat came by and a guy in the boat said: “Hey, jump in. We will take you with us”.
“No thanks”, said the man. “I’m a firm believer in God. He will rescue me”. He sent the boat away.

It kept on raining and now the water had reached his neck. Another boat came by and a guy in the boat said: “You look like you could need some help. Jump in and we will take you with us”.
“No”, said the man. “I’m a firm believer in God. He will rescue me. Don’t worry about me”. The boat sailed away.

It still rained and the water now reached his mouth. A helicopter came by and a guy in the helicopter threw down a rope and said: “Hi there my friend. Climb up. We will rescue you”.
“No”, said the man. “I’m a firm believer in God. He will rescue me. I know he will”. The helicopter flew away.

It kept on raining, and finally the man drowned.

When the man died, he went to heaven. When entering Heaven, he had an interview with God.
After giving a polite greeting and sitting down, the man asked: “Where were you. I waited and waited. I was sure you would rescue me, as I have been a firm believer all my life, and have only done good to others. So where were you when I needed you?”
God scratched his confused looking face and answered: “I don’t get it either. I sent you two boats and a helicopter”.

(Message edited by Sami on February 09, 2020)
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Ourdee
Posted on Sunday, February 09, 2020 - 09:00 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

I have seen this behavior. Really drives you nuts. I listened to a person allowed to give a little testimony as the music finished a little earlier than the preacher wanted to start. They talked about visiting a church and being prayed for as they needed a healing in their body. The person said they knew the healing they were feeling wasn't of God and they rejected it. I was running the sound and was knelt down on the floor in the booth to muffle my laughing. I have heard some of the funniest stuff in church. God not answering the right way for someone has always been my que to hide my expressions. I prayed and fasted for God to do something really big this one time. He answers my prayer and I can't hardly believe it. If you do not want something that is his will, don't ask.

__________________________________________
A nun who works for a local home health care agency was out making her rounds when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, there was a station just down the street. She walked to the station to borrow a can with enough gas to start the car and drive to the station for a fill up.

The attendant regretfully told her that the only can he owned had just been loaned out, but if she would care to wait he was sure it would be back shortly.

Since the nun was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. After looking through her car for something to carry to the station to fill with gas, she spotted a bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, she carried it to the station, filled it with gasoline, and carried it back to her car.

As she was pouring the gas into the tank of her car, two men walked by. One of them turned to the other and said: “Now that is what I call faith!”
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Aesquire
Posted on Saturday, February 15, 2020 - 03:07 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)


calvinistklein
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