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Crusty
| Posted on Wednesday, December 17, 2014 - 11:27 am: |
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This was written by my friend Bill who died last May. He wrote it back in the early '80s and it was published in Road Rider magazine. I've always liked it, and I just came across one of the original manuscripts while looking for a recipe. ********************************************* For Winter Riders Only by William Girolamo You know it’s cold out when it takes you longer to dress for the ride than it does to take the ride. You know it’s cold out when you’d rather spend Sunday afternoon watching an old Jerry Lewis movie than riding your bike. You know it’s cold out when it’s Saturday afternoon, you have nothing to do, your bike is out in the garage filthy, and you have no intention of going out to clean it. You know it’s cold out when you have to heat a bucket of water up on the stove before going out to wash your bike. You know it’s cold out when you have to come inside every five minutes to thaw out your hands while you are washing your bike. You know it’s cold out when you want to lube your chain, but the lube won’t come out of the can. You know it’s cold out when you can’t throw your leg over the saddle because you have too many layers of clothing on. You know it’s cold out when your electric starter sounds like a Waring blender trying to mix a cup full of cement. You know it’s cold out when you can fully appreciate the fact that you were able to start your machine before the battery went dead. You know it’s cold out when you pull in the clutch, shift into first, and the bike jumps forward three feet. You know it’s cold out when your boots are so thick that you can’t fit your foot under the shift lever to upshift. You know it’s really cold out when the feeling in your hands and feet is just a fond memory. You know it’s really cold out when your hands develop an intimate relationship with the hotter parts of your engine at every stop light. You know it’s really cold out when 40 MPH brings on Excedrin headache number 13. You know it’s extremely cold out when you’re coming to a stop light and you have to concentrate really hard on getting your feet off the pegs and onto the ground. You know it’s extremely cold out when the light turns green, and there’s nothing you can do about it. You know it’s extremely cold out when you envy the guy sitting in the car next to you. You know it’s extremely cold out when for a fleeting instant you feel that four wheels are in fact better than two. You know it’s incredibly cold out when you’ve been riding for a good two hours, glance at your watch and realize that it’s only been twenty minutes. You know it’s incredibly cold out when every biker on the road waves to every other biker, regardless of brand or displacement. You know it’s incredibly cold out when you want to wave to the other biker but you can’t separate your hand from the grip. You know it’s incredibly cold out when a ride consists of short runs between coffee shops. You know it’s incredibly cold out when you’re trying not to breathe because your breath keeps fogging up your face shield. You know it’s unbelievably cold out when you decide that a windshield and fairing are the greatest accessories ever designed for a motorcycle. You know it’s unbelievably cold out when your ride is over and you’ve got to get someone to come out and help you pry your fingers loose from the handle bars. You know it’s unbearably cold out when you want to shoot anyone who so much as mentions the word winter with anything other than a tone of disgust in his voice. You know it’s ridiculously cold out when that miserable, uncomfortable, torturous, ass-freezing ride was the high point of your week and you can’t wait for a chance to get out there again and freeze your buns off. *************************** |
Tootal
| Posted on Wednesday, December 17, 2014 - 11:57 am: |
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So TRUE! Thanks for sharing Crusty. The one about concentrating to get you feet to the ground is a story my father told me. He rode his Triumph Thunderbird to work and when he got there he had to ride around in circles in the parking lot until the engine heat thawed his knees enough to allow him to put his feet down! |
86129squids
| Posted on Wednesday, December 17, 2014 - 12:17 pm: |
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I remember when my work ride was a 1990 DR650, kickstart only- leaving work late at night, temp in the teens... began kicking the dead-cold motor whilst shivering, wearing coveralls, finally getting ready to depart 15 minutes later with flop-sweats from all the exertion!! I'm SOOO ready for some sunshine, hopefully temps in the 50's soon! It's been gloomy grey, sporadic rain, and 30's-40's around here. |
Thumper74
| Posted on Wednesday, December 17, 2014 - 01:38 pm: |
