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Buell Forum » Quick Board » Archive through November 14, 2019 » Rude, Crude, Offensive or Vulgar Jokes « Previous Next »

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Crusty
Posted on Monday, August 19, 2019 - 05:18 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

What do you have when your nuts are on the wall"

Walnuts!


What do you have when you have nuts on your chest?

Chestnuts!


What do you have when there are nuts on your chin?
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A dick in your mouth!
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Airbozo
Posted on Monday, August 19, 2019 - 05:21 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

LOL!


Hey I remember that joke...
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86129squids
Posted on Monday, August 19, 2019 - 07:13 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?
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Crusty
Posted on Monday, August 19, 2019 - 07:26 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

OK; why?
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Zacks
Posted on Monday, August 19, 2019 - 07:41 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

...something about an explosion
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Pwnzor
Posted on Monday, August 19, 2019 - 08:29 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
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Beat it. We’re closed.
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86129squids
Posted on Monday, August 19, 2019 - 10:17 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

I approve of this thread.

One of my favorite quotes...

"In order to teach, one must offend.
In order to learn, one must be offended."
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86129squids
Posted on Monday, August 19, 2019 - 10:20 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Zacks wins!

"So it doesn't explode when you __ it."

I really suck at telling jokes. Looking forward...
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Gregtonn
Posted on Monday, August 19, 2019 - 11:16 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

"What do you have when you have a moth ball in each hand?"

"A damn big moth."

I told that joke to the senior hottie in high school. She gave me a blank look. Two hours later she ran up to me giggling, hugged me, kissed my cheek and said, "That was really funny."

G
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Ourdee
Posted on Monday, August 19, 2019 - 11:27 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Crusty, Gary may have rubbed off on you.
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Crusty
Posted on Tuesday, August 20, 2019 - 12:36 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

I didn't let him get that close.
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Pwnzor
Posted on Tuesday, August 20, 2019 - 06:56 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
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One snatches your watch.
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Bandm
Posted on Tuesday, August 20, 2019 - 08:07 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)



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Crusty
Posted on Tuesday, August 20, 2019 - 09:35 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

So then there was this guy who decided to throw a costume party where all the guests had to come dressed as an emotion.

The night of the party arrived and the doorbell rang.

When the host opened the door, one of the guests was standing there dressed completely in blue. "What are you?" the host asked.

"I'm depressed." the guest said.

"OK; come on in!", the host said.

A few minutes later, the bell rang again and a guest was standing there all in red.

"What are you?" the host asked.

"I'm angry!"

"Come in!"

Again, the bell rang and there was a guest completely in green.

"What are you?"

"I'm jealous!"

"Come on in!"

This continued as each guest arrived and was admitted until finally the doorbell rang once more. When the host answered it, he saw a guy who was completely naked with a pie over his crotch.

"What are You?" the puzzled host asked.

"I'm f**king dis custard!"
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Zacks
Posted on Tuesday, August 20, 2019 - 11:47 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Alright, I'll pile on.

Why do women skydivers were tampons?
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so they don't whistle on the way down.
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Sifo
Posted on Tuesday, August 20, 2019 - 04:08 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)



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86129squids
Posted on Wednesday, August 21, 2019 - 01:21 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

... need to spray them with a cold water hose??
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Ourdee
Posted on Wednesday, August 21, 2019 - 02:42 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Female dog on right is in heat.
Male dog on left just finished and can't get loose.
Male dog on top just piled on for sloppy.....
Cat was probably added into picture for humor.
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Big_island_rider
Posted on Wednesday, August 21, 2019 - 03:30 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

So a wife tells her husband she wants a boob job. He is all for it and she goes to the plastic surgeon to find out how much it will cost.

She comes back and tells her husband $5000.

He tells her that is way too much and to just rub toilet paper between her breasts 3-4 times a day.

She looks confused and asks him how will that help.

He answers: I don't know but it's done wonders for your ass.
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Crusty
Posted on Thursday, August 22, 2019 - 10:07 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Chuck sat in the barber's chair and said , "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine".
The barber began to lather his face, while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful real breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes.
Chuck said, "Young lady, you and I should go and spend some time in a hotel room".
She replied, "I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that".
The man said, "Tell him you're working overtime and I'll pay you the difference".
She said, "You tell him; you're closer".
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