| Author | Message | ||
     Chauly |
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| 86129squids |
Dang- she's got a pair of BIG "clubs" there...  | ||
| Mr_grumpy |
Probably a Newfie girl wearing a t-shirt like that. | ||
| Chauly |
Good guess, Innes... :-) But Labrador. | ||
| Sifo |
If Bruce Jenner Went Missing Would they put his picture on a carton of Half and Half? | ||
| Ourdee |
Isn't he already gone? | ||
| Hootowl |
No, he's still there. He just grew his hair out and had bags stuck in his chest. | ||
| Sifo |
Just guessing, but I think he had a new faucet installed too. | ||
| Aesquire |
Actually Bruce isn't getting any operations, except face lifts. He's not gay. He just likes to feel pretty. And advertise his new tv show. | ||
| Aesquire |
But Sifo's joke is still funny. | ||
| Midknyte |
https://youtu.be/xHCmTL_Lx5Q | ||
| 86129squids |
OMG- I just had to watch that vid, dude said "Mount Juliet"- I GREW UP in Mt. Juliet, TN!!! Wow. | ||
| Hootowl |
What would Jesus drive? A Honda. But he didn't like to talk about it. http://www.biblestudytools.com/john/12-49.html | ||
| Midknyte |
https://youtu.be/MXW0bx_Ooq4 | ||
| Reepicheep |
Ahhh, I miss the old days when TurboEncabulators simple to maintain and repair. These days, it seems you can't do anything to them without a quantum computer. | ||
| Sifo |
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| Hughlysses |
^  We used to have a Golden Retriever that didn't need a backhoe to dig like that. | ||
| Hughlysses |
“It is a slow day in a little Greek Village. The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt and everybody lives on credit. On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the village, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night. The owner gives him some keys and as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher. The butcher takes the €100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer. The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel. The guy at the Farmers’ Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the taverna. The tavern owner slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer him “services” on credit. The hooker then rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the €100 note. The hotel proprietor then places the €100 note back on the counter so the rich traveler will not suspect anything. At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, picks up the €100 note, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money and leaves town. No one produced anything. No one earned anything. However the whole village is now out of debt and looking to the future with optimism. And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how a bailout package should work (forgetting any interest owed). What are the first 3 letters in the Greek alphabet? I.O.U. "Borrowed" from: http://cyrilhuzeblog.com/2015/08/02/joke-of-the-we ek-127/#sthash.afyMR6fQ.dpuf | ||
| Sifo |
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| Uncle |
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| Slaughter |
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| Pjd2ss |
What did one llama say to another llama as they were about to go outside? I'll packa sweater. | ||
| Aesquire |
The Norwegian parliament, frustrated with the perception that theirs is a simple and uncultured land, decided to upgrade their image. They decided to follow the English lead and promoted that Norwegians serve tea at 3 every day, carry umbrellas, and as the final step the law would be changed moving traffic to the left rather than the right side of their roads. Legislation was drafted that as of October 15 all cars will move to the left hand side of the road. If the change is as successful as they hope, on October 30 they will move the trucks and busses over also. | ||
| Aesquire |
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of guns who want off, get the heck off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of guns who are getting on, get your behinds in the train, 'cause we're going down the tracks." The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room, and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language." Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today." As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are annoyed about the TWO-HOUR delay, please see the witch in the kitchen." (from my 78 year old sainted Aunt Harriet. ) | ||
| Midknyte |
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| 86129squids |
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| Midknyte |
I know we've got some Antwoord fans here. This is pretty fun. Language warning for the uninitiated (Message edited by midknyte on August 14, 2015) | ||
| 86129squids |
Mid- thanks, that was AWESOME! | ||
| Aesquire |
http://acidsquirrel.com/post/80432 | ||
| Ponti1 |
I read this thread often, but in like three years have never had a NOT rude joke to tell. Seems like almost anything I have to offer would be offensive to someone. |
