Posted on Thursday, January 01, 2015 - 09:54 am:

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THE TED OFFENSIVE
Happy NugeYear, America!

Cowabunga! Did anyone get the license plate number on that tandem gravel scow that broadsided America in 2014! Oh the humanity! What an exciting year it was. Tire tracks across my back, you can tell I’ve had my fun!

I remember New Year’s Eve 2013 like it was yesterday. The Nugent tribe was cocked, locked and ready to rock doc for another yearlong American Dream journey, only better. 2013 was my 64th year of ultra-rockin’, ultra-huntin’, ultra-raising hell and being as ultra-We the People American as I could possibly be.

I knew that attitude and vision had worked like a charm all those previous years and was damn sure it would still work in the year 2014 ahead of me.

And it did, and it will – driven by self-evident truth, logic, facts, historical and current evidence and that lovely, alive-and-well common sense that permeates my every day, my every fiber, my every thought, my every dream.

It’s so simple, even a wild-eyed MotorCity bowhunting guitar player can figure it out.

I didn’t just author the ultimate love song, “Wango Tango,” I actually meant it.

So here we go again into a brand new year, a brand new era, a brand new chapter and a brand new adventure. And what, pray tell, will my fellow Americans do with this wonderful, glorious 365-day opportunity of choices that lies ahead?

That is the question; to be or not to be.

I know what I’m going to do; I’m going to Carpe Diem every damn day like I mean it.

I’m going to breathe deep, work harder, play harder, rock harder, think harder, hunt harder and live more intensely than ever before.

I will look to the heavens and thank God for this miraculous gift, this shot at my 67th year on earth. I will praise Him and thank Him every day that I was born an American, and promise that I will push myself harder to deserve this greatest gift, to be a citizen of the last best place.

I will raise more hell than ever before, reminding the apathetic sheep infesting this otherwise great nation that this sacred experiment in self-government is not a spectator sport, but rather, that it is a clear and present moral obligation to earn your own way as an asset to the greatest quality of life mankind has ever known.

My elected employees will hear from me more often, and I will remind them of the basic concept of accountability to their employers. I will remind them to re-read the U.S. Constitution and state constitution and function accordingly. I will give more direction and demand more answers. I will thank them when they’re good and scold them when they’re bad. And I will threaten them with employment termination when they refuse to do their job.

How radical am I?

I will increase my laughter in the face of the soulless propaganda ministry media and continue to expose the ugly fact that their hero Saul Alinsky is no hero at all, but rather a freedom-hating, America-hating, evil punk, and that more and more Americans are waking up to their deceitful and harmful scams.

I will give away more NRA memberships just to drive home to the criminals and their supporters that unarmed and helpless is irresponsible and suicidal.

I will train and recruit more and more hunters, fishers and trappers to increase the most successful wildlife conservation success story in the history of the world.

My cockroach spotlight will double down on the liars and scam artists like PETA and the Humane Society of the United States in hopes to get them prosecuted for their deceitful scams and lies.

My 2015 will be ablaze with increased goodwill and generosity for the hero warriors of the U.S. Military and their families, demanding a Veterans Affairs Department that finally fulfills its duty to take proper care of the most deserving human beings on earth.

I will kill more deer and big game critters to bring improved balance to the good mother earth while saving agriculture, reducing highway carnage and feeding many millions of needy Americans the hard-earned, sacred, nutritious, natural, renewable protein from God’s annual bounty.

I will grab my dangerous Gibson Byrdland guitar, unleash her majesty and take the stage with Charlie Daniels and his amazing band as we revive the Volunteer Jam charity fundraiser/hellraiser in Nashville, Tennessee, on Aug.14, 2015, at the Bridgestone Arena.

In 2015, I will not compromise one twit, I will not back down, I will not play games, and I will not give up hope for my country.

These New Year’s resolutions will be very easy for me to keep, just like I have for the last 40-plus years. It is what I do. It is what I am. I am but a humble servant to God and America standing up for what is right no matter how substantial the forces against me may be.

Happy New Year, America. Or as we say here at the Nugent Ranch, Happy NugeYear. 2015 is gonna ROCK!

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