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I love winter riding when the roads are clear though. If you get pulled over, it's generally a trip for a free mental exam! |
Buellish
| Posted on Wednesday, December 17, 2014 - 04:04 pm: |
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Brings back memories of the '60's through the '90's before I had heated gear. Thank you Crusty for the fond and not so fond memories and thank you Gerbing for the warmth. |
Pnw_uly
| Posted on Wednesday, December 17, 2014 - 04:18 pm: |
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Perfect timing Crusty, as today I rode to work for the first time with my (slightly early) Christmas present of an Aerostitch Kanetsu windstopper heated vest... Wow, what a difference - - I felt like a piece of bread warming with heated coils on both sides. . . "Toasty, you might say . . ." Thanks for sharing. |
Two_seasons
| Posted on Wednesday, December 17, 2014 - 04:33 pm: |
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You know it’s incredibly cold out when you’ve been riding for a good two hours, glance at your watch and realize that it’s only been twenty minutes. Done that Thanks for the laughs Crusty! |
Panhead_dan
| Posted on Wednesday, December 17, 2014 - 08:04 pm: |
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I miss kick starters. They insure that the first part of the ride is comfy, at least. |
Strokizator
| Posted on Wednesday, December 17, 2014 - 08:15 pm: |
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I've been so cold that all I could think about the last 50 miles was a hot bath as soon as I got home. Filled the tub with HOT water and got in. 5 minutes later the water was cold and I still hadn't thawed out. Went out and bought a hot tub. Problem solved. Now I ride with a Roadcrafter 1-pc suit and an electric vest. It's almost like cheating. Anybody ever try to put new tires on when its freezing cold? |
Ourdee
| Posted on Thursday, December 18, 2014 - 07:30 pm: |
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Anybody ever try to put new tires on when its freezing cold? Yep. Cut the tire off the rim with a hack saw. I think it took me an hour to get the next one on without poking the tube. 1977 |
Pwnzor
| Posted on Thursday, December 18, 2014 - 08:28 pm: |
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I rode from Idyllwild, CA to Tehachapi, CA and BACK starting at around 6pm one Friday night. It got cold around 9pm, somewhere North of Adelanto before I got to 395. It just got worse from there. In a flannel shirt and jeans, with leather work gloves... I actually stopped and emptied a newspaper machine, and stuffed layers of paper into my shirt and pants. It helped, a little. I think that was the coldest I've ever been, and I've camped in a tent in the snow, in Yosemite Valley. |
Etennuly
| Posted on Friday, December 19, 2014 - 07:37 am: |
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I left East Tennessee for Daytona a few years back. I left at noon, it was 32F here. When I got to South Georgia, I was pulling off the Interstate when I saw a thermometer on a bank sign, it was 28F at 8:00 in the evening. The temperature never got above 42F any where that day. Then while tent camping in the infield at Daytona the next night the temperatures dropped to 38F with the wind blowing 20+ mph all night. That night Ratbuell and I figured out that if you start your bike and plug in the heated gear every couple of hours you can almost tolerate it. |
Reepicheep
| Posted on Friday, December 19, 2014 - 08:36 am: |
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Mounting tires in the cold varies from "PITA" to "freaking impossible". To have any chance, put the tire and a space heater under a welding blanket (carefully) and let it get good and warm, then work fast. Obviously, that's an easy way to start a fire or ruin a tire. |
Skinstains
| Posted on Saturday, January 10, 2015 - 01:53 pm: |
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Been commuting every day this year and it's been in the teens and 20's a good number of days. Single digits once or twice. I leave at 04:30 AM cold & dark but a lot less tools on the road. Snow is not a problem when it's cold enough that the snow "crunches" when you walk on it. If it doesn't crunch it will be quite a hairy ride. Gerbings heated socks rule ! once I turned 45 I figured I was old enough for electrics. Should've done it at 35. |
Rick_a
| Posted on Sunday, January 11, 2015 - 09:33 pm: |
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There's usually only a few truly cold weeks a year here. It's the only time I wish to be driving something. It seems like no matter how you try to warm up after the ride it takes a while for those bones to heat back up. |
Phelan
| Posted on Sunday, January 11, 2015 - 10:44 pm: |
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Until the snow a couple weeks ago, I was commuting daily on my bike here in Colorado in 15-20* weather. Layers under layers under layers. |
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